“No problem,” I say, watching him as he goes to my door. “I’m sorry.”
Pausing, he turns to face me, a grim smile on his face. “I’m sorry too, son. But we’ll help you figure everything out.”
“Do you really think it’ll hurt my chances to get into college?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. But I’m going to look into it.”
I watch him go as he slowly closes the door behind him, and when he’s gone, I grab my phone and go into Snapchat, checking out the SnapMap.
Addie’s turned her location off, when it’s normally on.
Damn. Is that because of me? Or Liam? Or everything that’s happened in general?
Deciding I need to get over myself and reach out, I send her a quick message on Snap.
Me: Hope you’re okay.
She doesn’t respond right away, so I set my phone down and try to read a chapter from my American Government textbook, but I can’t concentrate for shit, so I give up. I go to my bed and scroll through my phone, wishing she would answer me.
But she doesn’t.
My phone rings and I answer it immediately when I see Jake’s name flash on the screen.
“Heard you caused a little trouble,” is how he greets me.
I groan. “What? Did Mom call to tell you about it?”
“Nah, it was Dad, and he texted me all the details.” He hesitates for only a moment. “What the hell, little brother? Getting in fights on campus? Getting suspended? I bet Adney was furious.”
My brother had a few run ins with Adney when he was in school so he knows what she’s like.
“More like disappointed. They all are.” My voice lowers and I grip my phone tight. “That’s the worst part. I feel like I disappointed everyone.”
“Tell me what happened.”
I give him the full rundown, not leaving out a single detail. I even tell him how much I like Addie, and what she means to me, and what Liam said to her that sent me right over the edge.
“I get why you did it,” he says after I’m finished.
“It was dumb though, right?”
A sigh leaves him. “Look, you gotta stand up for what you believe in, and protect those who you care about. And I get the sense you really care about Addison Douglas.”
“I do,” I admit, trying to shove aside the worry that gnaws at me since she hasn’t responded to my earlier text. “She probably thinks I’m some muscle head asshole now.”
Jake chuckles. “I doubt that. Sometimes, girls really love that shit.”
“You think so?”
“For sure. You ran to her defense. You socked your friend in the face for being rude toward her. That’s kind of a big deal. Not just anyone would do that.”
I would for her. Every time.
“I guess,” is what I mumble to my brother instead.
I don’t want him thinking I’m an idiot either. My entire life, I’ve looked up to Jake, always seeking his approval. I don’t want to lose it now.
Or ever.
I let him change the subject and he tells me about his football schedule and how much he wants us to come out and watch him soon. We somehow always make the hectic schedules work. Dad doesn’t give a shit how much a plane ticket costs. He’s there for my games and Jake’s, and when he can, even Ash’s and Eli’s too.
Meaning he is on the move a lot, and most of the time, I am too.
Would Addie mind that? Could I convince my parents to let her come with us sometimes? Would she even want to go?
Shit, I don’t know.
After I eat a somber dinner with my mom and dad, I’m in my bathroom, about to take a shower, when my phone chimes, indicating a Snapchat text from Addie.
Finally.
Addie: I’m fine. A little shaken up over it. I should be asking you if you’re okay.
I could play games and answer her after I take a shower, but screw it.
I’ve been dying to talk to her since it all happened.
Me: I’m all right. Jaw hurts a little.
Addie: I didn’t think he actually hit you.
Me: More like his knuckles brushed against my jaw. He didn’t get a solid punch in. Still hurts tho.
Addie: Adney told me you were both suspended.
Me: Yeah. Sucks. Can’t play in our first game Friday night either.
Addie: I’m so sorry.
Me: Hey, it’s not your fault.
Addie: I know. I just feel bad. You got in a fight over what Liam said to me.
I don’t regret what happened.
I only regret that I lost control and we got busted.
Me: Don’t feel bad. Liam has been shitty toward me for a while. I don’t know what his problem is.
She doesn’t respond for a while and I go to my room, grabbing some clothes to take into the bathroom with me. Exhaustion hits me hard and I’ve already started the shower and am stripping when I finally get a text from her.
Addie: Thank you for defending me, Beck. It means a lot, how you watch over me.
Damn, if she only knew how much more I want to watch over her. Take care of her. The need to protect her fills me to the point that I can’t think of anything else.
Pretty sure she’s completely unaware just how much my feelings for her consume me.
Me: I’ll always defend you, Adds. You know this. I’ve got your back.
I stand in the middle of my bathroom in my boxer briefs and nothing else, my phone clutched in my hands as I wait for her response like a little kid who just admitted to his crush that he likes her.
Addie: I’ll miss seeing you at school. Want me to ask your teachers for your homework assignments?
They’re all just going to email me my assignments anyway, but okay. I like that she’s coming up with an excuse to see me.
Me: Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.
Addie: Maybe I can bring them by for you tomorrow? Won’t be until later in the night though because we have a game.
Disappointment crashes over me. I won’t be able to go cheer her on. When you’re suspended, you’re not even allowed on campus. And Adney will be at that game tomorrow night—she’s at most activities at school a lot of the time since she lives so close to campus. She’s just always there. And she’d kick my ass right out the moment she spotted me.
Me: Wish I could go to your game.
Addie: Me too.
She adds a red heart with her response.
Emojis were a heavy commodity back in middle school. They meant something. A push forward, a way to share your feelings without blatantly stating I LIKE YOU. Guess it’s still the same now, and we’re both practically eighteen, for the love of God.
Seeing that heart emoji gives me hope.
Me: You don’t have to bring my assignments over tomorrow. I’m sure my teachers will email me.
Addie: I don’t mind. I want to see you.
Again, I’m open with my feelings to her. No game playing this time around.
Me: I already miss you.
Addie: I miss you too.
I smile. Despite everything that happened today, those four words light me up inside.
Addie: I’ll text you when I’m on my way to your house, okay?
Me: Okay, sounds good. Good luck on your game tomorrow.
Addie: Thank you. Goodnight, Beck.
Another red heart emoji accompanies her words.
I take a deep breath, realizing the room is filling with steam, thanks to the hot spray of the shower.