“Look at me, Ive.”
Her eyes opened and she looked away, anywhere but at me. I reached across the table and held her chin between my thumb and my finger and turned her face to meet mine.
Green eyes searched mine.
“You’re fucking beautiful. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. No one has ever held a candle to you. And no, I can’t say I’ve abstained the way you have. Fuck. I wish I could, because it’s never been good. It’s never been you.”
She nodded and I released her face and she sat back. “It’s not like I haven’t done other stuff. Obviously it’s been a long time. But I’ve never felt like taking that step with anyone. I keep hoping I’ll meet someone that will make me want to go there. But it hasn’t happened.”
A tear streamed down her cheek, and I leaned forward and swiped it away with my thumb. “You’re the fucking rock star, Ive.”
“So, that’s my truth.”
I nodded. What the fuck did this even mean?
I wasn’t staying.
Ivy wasn’t leaving.
“I’m glad we finally talked about it.”
“Me too,” she said, as Mae set down two waters in front of us and Ivy asked her to bring the check. She’d obviously shared as much as she was willing to today.
“So, where does that leave us?” I asked. I never thought Ivy would forgive me. But sharing how we’d both never really moved on from the other was a lot to process.
Even with my confession, I hadn’t expected it.
But this girl was full of surprises.
Always had been.
Chapter Nine
Ivy
“Love hard and love big and don’t let anything get in your way.” Gigi, sophomore year in college
“Well, our lives are different now, Ty. Your life is not here, and mine is here. I still want what I always wanted. A family, lots of kids, and the career that I’ve already started.”
“The impossible dream.”
“I don’t think so,” I said, and I tried hard to stop my words from slurring.
“My life is on the road most of the time. It’s no place for a family. And that works for me. I don’t want to have kids and put them through the shit that I went through—it’s just not for me.”
I nodded and tried to fix my features so he couldn’t see how much his words stung. How much I wished we could go back to a time when we wanted the same things. Because I still loved this boy even after all that had happened. I’d tried so hard over the years to find someone else. But I truly believed there was one perfect match for each of us, and I’d found mine. And there was no one else for me.
Wrong place, wrong time.
“I get that. How long are you here for?” I asked.
“Another week and a half,” he said, as he studied me. Mae approached the table and Ty reached for his card and handed it to her. His gaze never left mine.
“Well, I have a proposition for you.” What did I have to lose? According to Coco, my vajazzle still worked even if I feared it had closed for business for good. Sure, it would hurt when he left again, but I was hurting anyway. Why not give myself a little bit of joy while he was here?
I thought of that old song, about the sailor and the cocktail waitress, I think her name was Brandy. She was a fine woman. He loved her, but he loved the sea more.
Maybe I would get Ty Greene out of my system once and for all. This could be closure, right? My head was also buzzing because I’d had more to drink in the past few hours than I’d had in years. Shots weren’t really my thing.
“Let me hear it,” he said.
I waited when Mae set his card back down on the table and smiled at both of us. “Good to see you two talking. Come back real soon.”
“Will do,” we both said, but again, our gazes were locked on one another.
She chuckled as she walked off.
“What if we just have some fun while you’re home?” The words didn’t even sound like me at all. But I was going for it. You only live once, right?
Carpe diem.
Seize the day.
Bite the bullet.
Take the bull by the horns.
Well, maybe that was going a little too far. But I’d thought about Ty every day for five years. The idea of being with him again made me want to throw my morals right out the door.
“Some fun, huh?” He chuckled, and the way his eyes watched me had me squeezing my thighs together. He was so sexy. Tall and lean. Just the right amount of muscle. His handsome face was chiseled perfection. Dark, sexy eyes. Soft, plump lips.
Damn you, tequila.
“Let’s go, Ive. We can talk about it on the walk home.”
Well, that didn’t sound very promising. It sounded a bit like he was preparing to reject me.
We got stopped by several people on our way out of the diner. They were all excited to see Ty and asked me about Talia’s wedding, because everyone in town was attending that wedding.
We finally made it outside, and Ty reached for my hand. “I’m not going to have sex with you today.”
I yanked my hand away and whipped around to face him. “So, what was all of this? Just a tease to get me to admit to you how I feel? How I’ve never moved on?”
He looked startled that I was shouting at him in the middle of the street.
“No.” He reached for my hand and fought me when I tried to pull away. He started walking and I huffed beside him, digging my nails into his hand. “Damn you, Ivy. That’s not it. I’ve already fucked up with you and I don’t want to do that again. I’m dying to have sex with you.”
I pulled my hand away when he eased up on his grip as we walked up the steps to my house.
“You’re a liar, Ty.”
He moved into my space, crowding me. My back hit the front door and I gasped as he kissed me hard. He took my hand and moved it to his bulging erection that was straining against his jeans.
And… oh my.
He pulled away, his breaths coming hard and fast. His gaze wild and full of desire. “I’m not lying, Ive. I’m trying to do the right thing. I want to go inside with you. And I’ll make you feel good, I promise I will. But I don’t want to have sex with you when you’re drunk. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and resent me. Not when you finally don’t hate me. I want to make sure you’re still good with this plan of just having fun. Because I’m not staying, and I don’t want to go another five years not speaking to you. Not feeling your warmth and your light. Because I’ve missed it so much. Missed you. So let me come in with you. And if tomorrow morning you still want to just have fun, you won’t need to so much as say the words, and I’ll bury myself so deep in you, you won’t be able to see straight.”