And run. Run like death was behind us.
Because it was.
Tennessee had been full of horse farms, but I’d never actually been to one.
Standing in the Hardick’s main stable-filled horse barn (there were several smaller ones as well), I was overcome with the beauty of the animals.
Huge. They were so big and sleek and muscular, yet they were so gentle. Trusting. Affectionate.
I fell in love with them immediately.
In particular, I couldn’t seem to stay away from a gray horse named Tianna, who Penn had informed me was an Arabian. I stood by her stall, and she repeatedly nuzzled against me.
There was something pure about these animals. And unlike when I was wandering the halls of the Hardick mansion, being near the horses made me feel... like I was more than good enough.
Like I was worth something.
Penn had taken Murphy for a short trail ride on a brown horse named Ariel. Apparently they not only had numerous trails on the ranch, but they had trails devoted solely to rides for little ones.
After Penn had put every form of protective gear on Murphy that he possibly could, he’d looked at me one last time for permission. “You sure this doesn’t scare you?”
From the way he’d practically bubble wrapped Murph, I was pretty sure it more so scared Penn.
“He’ll love it,” I’d assured him, realizing that I fully trusted Penn with my child. Aside from Kate, I couldn’t say that about anyone else.
Murphy had giggled like a maniac while Payden lifted him up to Penn, and Penn continued to secure him as though they were going for a trot down a four-lane highway.
It was cute. Penn cared. A lot. And he didn’t even have to try.
He just did.
“What do you think of this Hardick family, huh?” I whispered to Tianna, a hand softly resting on her muzzle. “I mean, I guess you’re gonna say they’re amazing, cuz, look at your life. You are one lucky horse. Treated like royalty.”
I stared into her large, dark eyes. So calm. So tender. So unbelievably peaceful.
“I think they’re nice people too. But I’m not sure they’re going to feel the same about me. And... I come with baggage, Tianna. Somewhat scary baggage, to be honest. Is it fair to bring that into a happy place like this ranch? The Hardicks don’t need my problems. They don’t deserve to be near them.”
Tianna licked my face, apparently attempting to comfort me with her slobber. But it was too sweet to be gross. I laughed a little and wiped my face with the arm of my sweatshirt.
Humans aren’t even worthy of animals. All of the horrible things we were capable of... Yet animals embrace us like we are saints.
“Tianna’s the best conversationalist we have on this ranch. Aside from Jessie, that is,” Payden’s voice suddenly called out from behind me.
I whipped around, horribly embarrassed to have been caught talking to a horse, and knowing my face was probably the deepest shade of red imaginable.
“Oh my God. I, um, I –”
“You were talking to a horse? I do that every day all day long. Not gonna get any judgment out of this guy.” Payden smiled and patted a horse across from Tianna gently.
Dark haired and blue eyed like all of the Hardick brothers, Payden looked decidedly more like Pierce, who resembled their father. I wanted desperately to see a picture of their mother, who I assumed was responsible for Penn and Preston having slightly different features.
I’d probably ran past a thousand portraits of her this morning and not even realized.
There was so much about Penn and his family that I wanted to know. But I felt like such a hypocrite anytime I asked a question. It wasn’t fair for me to dig into his life if I wasn’t willing to return the same.
“Penn really likes you, Anne,” Payden said plainly. I’d been under the impression that Payden Hardick didn’t communicate with other humans unless forced at gunpoint. But I was beginning to see that his personality traits may have been over-exaggerated slightly.
He was quiet. He wasn’t mute.
“I really like Penn,” I replied, meaning it.
Payden nodded, still patting the horse’s muzzle intermittently. “He’s a good guy. He’s probably the best out of all of us.”
I guffawed. “I’m sure you all have your own great attributes.” It was the polite thing to say, but also, it seemed to be true. Every one of the Hardick brothers had their own interesting “thing” about them.
“Ha. I don’t know about Preston, but yeah, I guess that’s probably true.” Payden gave a small chuckle.
“Preston is quite the character.” I acknowledged, still unsure as to how I felt about that particular brother. He is incredibly forward, that one.
Payden was laughing at my comment when Penn and Murphy reappeared. Murphy’s smile was so giant that my heart hurt from happiness.
“Pay. Just the guy I needed to see. I let Ariel into the North pasture. Thought she could use a little wild time after carrying our fat butts around.” Penn nudged Murphy as he said the last part, and Murphy started giggling profusely.
Despite the constant flow of profanity that he’d been exposed to around Randall and Tim, Murphy still thought that “butt” was a bad word.
And a funny one at that.
Pierce entered the barn then. His wrinkle free button down and flat pressed slacks told me he definitely wasn’t here to tend to the horses. Then my eyes lowered, and I realized he was holding two tiny hands. A little girl stood to his right and a little boy to his left.
“A little bird told me that Anne and Murphy were here for a visit today,” Pierce said matter-of-factly. “I thought perhaps Murphy would like to meet Avonlea and Braden.”
The little girl – Penn had told me she was six – had her hair in two long, dark braids. The boy – only four – had equally dark hair, but cut in a shorter, buzzed style.
They both looked exactly like Pierce, and I wondered for a split second if that hadn’t been a blessing. I had no idea what Sarah looked like, but I imagined seeing her mini-me's every single day would have made an incredibly hard thing even harder. Then again, Pierce probably saw her in them regardless.
“I’ve got a great idea. How about I watch the little people and you two go take a walk or something?” Payden looked from Penn to me and back again.
Murphy was jumping up and down with excitement, and that was basically a full-on guarantee that I had to say yes. I smiled at him, then nodded at Payden.
“Great! Avy! Braden! Let’s show our new buddy where we keep all of the poop!” Payden put out a hand to each side. Avy took one, Braden the other, and then Murphy toddled over to them and clutched Braden’s hand.
The cute factor could have killed us all. Even Pierce was smiling widely, and I was under the heavy impression that that almost never happened. Anymore.
“Jessie will be up here any minute now. Said she’d come up when she was done at the office. You wanna see Jessie again, Murphy?” Payden was so kind and quiet with the kids. It struck me that he had the same gentle spirit as the horses.
“Well. That’s my cue to get back to my office. Pay, can you bring them up to the house when playtime is over?” Pierce started backing up, but paused, waiting for the go ahead.
“Absolutely.” The little line of hand holders took off walking for God knew what exciting adventure. I hoped it wasn’t actually to a poop pile, but then again, the Hardicks do have a lot of horses.