“And given my”—the words came out strained. She swallowed hard with her teeth gritted, determined to appear hard as the limestone beneath their feet—“Violent proclivities, it was reasoned that no girl had never been more destined for Aluk-Nuril. And so I was sent off. One of the youngest recruits in Ebronian history. At the time I was glad for it. Until I arrived. And then I realized I’d been sent to my probable death.”
But it had been too late by then. No amount of tears, nor prayers, nor pining for her dead parents had been able to change her fate. And the worst part? Maladib had won. If she died, he’d inherit the Pajel wealth. If she lived and chose the army, exactly as she’d done, he’d still inherit. She could keep it for herself, but for that she’d have to marry and breed. Impossible. After years of being tempered by the Edging, there was nothing left of her that wasn’t exactly that. An edge. And she’d rather have died than submit herself to a man who’d have made it his mission to file down what little purpose she could still serve.
“How . . . ” Magnus’s voice was halting. “How young? What was your age?”
A surge of adrenaline burst through her. This was the question she had been waiting for. Nadine stopped breathing. “I was ten. Less than a year after you savages stole my sister from me.”
Realization razed Magnus like a wildfire. It was instantaneous, as though he’d guessed the answer even before he’d asked the question. His people had taken Lavinia, her guardian, the only person who truly loved Nadine. The only one who would have protected her. Nadine raised her chin.
Magnus moved like he meant to take her in his arms.
Nadine’s response was automatic. She stepped back in equal measure. “You savages reap what you do not sow and leave the chaff to be crushed and chewed by any manner of beast.”
Magnus went still. He didn’t answer, only listened, watched her as though she were a frightened animal about to bolt off the edge of a cliff, one he intended to catch even if it sent him tumbling over. In that moment, Nadine would just as soon take him with her to the watery depths below.
“And now you, a Dokiri barbarian, have seen fit to come back for a bit of the chaff after I’ve been spat back in the sand? After I’ve put roots in the ground? Grown tall and proud? Made something formidable of myself? Now? When I have this chance to rise above everyone who’s ever trampled me and let them tremble in the glory of my shadow?”
She shook her head. “You want to steal me away to hide in a hole of your mountain while I breed more just like you? Men with no regard for what they take or leave behind? Only what they might gain for themselves?”
Nadine’s throat had grown tight with each passing word, conviction deepening. Her attraction to Magnus had been harmless enough. Even now, she was in no danger of succumbing. That she stood naked with him for this watery tryst meant nothing. She could take him into her body now, and it would mean nothing. No matter what this savage claimed, no matter what he wanted, no matter what he carved into her flesh, this truth remained: Nadine Pajel would always be her own. No one else’s.
Because no one will ever be mine.
The truth struck her like a vengeful hailstorm. She looked at the barbarian. Those want-filled eyes set upon her as if she were the only thing he’d ever desired. As if his mission in life were simply to serve and never let go. His eyes were filled with promise.
Lies.
Nadine drew her palms together and shoved them hard through the surface of the pool, at Magnus. A fan of water shot toward his face. He made a sputtering sound of surprise, and when the watery curtain fell, she was already slicing toward the bank.
In the periphery of her vision, she caught him whipping the water from his face before staring at her retreating figure. She thought he might chase her. But as she clutched the rocky bank and pulled herself out of the water, Magnus only stared. Not a single word on his barbarian tongue.
Rivulets trickled down her pinkened cheeks, and Nadine sniffed. It was only spring water.
13
Taming a Tigress
Bedmeg was exactly, and nothing, like what Nadine had expected.
In the most literal sense, it was a cave. A hole carved into the side of the mountain. But that was like saying the Golden Court was a shiny roof with some rooms inside. The Dokiri escorting them had been sleeping here at night rather than risk the open ground. From what Nadine understood, even their constant watchkeeping couldn’t really make them feel secure, hence their people had taken refuge in Ebron. Only those protecting the Ebronians remained upon the mountain. Still, she could imagine this cave as a natural fortress, and she’d sleep far sounder from inside its sturdy walls.
Nadine and her men slid off the gegatu. She ordered a few ahead of the group to watch their flanks as they ascended the wide ravine leading to the gaping mouth of what Magnus called the common area. The men wobbled up the slope on shaky legs, relief etched into their features after their first flight. Nadine didn’t hide a half smile at their conflicting looks of wonder and wariness. She found Samar across the way and, ignoring her lingering irritability, raised her chin. “How many other Ebronians can say they’ve seen clouds from the other side, Lanta?”
Samar’s answer came in a grudging grunt. Still, he smiled before turning to give orders to Rushil. He hadn’t agreed with her decision to go with the Dokiri. But he had supported her, and now they were here. They’d saved a full week of travel in doing so, and the Dokiri had not betrayed them. She herself had not expected betrayal, and the thought made her frown. Nadine walked back toward Yrsa and was careful not to irritate the beast. Magnus was busy working at the saddle trappings. Nadine bit the inside of her cheek and swallowed the awkwardness of what they’d shared earlier in the springs.
“Is your brother in command here?”
Magnus paused, one hand still on his mount. “You mean Erik? He would be. But he’s already gone to meet with the Nozverak.”
Nadine glanced toward the high, noon sun. “I thought they wouldn’t meet in the daylight.”
Magnus turned back to his work. “They won’t. But he and a few of the others are going to wait at the Throat for them to appear. With any luck they’ll be meeting within a night or two and we can convince them to come to Bedmeg.”
“Who’s in charge in the meantime?”
He shot her a grin over his shoulder. “Do you have to ask?”
Nadine snorted and rolled her eyes. Magnus tore Yrsa’s saddle off with a mighty heave and lifted it high over his shoulder. Nadine stepped away from the gegatu as she jumped into the air to fly high over the ravine and disappear over the edge of a rocky cliff. The other Dokiri’s mounts had done the same, and Magnus went along with his brethren to one edge of the stony valley toward what looked like an armory tucked in a deep crevice in the wall.
Nadine followed at a distance, just close enough to get a good look at what passed for a forge in Magnus’s land. It was crude, just like his weapons. At least they knew how to make steel. Where did they mine their ore? She wasn’t the only one taking notice. Samar came up next to her and leaned into her ear with arms crossed.
“Maybe someday they’ll learn to swing actual swords.”