Still, they represented the most promising possibilities in the room, so after I finished my performance (to rousing cheers, numerous whistles, calls for an encore, a marriage proposal, and an exceedingly loud belch (the timing of the latter might have just been coincidence; I don’t think it was a commentary on my show, though I still took it as a compliment)), I went to the bar for the usual post-performance complimentary ale and then made my way over to the table where the elf and the rock giant sat, stopping along the way to acknowledge compliments and star-struck expressions of adulation.
A small, scraggly looking dwarf sat with the elf and the giant, but the fourth seat at their table was open. “May I?” I asked, inclining my head toward the unoccupied seat.
The elf looked surprised, maybe even a little bit flustered, but nodded and I took a seat.
“Fine performance,” said the skinny dwarf.
“Eh,” I replied. “Not my finest, but I have a pretty high floor.”
“Golden voiced and modest,” murmured the dwarf.
“Hush, Rummy,” said the elf.
“The bard wants…to sit…with us,” said the rock giant.
“She already is, big guy,” replied the dwarf.
“So,” I said, taking a sip of my ale, “I’m Heloise.”
“I am called Nadinta Ghettinwood,” said the elf, her tone and bearing formal, almost stiff. “My companions are Borgunder Gunderbor and Rumscrabble Tooltinker.” She gestured toward the rock giant and then the dwarf.
“Not yet charmed,” I replied, “though I’m sure I will be.” I gave Rumscrabble the once over. “Normally, I have a thing for dwarves, but you’ve got nothing going on back there, do you?” I pointed toward Rummy’s seated backside.
He nodded pleasantly. “I’m only half-dwarven. I’m also half-halfling.”
“Ah, that makes more sense,” I said. “I can see which parts are halfling. Most of them, anyway.”
To his credit, he didn’t blush or show even the slightest hint of embarrassment. “Those that you can’t see are decidedly halfling as well, unfortunately. And you can call me Rummy.”
“I’ll think about that,” I replied.
“The genetic heritage of my covered parts, or addressing me by a diminutive?” he asked.
“Both.”
“Fair enough.”
I gave them a very obvious once over. “You’re either adventurers or have terrible fashion sense.”
“Are those things mutually exclusive?” replied Rummy. I was starting to like that one.
“We are indeed adventurers,” cut in Nadinta. “And we really did enjoy the performance.” She frowned. “I…we…would offer to buy you a drink, but we’re a little short of funds right now.”
“How’d you get those, then?” I asked, nodding toward their drinks.
“Borg helped unload a shipment of ale earlier,” Nadinta replied. “Took him less than half the time it would have taken the owner, so he offered to stand drinks for us this evening.”
“Or, if not real drinks, the cheapest—and most watered-down—ale he has,” added Rummy cheerfully. “But, as they say—any port with a deep enough harbor not to bump into anything when you’re taking on water.”
“No one says that,” I responded.
“They should,” said Rummy. “Though I guess it could be pithier.”
“This ale…tastes like water,” added Borg.
I signaled the barmaid, pointed to my glass, and held up three fingers. I figured the least I could do was buy them a real drink if I was going to try to talk them into getting themselves killed by a red dragon. “Let’s get you something stronger, Rocky.”
“You don’t need to do that,” said Nadinta.
“But we won’t say no,” said Rummy.
“My name…is Borg,” said Borg.
The barmaid brought the drinks, and my companions looked noticeably happier. After a few moments of sipping and small talk, I leaned forward. “Let’s talk seriously for a moment.”
The three of them put their drinks down and leaned in as well. I kept my voice low, more for effect than because I cared if any of the few remaining patrons, all of whom had just heard me publicly invite adventurers to take up the quest I was now about to talk my new friends into, listened in on our conversation.
“The people of Skendrick need help,” I said. “And you, clearly, need coin.”
Nadinta nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“I know it seems daunting…”
“Taking on a dragon? Pshaw,” said Rummy. “I’ve had blisters that were more daunting. Mainly because it’s very hard to prestidigitate when you’ve got a blister.”
“Not now, Rummy,” said Nadinta. “Heloise…there’s no question we could use the money. Our adventures so far haven’t exactly been lucrative, but—”
“So far?”
“We haven’t been together very long,” she admitted.
Advantage: Heloise.
“Getting started is tough. Killing a dragon is probably tougher. But what better way to both fill your purses and ensure that you never lack for commissions in the future? Not that you’d need to go questing anymore after you’ve got all of that dragon gold.”
“I’m pretty sure Nadi was coming to a ‘but,’ and I think, or maybe just hope, that the but was that we can think of better, or at least safer, ways to fill our purses,” said Rummy.
“This is…good ale,” said Borg.
“Why did you decide to start adventuring?” I asked Rummy.
He shrugged. “Prestidigitating is a young man’s game. And I’m getting older.”
I nodded. “So you weren’t very good at fake magic—got it.”
Rummy smiled, but not the smile of someone who is offended. He reached into a pouch at his belt and withdrew a pack of cards. He took his time removing them from the box, bringing them close to his nose and inhaling deeply before casually shuffling them with blinding speed in ways I can’t even begin to describe (and I’m a good describer). After a moment, he fanned them out on the table, looked at me, and said, in the time-honored tradition of street swindlers, “Pick a card. Any card.”
I raised an eyebrow, but did as he asked, reaching for a card toward the middle of the deck.
“Not that one,” he said.
“You said any card.”
“Any card other than that one.”
“Okay…this one.” I reached toward another card.
“Not that one, either.”
“This is the worst card trick I’ve ever seen.” I threw my hands up, exasperated.
“That’s because it’s not a card trick.”
“Huh?”
Rummy raised his right hand, which had been resting on the table, to reveal five gold coins. “I think these might be yours. I know they’re not mine. Though I’d like them to be. May I keep them?”
I’m sure my eyes went wide as I reached down into my purse and found it considerably lighter. About five gold coins lighter. Okay, exactly five gold coins lighter. “How in the name of the Seven Devils of the Serenthem did you do that?”