I wondered how often he actually had the opportunity to talk about his mother. It seemed to make him happy and sad all at the same time.
“I guess I’ve never really thought love like that exists, ya know? It’s amazing that they had it. Like storybook love...” I wondered just how often that type of love really hit two people.
Only when the stars align...
“Yeah. Except most fairytales don’t end with breast cancer.” Penn shrugged. “We’re human. We do the best with what we have until we no longer have it. And then... I guess we just have to be satisfied that we ever had anything to begin with.”
I put a sympathetic hand to his shoulder. “I’m really sorry she passed so early, Penn. I would have liked to have met her, I think.”
Penn grinned. “She would have loved you.”
He turned to me, smiling, his eyes full of tears, and my heart seemed to stop beating entirely. Just when I thought he would kiss me, he turned back to the horizon.
“Look.”
Out across the distance, maybe miles away, mountain tops peaked and sloped. The growing darkness turned them into one solid silhouette against the brilliantly colored sky. Streaks of yellow and flaming orange kissed the tips of the peaks and then transformed into mixtures of pink, purple, and blue... all growing darker the higher you looked.
“Oh my God.” I wasn’t quite aware that I was talking.
“I know.”
We sat in silence, mesmerized by the beauty. I understood why his mother – and every single other person who ever came to this ranch – would want to sit on this bench every night.
“Anne?” Penn’s voice was calm. Tender.
“Yes?” I turned to meet his gaze, which had intensified by several degrees.
“I know love like that exists. Cuz I saw it. And I want it. Whatever nutty voodoo magic those two had over each other... I want it.” His blue eyes reflected the last hints of light from the horizon.
“Me too,” I said, barely whispering. I wanted it very badly.
Penn wrapped his arms around me and kissed me – first gently, then with growing passion and need. I found myself pressing into him with just as much desire, and something inside of me began to grow flaming hot.
He pulled off my shirt, slipping it over my head and immediately removing my bra. I pulled his shirt off next, and undid his pants. For whatever reason, I stood then, and finished undressing with the very last of the sunset behind me.
Penn was hypnotized. He’d simply frozen. I pulled my ponytail down and let my hair fall across my bare shoulders, and walked to him.
He was still and beautiful – like a painting – and I gently pushed him down onto the bench, then pulled his pants and briefs completely off.
I mounted him, gently guiding his cock into my body and we stared at each other while the motion began. I pulled my body up, and pushed down, up, and pushed down, until Penn let out a moan and grabbed my hips.
With his muscled arms now in charge of the activities, the ride began to speed considerably. For every heavy thrust he gave that sent me upwards, his strong hands pulled me back down immediately.
I was thankful that this trail was closed to others, because noises started coming out of both our mouths that couldn’t be mistaken for much else other than exactly what we were doing.
As my orgasm hit, I was sure I would vibrate right off into space with pleasure, but Penn held me down, and then down, and then down as a giant roar escaped him.
I collapsed after that, and we lay bare on the bench for a while, letting the ecstasy flow through our bodies.
I had never felt so safe in my whole, entire life.
11
Penn
I wished there had been a way to take a picture of Anne standing bare against the backdrop of the sunset. I knew I would never see anything so magnificent ever again. But in some ways, I liked that the image was solely in my mind. No one else had seen it or ever would. Including Anne.
Mine. Just mine.
I managed to convince Anne to stay for a late dinner. On evenings when everyone was coming home at different times, Betsy often just left out a buffet of a bajillion choices for dinner.
By the time we arrived, Murphy, Avy, and Braden had already downed numerous bowls of Betsy’s famous mac n’ cheese with hot dog slices. She’d been making that for as far back as I could remember, and probably much longer than that even.
It had to have started when Pierce was little, and a hilarious family secret that we all pretended not to know, was that Pierce would, on occasion, sneak a bowl of the kid food himself, even now.
Payden and Jessie were still in the dining room. Preston had never showed, and Pierce would be back soon to get his little ones ready for bed.
None of us ever knew exactly when Dad would eat. Sometimes with us, sometimes without us, sometimes not at all.
“Certain processes cannot be interrupted. The creative flow is one of those processes. To stall it is to lose it.” Another one of his favorite sayings that was tombstone – or at least tattoo – worthy.
“Ya’ll watched the sunset, didn’t you?” Jessie had on her widest smile yet, and Anne immediately blushed.
“It’s the best part of the ranch. A must see.” I quickly replied, shooting Jessie a brief warning glare. That only made her smile bigger.
“Um, I could be in the minority here, but aren’t the horses the best part of the ranch?” Payden had talked more in the last week than in the entirety of his life. I wasn’t sure what his deal was, but I figured it had a lot to do with Jessie being home.
“The horses are absolutely exquisite,” Anne blurted, her voice full of emotion.
Payden smiled. “You and Tianna seemed to form quite the bond. That’s good. Horses know people. It’s a compliment.”
Anne blushed yet again, and Jessie stood. “Gotta go, boys and girls. Beauty sleep. It’s a thing.” She smiled warmly at Anne.
Murphy nearly tackled her when she tried to walk out of the room, but she assured him she’d be back tomorrow. I wasn’t sure whose face was more disappointed – Payden’s or Murphy’s.
I thought I caught a flash of something like yearning cross Pay’s face but decided not to even go there.
Pierce stepped in shortly after to collect his duo. They parted ways with Murphy as though the three of them went way back to... days in the crib? It was cute, and it was hilarious.
And Pierce was smiling – really smiling – again.
Payden talking, Pierce smiling... Next thing I know, Preston will give up the bottle, and Dad will start showing up at campfires.
There was a familiar feeling, although it was still very light – very quiet – that things were looking up in the Hardick household possibly once again. A bit of déjà vu from the days when we first met Sarah.
I imagined losing Anne suddenly, the same way that Pierce had lost Sarah. The thought made me physically ill.
No one could have known or stopped Sarah’s accident, but the idea that someone you loved could be gone so quickly...
And did I love Anne? Was it insane to believe – to know – that I did? Time be damned. When you knew, you knew.
I did love Anne Johnson.
I would not lose her.
I would protect her day and night.