She wanted to go. She found she really wanted to go. Before she could stop it, she found a girlish giggle escaping her mouth. The sound was so foreign, it shocked her into instant silence. Then she found herself giggling again. Lily looked up from the couch and walked over to her, a big smile on her face.
“What’s funny?” she asked. She spotted the doughnut in her aunt’s hand and climbed back up into a chair and grabbed one for herself.
“Oh, I just got a silly note,” Roxie said.
“Note?” Lily repeated.
“Yep, a note,” she said.
Lily quickly lost interest after she took a bite of her doughnut. Roxie was grateful they were on the last two, because had there been more in there, she feared the two of them would have polished off another half dozen. Then she realized Kian wanted to take her back to the bakery later that afternoon. Was the man trying to make her gain twenty pounds? Maybe. That way, she wouldn’t be able to run away from him.
Before she was able to think about it too much, her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number on her caller ID and thought about letting it go to voice mail, but she could really use a distraction right about now, so she answered.
“Roxie?” the person said after only a second. She hadn’t had time to give a greeting.
“This is Roxie,” she said, not recognizing the voice.
“Oh, good, this is Sal,” the man said, and now she recognized his voice clearly.
“Hi, Sal, how can I help you?” She searched her memory but didn’t think she was missing an appointment.
“I wanted to see if you could come out to the doc’s a little early and help out,” Sal said.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re having a thank-you for the volunteers on Saturday, and there’s a lot of work involved. Wanna come help?” He might be posing it as a question, but Roxie knew why people had Sal calling for volunteers. His voice demanded an assent.
“I guess I don’t have anything going on,” she said hesitantly. “But I do have Lily.”
“Perfect. We have lots of people that can’t do any heavy lifting but love to hang with the kiddos.”
The phone went dead. Roxie looked at it and wondered if they’d been disconnected, or if Sal had just finished with the call and moved on to the next one. She shrugged and guessed she was going out to Evan’s house.
As soon as she told Lily, the child lit up. She was going to get to see the piglets again, and she was all for that. At least she’d be able to burn off all the sugar she’d consumed for breakfast. She hoped her niece didn’t think that was going to be a morning ritual from now on. It was normally eggs and toast or cereal. Never sugar goodness, though Roxie wouldn’t mind that too much.
It didn’t take her long to drive out to Evan’s, and she was barely out of her car before Eden was rushing up to her.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, her cheeks flushed as she practically bounced on her toes.
“Why?” Roxie asked.
Eden rolled her eyes. “Because the old ladies are driving me nuts with their meddling, and I need someone else for them to focus their attention on,” Eden answered honestly. Roxie felt the blood run from her face. She didn’t need anyone trying to match her up with someone. That would be a nightmare.
Before Roxie could blink, Martha was there at her side and easily talked Lily into going with her to the barn to see the animals. Then Eden was dragging Roxie in another direction. She so wasn’t used to all this. She was thinking it might be safer to stick with her niece than with the adults.
She was pulled into the house, where a bunch of people were arguing about how the party should go, and since Roxie had no idea what was going on, she felt like a fish out of water. She simply sat back and tried to be invisible. Maybe it would have been better if she had made excuses and not come.
Time was escaping her as she sat around the house planning and making decorations. She didn’t realize three was approaching quickly. When she finally did look at her phone, she realized she was going to be late, if she chose to go.
She should at least text him, but she honestly had no idea what to say, so she sat there biting her lip as she continued to stress.
“Okay, tell me right now what you’re thinking about. It looks pretty intense,” Eden said, pulling Roxie from her thoughts.
She found her cheeks heating, giving away that she was indeed thinking of something. But she honestly didn’t know what to say. She and Eden hadn’t been in communication for a long time, and this was a lot to take in.
“It has to do with Kian, doesn’t it?” Eden guessed accurately.
Now her cheeks flushed even more. She hated that her skin gave her away so easily. She never had been one of those people who could so easily lie. She was a little jealous about that fact.
“No,” Roxie said, but even the sound of her voice betrayed her. It was shaky and deceptive. Eden laughed.
“Come on, everyone in this town knows Kian is crazy about you,” Eden said. “He’s been in such a better mood since you’ve come home.”
“That’s not true,” Roxie said. Then she sighed. She had to share her secret with someone. It was killing her. Maybe it would be a mistake, but she didn’t care. “Lily is Kian’s daughter,” she blurted.
“I figured,” Eden said, not at all surprised.
“What? How?” She stopped trying to speak as she looked at her friend.
“You forget I was there with you at the park when you and Kian ran into each other again. The sparks were flying, and something was going on. Besides that, Lily looks just like Kian’s little sister. It’s pretty obvious.”
“Well, now you know why he’s been around so much. He wants Lily,” Roxie said, feeling unusually depressed.
“You can’t possibly think that’s the only reason he wants to be around,” Eden said as if she were a fool.
“Why? Did you talk to him?” Roxie asked, feeling a bit of hope. It was ridiculous how much her emotions were going up and down at the speed of sound. She was the one who’d walked away from him. She’d been the one to betray him. Sure, they had shared a couple of great rounds of sex, but that in no way solved the issues between them, and she shouldn’t want to fix the issues, anyway. This was only about Lily, not about her and Kian.
“He doesn’t have to talk to me for me to see the way he looks at you. The man has always been obsessed. You two are like two comets on a collision course for each other, and anyone with any good sense at all knows to stay the heck out of your path,” Eden said.
“No. We’ve had our time together, and it didn’t work out,” Roxie said. Then she leaned in. “I got completely consumed by him. I didn’t even know who I was anymore.”
She felt so selfish saying this, but she had to talk about how she felt. If she didn’t, she’d never be able to work it out in her own mind.
“Don’t you think you can still be yourself and be in love?” Eden asked. She wasn’t in any way berating her, which made it possible for Roxie to continue speaking.
“I wasn’t able to do it before,” she admitted.
“You’ve also had some time on your own to grow up and figure out who you are away from him. Do you like yourself more or less when he isn’t a part of your life?”