After dinner, we head up the elevators together.
“See you in thirty,” Luna says as we exit the elevator.
I nod. “Nice to meet you both.” Since I’m the RA I have to be polite and cordial.
They wave and smile and I head back to my dorm room. Starting in a new place isn’t easy, but Westfall doesn’t seem so bad.
SIXTEEN
Liliana
Answer the phone, Alessa. Come on. I pace my small room back and forth like a trapped animal.
“Hello,” my sister’s cheerful voice fills my ears.
“Alessa, thank goodness,” I huff, still pacing.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” My voice is shrill.
“Lili,” Alessa finally says in a reprimanding tone. “What is going on?”
“I just had my first official RA meeting for the floor. I met everyone and . . .” I can’t even bring myself to say the words.
“What, for crying out loud? You’re freaking me out,” Alessa practically cries.
“You remember the girl Logan introduced us to the first day when we had our suitcases mixed up? Her name was Cait she was with that tall guy, Noah,” I say as the panic rolls through me wave after wave.
“Yesss,” Alessa says slowly, emphasizing the last letter.
“She was in my RA meeting. She remembered me. I felt like a train wreck. I couldn’t ask her if Logan goes to school here, but my gut tells me he fucking goes to school here. What kind of twisted turn of fate is this? Does the universe hate me?” My heart beats rapidly as anxiety pumps through my veins.
I wait for my sister to give me some advice. Some of her sound, responsible opinions about what I should do about this messed-up scenario.
“Alessa,” I practically screech since I’m met with radio silence.
“He’s one of Papa’s guys,” she says like it’s a confession. Her words are fast and full of regret, and yet I need to repeat them numerous times to understand exactly what she means.
“What the. . .”
“This isn’t a big deal, Lili. It’s going to be fine,” she begins to spit out.
“I’m very confused. How the hell do you know he’s one of Papa’s guys?”
“Nigel recognized everyone at the wedding. They’re all famous hockey players. You didn’t want to know anything about Logan so. . .”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” I shout as sweat pops on my forehead.
“This isn’t a big deal. You said it yourself. Whatever you had with Logan was over. Left behind in Hawaii,” she reminds me of my idiotic words. I may have left him behind in Hawaii but the memories of what he did to my body? Those I live through every day, remembering his scent, his touch, his large. . . I give my head a shake.
“This is awful. I’m working the team’s PR. You knew this. Did you think maybe it would have been a good idea to tell me who he was? I mean, there are rules. I am not allowed to have a personal relationship with any of the players. I could get fired before I even start. OMG, we won’t be able to pay my school bills. I won’t get my degree.”
“Will you just take a breath and stop talking? Your employment starts this week. Whatever you had with Logan is over. Just make sure he doesn’t spill anything to anyone about what happened over there, and you’ll be fine,” Alessa states, as if that is a simple thing.
“Are you crazy? I . . . I . . . we had sex numerous times. Do you know how uncomfortable this is going to be? And what if Papa finds out? He’s disappointed in me as it is.” He won’t admit his disappointment, but I read it in his demeanor. Tristan cheating sucked, but it was a punch I should’ve been strong enough to take. Papa trains world-class hockey players. He doesn’t take shit and he ensures they are tough enough to make it in the NHL, which is a rough place to be. Those guys fight like hell on the ice. Only the strong survive. I was supposed to be his number-one player until I got knocked off my horse because my heart broke.
“He isn’t disappointed. You know how it is. He wants us to be tough, but we aren’t one of his players. It’s okay to be human, to hurt,” she comforts.
“Not for Papa,” I whisper. “If he finds out I slept with Logan, he is going to flip. And what will he do to Logan if he finds out? Logan has a lot riding on the line. That much I know.”
“Logan is drafting to the NHL in a matter of months,” Alessa says. “He spoke to Nigel about it.”
“I feel like such an idiot.” I fall back on my bed.
“Why? You said you didn’t want details about him. I respected your wishes, but I didn’t want to burst your bubble. You were smiling and opening up to him. After watching you the past year. . .I was worried about you.” She lets out a breath.
“I know.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I was worried about me too. “There’s a meeting tomorrow morning, what do I do?”
“You act professional. You go in and do your job. And you act like you’ve never seen Logan before. Papa would flip if he thought you slept with one of his guys, and that wouldn’t be fair to Logan either.”
“You’re right,” I say quietly as the sting of tears burns my eyes.
“Just take some slow breaths. You’ll be fine. Logan is graduating in like four months, and then you really won’t have to see him again,” she says.
“Yeah,” I agree and my voice cracks.
“Get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow. New job. New school,” Alessa advises with excitement.
I agree and say bye. After I end the call, I burst into tears, hating myself for feeling so weak. This is no big deal. I can handle seeing him again. This will be okay. Only I don’t believe that, lie and I toss and turn the whole night. When I wake the next morning, I’m tired, anxious and this day is just going to be a shit show.
SEVENTEEN
Logan
First day back on the ice feels good. Coach worked us hard this morning. Now we have to meet in the media room to go over plays and meet the team’s new public relations rep. The last guy who had the position didn’t do his job, and I am personally terrible with posting my own things. I like my life to be private, but in the position I’m in that’s impossible. Even Coach warned me if I don’t amp up my social media, I’m not going to get the contract I want. People need to see me, who I am, what I’m about. I hate every minute of it.
I hit the shower and then get dressed. Noah walks up to me.
“What’s up, Russo?” he asks and he’s looking at me weird.
“Not much.” I shrug. We flew back from Hawaii together and spent Christmas and New Year’s at Cole and Holland’s place, so it isn’t like we haven’t seen each other.
He cocks a brow, watching me weirdly.
“What the heck is wrong with you?” I ask him.
His brows furrow like he’s contemplating something and then he just shrugs. “Nothing, bro. I don’t know. I’m just beat.” He claps me on the chest, and we head out of the locker room and walk over to the media room. I take a seat on one of the love seats and wait until all the other players arrive. Coach Ramirez walks in with a girl by his side, and I blink twice.