“You’re exaggerating, and I didn’t go through them. I made my intentions clear from the start. I wasn’t interested in a committed relationship, and they all knew it before we did anything.” He slid a glance in my direction. “You understand.”
I did. Our approach to sex and relationships was one of the few things we had in common. Like Josh, I’d never been interested in long-term dating. There were too many goals to reach, too much of the world to see, and too much of life to live without being tied down to one person.
Besides, after my only experience with a serious relationship, I wasn’t in any hurry to jump into another one.
“You want to attend law school?” Max grimaced. “Why?”
“I think I’d make a good lawyer.” I twisted the hem of my shirt around my finger. It was a new piece I’d bought with my allowance from Alastair, my stepfather. After years of threadbare clothing, I couldn’t stop touching it to make sure it was real, that I was really wearing a designer shirt that cost more than my old monthly budget for food. “It pays well if I go into corporate law, and I can help—”
A loud laugh cut me off. “Oh, come on, Jules.”
“What?” My brow creased with confusion and a touch of hurt.
“You’re so cute.” He gave me an indulgent smile, like I was a child who announced I would be running for president. But let’s be real, babe, you don’t want to be a lawyer.”
I twisted my shirt harder around my finger. “I’m serious.”
“Then be serious.” Max ran his hand over my shoulder and rubbed my arm soothingly before he squeezed my breast, his eyes taking on a familiar lusty gleam. “You’re way too hot to be stuck in some musty courtroom all day. You should be a model. Capitalize on that face and body. Not everyone is lucky enough to be born with your looks.”
I forced a smile. Yes, I’d been blessed with above average looks, but I didn’t feel lucky. Not when that was the only thing people saw when they looked at me, and not when my own mother viewed me as competition instead of family.
But maybe Max was right. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. What made me think I could be a lawyer? I did well in my classes, but there was a difference between getting a 4.0 at a small high school in Ohio and succeeding at a top-tier law school.
“Come on. Enough boring talk.” Max’s breath roughened as he popped open the buttons of my shirt. “I can think of something better we can do with our mouths…”
A sour taste filled my mouth. I’d been so young and naive. I wasn’t the same person I’d been at seventeen, but sometimes, the whispers from my past reasserted themselves, making me question everything I’d achieved and strived for.
Max’s recent texts didn’t help, either. He was like the ex that wouldn’t die. Figuratively, not literally.
The alcohol-induced buzz in my head grew louder. Maybe I should call him to see what he wanted. Then I could put him behind me once and—
“Jules!”
Josh’s panicked shout pierced my ear at the same time squealing tires screeched through the night. I lifted my head, my eyes widening at the sight of headlights barreling toward me.
I’d been so caught up in my thoughts I’d wandered into the middle of the street without looking.
Move! my brain screamed, but my body wouldn’t obey. I just stood there, frozen, until an iron grip closed around my arm and yanked me back onto the sidewalk a millisecond before a truck sped past, horn blaring.
Momentum took over and my face collided with Josh’s chest. It was like slamming into a brick wall. The force of the action, combined with the spike of adrenaline from my brush with death, robbed me of words and breath. All I could do was stand there, face pressed against Josh’s torso, while he engulfed me in a tight embrace.
“Are you okay?” His heart thundered beneath my cheek.
“I’m fine,” I said hoarsely, too stunned to form a better response.
I raised my head and gulped when I saw his expression. Concern lined his brow, but his eyes blazed and a vein visibly pulsed in his temple.
“Good.” His arms tightened around me until I lost my breath all over again. “Now what the hell were you thinking, walking out into the middle of the street like that?” His low voice vibrated with anger. “You almost got killed!”
“I…” I didn’t have a good answer.
What was I supposed to say? I was too caught up in memories of my shitty ex to pay attention to where I was going?
I had a feeling that wouldn’t fly.
God, if Max was the last person I thought of before I died, I would be pissed.
“I called your name twice and you didn’t even react.” The pale glow from the streetlights slashed across Josh’s face, throwing his razor-sharp cheekbones and the hard, chiseled line of his jaw into sharp relief. “What the fuck happened?”
“Nothing. I just got distracted.” Technically true. Still, my stomach twisted at what would’ve happened had Josh not been there.
“Thank you for saving me, though I’m surprised you did.” I attempted to lighten the tension blanketing the air. “I thought you’d be more liable to push me into traffic than save me from it.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s kind of funny.”
“Not. Funny,” Josh repeated. He bit out each word like it was a bitter pill. “Do you think death is funny? Do you think it’s fun for me to watch someone almost die?”
My smile waned. “No,” I said softly.
I had a feeling we weren’t talking about me anymore.
As an ER doctor, he worked closer with life and death than anyone else I knew. I couldn’t imagine the things he saw at the hospital, the calls he had to make and the people he couldn’t save. But he was so sarcastic and light-hearted all the time I’d never thought about how it affected him.
Josh released me and stepped back, his expression like granite.
“I’m walking you home,” he said flatly. “Who knows what trouble you’ll stumble into if I left you alone?”
We were only two blocks away, so I didn’t bother protesting. I knew when to pick my battles.
We walked in silence to my house, which was dark when we arrived. Stella was probably still at the office or at an event. Between the magazine and her blog, she basically worked two jobs.
I stepped onto the porch and fished my keys out of my bag with a shaking hand. “You’ve delivered me home safe and sound. Five stars for service, two stars for conversation,” I quipped, inserting the key into the lock. “I’d give you one star on the latter, but since you saved my life, I’m being generous.”
Perhaps I should’ve been more serious, considering Josh’s mood, but when in doubt, I defaulted to sarcasm. I couldn’t help it.
A muscle pulsed in his jaw. “Is everything a joke to you, or are you really that oblivious?” he demanded. “You got into Thayer Law, so I assume you have some awareness of the world around you. So stop with the fucking act, Red. It’s a play no one wants to see.”
My spine hardened into iron. I recognized that tone of voice. It was the same tone he’d used when he told Ava to stop being friends with me. The same one he always used when he saw me doing something he considered a bad influence, like I wasn’t good enough for him or his friends.