Me: Who is this?
Hope, fear, and anticipation curdled in my stomach. Maybe it’s my mom…
An eternity passed in the ten seconds it took for the reply to pop up, but when it did, I almost dropped my phone in shock.
Unknown: It’s Max
Max. My ex-boyfriend. How did he get my number? Why was he contacting me now after seven years of radio silence?
There was only one reason, and the prospect made bile rise in my throat.
Max: We need to talk.
I shoved my phone in my bag. Cold sweat slicked my palms, and I wiped them against my thighs in an attempt to gather myself.
“Hey.”
My head jerked up at the sound of Josh’s voice.
He leaned forward, his brow puckered with what would’ve passed for concern had it been anyone else.
“Who was that? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” His eyes flitted to my bag, where my phone burned a hole through the leather.
I wasn’t answering Max. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to know what he had to say. Maybe if I ignored him, he’d disappear for another seven years.
Forget diamonds; denial was a girl’s best friend.
“No one. Just spam,” I lied.
Josh didn’t bring up the issue again, but the weight of his stare pressed down on me for the rest of the meal.
I lifted a forkful of salmon to my mouth and chewed. It tasted like cardboard.
I bet Max still had the tape. He’d been sitting on it for years. What if he decided it was finally time for him to cash in on the blackmail material? What if I couldn’t meet his demands?
If he released the tape, it would ruin my career before it began. Everything I’d worked so hard for, down the drain in an instant.
My stomach ached, and it wasn’t just from my cramps.
I’m going to be sick.
I shoved my chair back and ran to the bathroom, ignoring my friends’ startled glances. I made it into a stall just in time for my lunch to reappear. Even after I threw up everything I ate, I dry heaved until my throat was raw.
I thought I’d escaped my past, but at the end of the day, our demons always caught up with us.
15
JULES
Max didn’t contact me again after his initial texts. I was the one who’d ignored him first, but his silence festered until I was a mess of anxiety by the time I boarded my flight back to D.C.
I’d used my period as an excuse for why I ran out of lunch so suddenly, and no one questioned it, though Josh’s skepticism had been so thick it was tangible. I’d ignored it; I had bigger issues to worry about than whatever he thought of me.
I tapped my pen against my desk and stared at the screen before me. I was finally working on LHAC’s main floor after my desk arrived yesterday, and I could hear the shuffling of papers from Ellie’s desk behind me, the faint flush of the toilet from the bathroom down the hall, and the jangle of the bells above the front door every time it opened. It was more chaotic than working alone in the kitchen, but I thrived with background noise.
Unless, of course, I was distracted by other things.
My eyes strayed to my phone. It sat dark and silent next to my mug of pens, but that didn’t stop me from holding my breath like it was going to light up with a new message from Max any minute.
I should just call him and get it over with, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my cycle of half miserable, half blissful ignorance.
Focus.
I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. I’d just started typing again when Ellie squealed behind me.
“Josh! I didn’t know you were coming in today.”
“Hey, El.” Josh’s deep, flirtatious drawl raised my hackles. “New haircut?”
Surprised flattery filled her giggle. “Yep. I can’t believe you noticed.”
My grimace reflected back at me from my computer screen. Ellie was sweet, but her crush on Josh was so obvious it was painful.
“It looks good,” Josh said. “Short hair suits you.”
“Thank you.” Another giggle.
I typed faster, the click-clack of my keyboard adopting a furious tempo as the sound of footsteps neared. They stopped next to me.
Clack. Clack. Clack—
“Jules.”
I waited several beats before I lifted my head to meet Josh’s eyes. The first thing I noticed were his scrubs. It was my first time seeing him in his doctor’s clothes, since he usually changed out of them before arriving at the clinic. The blue uniform was too shapeless to be objectively flattering, and yet…
Something in my chest stumbled.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
My stomach knotted with horror. I couldn’t possibly feel…attraction toward Josh Chen. Not here, in D.C. I could chalk up my momentary loss of good judgment in Vermont to the mountain air, but here I had no excuse.
Any butterflies, flutters, and skipped heartbeats were unacceptable. Unthinkable. Downright disgusting.
“I see your desk has arrived.” Josh’s gaze flitted from my face to my favorite fluffy pink pen. A hint of a smile filled the corners of his mouth. “Looks like we’re neighbors. Lucky you.”
He angled his head toward the desk across the aisle from mine. I’d wondered who it belonged to, since its sparse decorations provided no clue as to its owner’s identity.
“I’m thrilled,” I said flatly. I leaned back in my chair and narrowed my eyes. “I didn’t realize volunteers had their own desks.”
“They don’t. Only I do.” His voice took on a familiar cocky lilt. “I’m beloved around here, Red.”
Sadly, it was true. The rest of the clinic staff fawned over him like he was the second coming of the messiah. It was enough to make a girl want to hurl.
“I can’t imagine why.” Keep to the truce. “Well, as lovely as this conversation is, I have to get back to work. Lots to do,” I chirped with false pep.
Josh’s eyes glinted with amusement. “Of course.”
He settled in at his desk, and we didn’t speak again for the rest of the afternoon.
By the time the clock ticked toward five, I was bleary-eyed from staring at the screen so long, and my wrists ached from typing. I might’ve been a little aggressive with my keyboard, but it was a good release for my pent-up tension.
“What a day.” Ellie yawned. “I could use a drink. Anyone else down? The Black Fox has a great happy hour special.”
The Black Fox was the bar across the street and a popular watering hole for hospital staff.
“I am.” Marshall was the picture of eagerness. Like Ellie, he was a full-time research associate, and if Ellie’s interest in Josh was a flashing neon sign, Marshall’s interest in Ellie was a full-blown billboard complete with floodlights and ten-foot-high letters spelling out I LOVE ELLIE. “I mean, I’ll go with you.”
“Great,” Ellie said. “Josh?”
“Sure. I’ll never turn down a cheap drink.” His dimple made a quick appearance. “You in, Red?”
I hesitated. I had to study for finals and pack for my upcoming move, but I could use a de-stresser. “Sure, why not?”
No one else at the clinic could join us, so half an hour later, it was just the four of us who crowded around a table at The Black Fox, nursing watered down but insanely cheap drinks.