“I fed on the Quills and those frost giants to prove a point, not because I was hungry. I’ve never felt like more of a monster than I did last night.
“But because of Adira, I realized something really important. I need to stop letting human rules and expectations bind my thoughts and actions. I’m not human. I never was. I was always the predator, never the prey.”
I took a big breath.
“So I just need to figure out how to be okay with hurting people.” My voice broke on that last tormented word, and Mom started crying.
Then she startled me by yelling.
“Jason!”
He flew into the house, his eyes wide.
“What’s wrong?”
“Get the car. We’re going to kill that woman.” She stood. “I’m going to change into something black so you won’t need to worry about stains.”
“Nicolette, sit down,” Dad said firmly. “Think of the baby you carry and the one you’re scaring.”
His gaze shifted from Mom to me as he crossed the room and knelt beside my chair.
“What did Adira do to you?”
“She made her doubt herself, Jason. Our daughter. The strongest of my kind.”
“Drink your hot chocolate, my beloved,” he said without looking away from me. “Tell me what she did.”
I was so confused by both their reactions and actions I didn’t know what to think. My dad had essentially just told my mom to be quiet and drink her hot chocolate. And she’d listened. And instead of trying to comfort her while she was upset or rushing to get the car to make her happy, he was looking at me with a very clear and concerned gaze. I felt like I’d slipped into an alternate reality.
“She made me realize I’m not human,” I said without thinking.
Dad flinched like I’d struck him. I saw the truth in his eyes.
“I’m a monster,” I whispered, saying the words I knew he’d never utter out loud.
“You’re not a monster, Eliana. You’re our daughter. The best parts of both of us.”
How many sermons had I listened to that had said the opposite? More than I could remember.
“The best or the worst, Dad?”
Mom’s hand came down on the table with a crack that made me jump. Tears still streamed down her cheeks, but her eyes were black. Fully black like mine always got.
“You are the best of us, Eliana,” Mom answered. “Never doubt that.”
I looked back at Dad.
“You don’t believe that. And neither do I. That’s the problem. I just don’t know what to believe or who I am anymore. Am I a sinner? Am I the devil’s tool? Am I a predator driven to hurt others so I can live?”
“It wasn’t only Adira who made you doubt yourself,” Dad said, looking sick. “We both played our parts, too.”
Mom sniffled, drawing my attention again. As I watched, the black bled from her gaze.
“I never thought that by leaving you in the human world, human social norms would override your natural instincts. But they have. And there’s nothing wrong with the way you think or what you believe. You’re you, Eliana. There’s no other like you. And I think that’s what you’ve been trying to get all the adults in your life to understand, and we’ve been failing you miserably. Forgive us.”
She’d said everything I needed to hear, and it created an ache in my chest.
Unsure I could believe her, I looked at Dad. Pain and pity reflected in his gaze.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t in the right place to see what was happening. Forgive me.”
I nodded and wiped at my eyes. He kissed my forehead then looked at Mom.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to killing that woman, though, if you still wanted to, my love. She’s not making anything easier on Eliana.”
“You tempt me in so many ways, Jason.” The purr in Mom’s voice had me glancing at the door and wondering how fast I could make it back to the car.
“But, I’ll postpone my verdict until after dinner tonight. Eliana,” Mom said, gaining my attention. “You did the right thing by inviting me to dinner. Adira will not pressure you again.” Mom’s eyes flashed dark before clearing.
Mom’s phone began to buzz on the table. She glanced at the screen, and her eyes narrowed.
“Adira wants to know if you’re with me since you didn’t return home last night and aren’t at school.”
“Banshees screamed worldwide two days ago. You’d think that would be a bigger concern than one missing student,” I said.
Mom’s annoyance disappeared, replaced by tenderness.
“In this one thing, she and I can agree. You are more important, Eliana. Never doubt that. And since her concern in this one instance is correctly placed, I’ll answer her.”
She left the room to call Adira.
“Do you know why I know you’re the best of us?” Dad asked when we were alone.
I shook my head.
“I’ve failed you in so many ways, but you’ve never stopped caring for me. You’re selfless, Eliana. No matter what they try to make you do, no matter what they say you are, they can’t take that piece of you that cares about other people.”
He glanced in the direction Mom had gone.
“Your mom cares about people, too. Maybe too much, though. She’s not resting enough. I know Club Blayz is important to her, but she needs to rest. Do you think she’ll stay home today?”
And just like that, I lost him, and bits of my poorly mended heart shattered all over again.
“I think she will, Dad. But if she doesn’t, I’ll keep an eye on her and make sure she rests.”
My phone rang, saving me from having to say anything more. I answered it without checking the number.
“Hello?”
“Eliana,” Mrs. Quill said, relief lacing her voice. “I was so worried last night when you left without finishing your meal. You’re always welcome to come and go as you please—that hasn’t changed—but I was wondering if you would be willing to let me know if you’re staying out for the night. It doesn’t matter that you’re more than capable of caring for yourself or that your mother’s here. I worry.”
My stomach pitched at the sound of her voice and at what she was saying. I’d fed from her last night. I hadn’t asked. She hadn’t offered. I’d just taken. And she was worried that I hadn’t come home?
“You want me to come back?” I asked.
“Oh, my darling. Of course, I do.”
It didn’t make sense to me.
“Is that why you didn’t come home last night? Did you think you wouldn’t be welcome?”
I kept silent, not knowing what to say, having been manipulated far too much.
“Eliana, you have a home here. Always. Nothing that happened last night changed that. Nothing ever would.”
“Okay.”
“I’m so sorry for all the reasons I’ve given you to doubt me. Will you be coming home after you’re done visiting with your parents?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Will you and your mother still join us for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t know.” I glanced at Dad, who was listening closely. “I need to go. I’m having breakfast with my parents. I’ll text if I’m not planning on coming home tonight so you don’t worry.”