I shake my head. “It’s okay. I’m not family, just emotional support. I’ll wait here.”
She smiles in relief, obviously having fought that battle too many times in the past. “Thank you.”
I take Harper’s hand as the nurse helps her dad into the wheelchair. “I’ll be right here. You go be with your dad.”
“Okay.”
I watch her walk away, feeling like something important is happening. People keep glancing at me, and I wonder if they still feel I did the right thing by standing up for Harper. It doesn’t matter. She is mine, she is hurting, and she didn’t deserve the attack.
I lost track of time sitting there, finally realizing that the triage indicated that Mr. Sullivan needed to be taken right back instead of returning to the waiting room. Harper reappears after nearly two hours, looking exhausted.
“Are you okay?” I ask, crossing the room to her.
She nods. “It was dehydration caused by the chemo. They’ve admitted him and have him on IV fluids now.”
“But he’ll be okay?”
She manages a weak smile. “Yeah.”
“Good. Do you need anything? I can go by your place and ask your roommate to get you a change of clothes.”
She shakes her head and leans into my embrace. “No, visiting hours are over. Just take me home.”
I kiss her hair. “Okay.”
“Thank you for standing up for me and for being here.”
“Of course.”
15
Harper
It’s almost like an itch under my skin, the desire to go down one floor to see Axel. I glance at the clock before reminding myself that I have no reason to go. We concluded our marketing project about a week after the visit to the hospital, and I learned that it formed a major component of my evaluation. I’d been granted a sizable raise and was able to start sending extra money to my dad and Lauren. But the downside is there is no longer an excuse to see Axel several times a week.
We try to see each other as much as possible anyway, under the guise of him keeping me informed as to the status of the project now that it is being implemented. But as it moved from approval to production of materials, it was quickly becoming harder and harder to use it as an excuse.
I try to focus on my new tasks, my greater responsibility coming along with the pay, but I find my mind likes to drift in the downtime. It’s almost always to thoughts of Axel. He’s been amazingly considerate in all our interactions outside of work, asking me for my dad’s chemo schedule so that we’re not at the club those nights, and if we’re on a date at all, it is something that can easily be dropped at a moment’s notice to rush to the hospital.
More and more, it feels that agreeing to become his submissive was the right choice. At first, I worried that I would be giving up my freedom. Instead, I have Axel as a protector and ally. There’s a respect between us that I’ve never known before. I’d had boyfriends who were demanding, then demeaning when I was in public with them or when I didn’t accede immediately to their whims. I’d worried that becoming a submissive would entail even more demands. But Axel is careful with me and allows me to set limits. He has instituted a few rules, such as greeting him a certain way when we’re alone and addressing him as sir, but the tradeoff is immense.
I may have given him control, but in return, I receive the care and support that I crave.
It’s not like any relationship I’ve had in the past, and I can’t put a label on it. We’ve never discussed what we are. I don’t think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, but my heart says we’re something more than fuck buddies. I’ve given myself to him, and he’s accepted that responsibility.
And the sex! If I’d known it could be even a fraction as pleasurable as it is with Axel, I would have never waited so long. Every time he touches me is incredible, and I find myself wanting to give him more, to push myself to give him what he needs, because the more I give him, the more he gives me in return.
“Harper?”
I glance up from my laptop to see Declan standing there. “Yes?”
“We’ve called a meeting for this afternoon to go over all the details of your marketing campaign with the sales staff so that they’re ready to take calls on it. You don’t need to prepare a presentation, but I want you to be there to answer questions and give them the rundown.”
“Got it.”
He grins. “Great. I’ll see you in the conference room on the first floor at three.”
I nod, and he walks away.
I shiver. I’ll be able to see Axel, though I hate to do so with other people around.
I can’t let them catch on. I may be his submissive, but he’s still one of the founders of the company, and I will not have my position seen as connected to his. I worked hard to get where I am, and I’m going to be considered a reliable coworker and employee, Axel, or no Axel. So I can’t even let the rumor start that I’m sleeping with him on the side, or my work will never be taken at face value again.
16
Axel
It’s Tuesday, and I haven’t seen Harper since Friday when I dropped her off back home after another amazing night at the club. Every time I take her there, she opens up a bit more, giving herself to me in new and beautiful ways. I decide to take her to dinner tonight, likely following with a trip to the club. I need to feel her, soft and plaint in my arms as I take her. I need to see her obey, giving herself fully to me. I’m considering what I want for dinner as I walk into the break room for a fresh cup of coffee, and see Harper sitting at the table, looking exhausted, hands wrapped around a steaming cup.
Thoughts of dinner and sex fly from my mind as she turns to me and wishes me a soft and workplace-acceptable good morning.
I want to wrap her in my arms and demand she tells me everything. But it’s crowded, with a line to the coffee-maker, so all I can do is reply with an equally bland, “Good morning, Harper.”
I grab my coffee and can’t return to my office fast enough. I snatch my cell phone from my desk as soon as I enter, thumbing open my message app before I’ve even sat down.
Are you okay? I text Harper.
I glance impatiently at my phone every few seconds. She was still in the break room when I left, but I need to know why she looked like that. Finally, after a few minutes that feel like years, she responds.
I’m okay. Just tired. Dad had a rough night, and I was over there until almost three as we tried to decide if he needed to go to the hospital or not.
Anger curls through me. She should have stayed home today, but she’s only taken minimal time off to deal with his cancer.
My fingers fly over the screen. You should go home and rest.
Her reply comes through quickly. I’ll be okay. I’ve got too much to do to take time off because of one bad night.
I scowl. That wasn’t a request.
I don’t wait for a response. I pick up my phone and call Declan’s office.
“Hey, Axel,” he answers, sounding slightly distracted.
“Have you seen Harper Sullivan this morning?” I ask.
“I saw her working at her desk a few minutes ago. Do I need to send her down for something?”