Roxie had an immediate answer, but she closed her lips instead of spouting it out as she truly thought about the question. It wasn’t something she’d ever taken time to consider.
“I don’t know,” she said. “When I moved away, I was running. I didn’t even know who I was anymore, let alone what I wanted. I still don’t really know. My sister died, and I’ve been taking care of Lily now, and it seems that my identity is now wrapped up in my niece. But I love being with her. I don’t look at her as a burden at all,” she quickly added.
“I understand that,” Eden said. “But, honestly, it’s okay to think about yourself, too. You have to be happy and fulfilled in order to be a good aunt or mother or wife.”
“When in the heck did you become so knowledgeable?” Roxie asked.
A sad light entered Eden’s eyes as she leaned back. “I’ve had my own heartbreak to deal with, and it caused me to do some soul-searching. I don’t know that much, honestly, and it’s much easier to analyze other people than myself. I just know that you and Kian are meant to be.”
“Have you ever thought about talking to Owen, telling him how you feel?” Roxie asked.
Eden looked around the room to make sure no one was listening before she leaned in even closer and whispered quickly, “No. Don’t say his name. He moved to New York to be this badass fireman and didn’t even blink as he left me behind. It’s over between us, and I hope I never see him again.”
There was so much pain in her eyes and her words, and it broke Roxie’s heart because she knew how her friend was feeling. The difference was that Roxie had seen Eden and Owen together, and she would have sworn the two of them would have happily gone off into the sunset together.
“When is the last time you talked to him?” Roxie asked.
“We’re talking about you, not me,” Eden pointed out.
“I know, but when?” Roxie asked. She found she liked focusing on someone other than herself as much as her friend did.
Finally, Eden sighed. “It’s been two years.”
“Have you tried calling, or has he?”
“No. He did try calling a couple of times in the beginning, and then I didn’t hear from him again, and I was glad. It’s over. I even dated another guy for all of five seconds, but it was too soon,” Eden admitted.
“I’m sorry,” Roxie said. She meant it. There truly was nothing like the pain of heartbreak.
“Maybe we are both better off just being on our own,” Eden told her with a pout.
“I can agree to that,” Roxie said.
Three o’clock had come and gone, and she hadn’t texted Kian. He’d been stood up and was probably furious with her now. Maybe that was for the best, too. They really couldn’t start something up. It wouldn’t be wise.
The sun was starting to get lower in the sky, and the clouds were rolling in. Time was quickly fading, and Roxie knew she should probably be heading home. She’d checked her phone several times and hadn’t heard from Kian at all. Maybe he hadn’t shown up at the doughnut shop, either.
The thought of that made her cheeks heat again. She was just on such unsure footing where he was concerned, she didn’t know what to think or feel.
“I should check on Lily now that we’re pretty much done here,” she told Eden.
“Yeah, I guess it’s time to head out. I’ve noticed several people leaving,” Eden replied.
The two of them walked outside, and half the vehicles were gone already, with more pulling out by the second. Eden told her goodbye, and Roxie headed toward the barn, where she heard Lily giggling so much, it made her smile.
She stepped inside and found Doc Evan and Lily sitting in the pigpen with all the little piglets climbing all over them.
“Well, this looks like fun,” she said, leaning against the rail and smiling at them.
“I like the piggies,” Lily said with a huge grin as one crawled up her leg and rested its tiny head on her.
“I know you do,” she told Lily, who quickly turned her attention back to the small animals. Lily was so gentle with them, Roxie couldn’t be more proud.
“How did you get roped into babysitting duty?” Roxie asked.
Evan looked up with a conspiratorial grin. “I avoid the meddlers as much as possible. I felt safer out here. The other kids took off a little bit ago, so I agreed to let Lily have some uninterrupted playtime. Come in and join us,” he told her.
“I can’t resist that invitation,” she said, and quickly climbed inside and sat down near Evan.
For the next fifteen minutes, she was swarmed with baby piglets that couldn’t seem to get enough attention. Roxie found herself laughing more than she had in the past four years.
“You’re a natural with animals. You should have gone to vet school instead of becoming a nurse.” Evan patted her shoulder.
She’d always enjoyed Evan’s company. He was such a good guy. She was comfortable with him. Why couldn’t she feel just as easy around Kian? Maybe because around Kian, she felt hot and bothered and never knew quite how to react. Would she have fallen in love with him if she’d never had such highs and lows? She wasn’t sure of that answer.
With Evan, she was comfortable, thinking of him almost like a brother. There weren’t any sparks, but what would it be like to be with a man whom she was simply comfortable with? No excitement, but no devastation. She wasn’t sure.
“I might have to think about doing that. I’m finding that I do enjoy animals more than a lot of people,” she told him, laughing again.
“Well, this looks nice and cozy.”
Roxie froze at the cold fury in the voice above her. She didn’t want to turn and look up, didn’t want to see Kian’s face, but almost as if she had no will to stop it, she looked anyway, and though he wasn’t exactly glaring, he didn’t appear to be a happy camper at all.
“Hey, Kian, want to join us in the pigpen?” Evan asked, seeming oblivious to Kian’s bad mood.
Roxie decided to look away from him, afraid if she continued to stare, his eyes were going to shoot fire at her and burn her alive. This was the reason the two of them would never have a relationship. It was too intense, too much for her to handle.
“No, I was worried about Roxie and Lily when they didn’t show up for our date,” Kian said.
Roxie gasped as she turned and glared at the man. “We didn’t have a date,” she told him through clenched teeth. She might not want to cause a scene, but she wasn’t going to allow him to make her look like some flighty girl in front of her friend.
“Yes, we did, for doughnuts,” he told her, refusing to back down.
“I received a note from you. I didn’t respond, and then I got busy,” she said. Her own voice was growing colder by the second, and Lily seemed to be picking up on it because she looked at Roxie with wide eyes.
“It was a date,” Kian said. “And last night was more than a date.” But right after he said that with a smug look, he seemed to notice Lily’s distress, and he calmed the tone of his voice. “Hey, Lily Bear, we’re all good.”
“Well, I’m definitely not getting in the middle of this,” Evan said with a laugh as he jumped to his feet and quickly climbed from the pigpen. “You guys take your time, and make sure the gate is latched when you leave.”