“Cool. Thanks, Logan.”
“I’ll catch you later,” he says, and I appreciate the space. Besides, I came on this vacation to spend time with my sister too.
“He’s persistent,” Alessa says when he’s out of earshot. She’s cocking her right brow.
“We are just having fun. We are both on the same page,” I explain.
“Good. That’s exactly what you need,” Alessa replies and she’s right. Easy, no strings attached fun is exactly what I need.
NINE
Logan
Declan gets dressed in his white linen shirt and off-white pants.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married,” I say to him as we both get ready in his hotel suite. Poppy went to get ready in Rebel’s suite, since last night she didn’t sleep here because of some pre-wedding ritual of not seeing the bride before the wedding.
“Tell me about it,” he answers with a wide smile. “I’ve waited a long time to marry that girl.”
“I know you have. I’m so happy for you.”
He and Poppy have decided to have Westfall as their home base for now, but there has been talk of them moving to New York City.
I head over to the bed where I have my own shirt and slacks. My shirt is off-white and the pants are a darker beige, which are the colors Poppy chose for the wedding party.
“Is everything good with you?” he asks, watching me carefully.
“Bro, this is your day,” I chuckle.
“Yeah, but I mean you’ve never mentioned a girl. I mean like a girlfriend. I know it isn’t something we’ve really discussed I just. . .” Declan is fumbling over his words, which is kind of funny to see.
“I’m fine,” I assure.
“Are you though? I mean. . . do you hook up with girls back in Westfall? I know shit can get crazy with all the chicks throwing themselves at you. We never spoke about that or. . .” He looks off to the side. “You know our shitty situation with Mom.”
“And you’re choosing an hour before your wedding to have this convo?” I say sardonically.
“I feel good about marrying Poppy. I’m not nervous. I feel more like relief it’s actually happening,” he says.
I give his shoulder a squeeze. “She is really great. I’m happy to be getting a sister like her.”
“Thanks, Bro,” he says, and I see the pride shine through his smile. “But I worry about you. I keep throwing things out there about chicks and stuff, and you haven’t said anything to let me know where you’re at. Like are you and that girl from breakfast getting hot and heavy?”
I blow out a breath. “I don’t know why you’re worried.”
“Because the only time we’ve spent time together lately was over holidays when it’s just us friends. I haven’t seen you in a different element until now.”
“And?” I ask, because I don’t know where he’s going with this. If Noah said something to him, I’m going to metaphorically wring his neck.
“The way Mom behaved I’m sure left an imprint on you. It did on me,” he says. His words throw me off. We’ve never had this conversation before. “Don’t look so shocked. I’m always going to be here for you, but I need to know you’re good. Today more than ever.”
His words hit me hard. I walk over to a chair and fall back on it. “Honestly, Bro, Mom’s behavior screwed with my head. All those men coming over. Her crying when it didn’t work out after they’d been together for two seconds,” I scoff.
Declan watches me carefully with heavy eyes, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers.
“It was hard,” he states. “When I started Westfall, I went a little crazy with hooking up, but I didn’t like how doing it left me feeling. So I stopped hooking up altogether until I met Poppy. She was real and we just clicked, and with her it didn’t feel meaningless or dirty,” he says. “It felt like love.”
I allow his words to really penetrate and then I take a deep breath and lean my elbows on my knees. I squeeze the bridge of my nose, keeping my eyes shut, because I don’t want to see the look on his face when I tell him what I am about to say. I don’t know why I never spoke to him about relationships before, but now it kind of feels like I need to, for his sake and mine.
“Between dealing with being sick and playing hockey, I never allowed myself to hook up with girls. I think also it was because Mom’s behavior disgusted me on some level,” I confess, and it’s the truth. Something about her behavior never sat well with me, but it also made me view sex in a dirty way instead of a loving way.
“Shit, Logan, I’m sorry we didn’t have this conversation before,” he apologizes.
“I honestly spoke to a therapist when I first started at Westfall. They helped me to see sex isn’t a bad thing. That with the right person it can be loving. Problem is, I never met anyone who captured my attention. The girls at school just want a quick and easy good time, and I wasn’t up for it.”
“Are you telling me you’re a virgin?” Declan asks, and then he takes a seat in the chair next to me.
I nod silently.
“Damn. I was abstinent for a while after I went on crazy sex binges, but. . .”
“Okay, listen, I get it’s weird to be in my position and still be a virgin, but I need you to know I’m okay now. Talking to the therapist at school really helped. I just wanted to find the right girl.”
“And is the girl from breakfast the right girl?” he asks, watching me carefully.
“She has me intrigued. I feel very attracted to her. Problem is, some douchebag hurt her and now she isn’t looking for anything serious,” I explain.
“But you said she’s coming with her sister to the wedding,” Declan says.
“Yeah, she said she would, but I presented it to her in an easygoing way. Just some fun with friends, even though I’m hoping to take her back to my room tonight,” I admit and bite my lip. “I’m just a little freaked out she’ll know I’ve never had sex before. I want to come across as experienced.”
“Okay, dude, I know this is going to sound weird, but I am going to walk you through the moves and tell you exactly what to do,” Declan says.
I give my brother a WTF look.
“I’m serious, Logan. I could tell at breakfast you like her. I saw it in your eyes. Now shut up and listen to me,” he orders. Just like that, Declan gives me advice on how to romance her, starting with foreplay, which is champagne and strawberries I should order up to my room for later. He then moves into small talk and different kinds of foreplay, which covers all the erogenous zones on a female. He ends with hitting it home and how to thrust inside her. When he gets to that part, I find my cheeks flushing because it’s a weird conversation to be having with your older brother.
“Okay, now we need to be downstairs in half an hour. I’m covered. Can we get you hitched?” I laugh, smacking him on the back.
Declan reaches out and wraps his arms around me, but it isn’t a normal hug. It’s tight and filled with emotion. “Let’s do this,” he says, and he pulls away and claps me on the chest. A moment later, there’s a knock on the door. All the guys walk in dressed and ready. Coach has Finn in a stroller all decked out in the wedding colors, and Wolfe has Liam in a similar outfit.