The walls cinched down on me, strangling air from my lungs. Stay strong. Think of Theo.
Chloe went on about my schedule as perspiration glided down the back of my neck, stirring me in the chair. My own family, the people here, everyone was trying to control my life and every choice of words from my mouth, ripping my voice away.
“I have to go.” The sentiment popped off my tongue before I even realized it as I rose from the chair.
“Spencer?” I heard Chloe call after me, my legs already taking me out of the room and down the hall. I had no direction or care, I just ran, my only desire to get out of this cage and feel the fresh breeze on my face.
Weaving and dodging through staff, I moved along several corridors, down the stairs, and out a door, bursting through into a gray day. Sucking deeply, I gulped in air as if I had been strangled, desperate to breathe. The air was still slightly warm, the clouds keeping it in like another cage locking around me.
My new shoes were kicked out in front of me as I moved across the garden, the stone wall dimming the voices, honks, and rumbles of cars, life on the other side of the barrier. They all wanted so badly to see over the wall, to be part of this world, when all I wanted was out. Funny how so many saw this as the ideal life. They didn’t see that you may have privileges, but no freedoms—no bad days, no nights you could just stay home and watch the telly, drink in a pub with a friend, or wear sweats and your hair in a messy ponytail.
Darting farther into the private gardens, I longed to get lost in the wildness of nature. But even here, nothing was out of place. Everything was perfect and tamed.
Reaching a pond, I came to a pause at a bench, watching a few koi fish breach the surface, their lips nipping in hopes of food. I was entranced by their colors and movements, circling around and around. Trapped.
With a sigh, I dropped on the bench. None of this was completely out of the blue. I understood what being with Theo meant. Still, the panic bubbled to the surface. They were striping every bit of my personality, trying to mold me into another coiffed model of perfection.
A few birds chirped, the noise of the city rolling softly through the trees, and I inhaled, letting my shoulders drop back down. It was then that I felt it. The back of my neck prickled with the sensation that someone was watching me. I curved my head to peer over my shoulder.
“Great.” I frowned at the figure behind me.
Lennox stood there, his scruffy jaw rolling back and forth, his expression twisted up with annoyance.
“What do you want?”
“Just doing my job, my lady.” His voice was empty of any emotion.
“I’m on the grounds. I doubt you have to watch me here.”
“Always.” He kept his arms behind his back, his gaze staring out past me. “Once you get out of bed, I am on duty.”
“And you sound so thrilled about that.” I shifted back around, staring at the fish.
“No. I’m not.”
His answer yanked my head back around again, the brutal honesty making me laugh for the first time today.
“You are not any happier about it than I am.” He shifted on his feet, still not looking at me.
“You’re right.” The truth felt like silk gliding over tender skin. “I wish I could say it wasn’t personal that I don’t want anyone, but I think we’d both know it’s a lie. I don’t like you at all.”
The ghost of amusement wobbled his lips, the first sign of a personality that I’d seen. Not that I believed he had one. “The feeling is mutual, my lady.”
“Wow,” I snorted, standing up and turning to him. “You really are new.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because no staff, bodyguard, or private secretary would ever talk to their boss that way. Especially in the royal house.” I folded my arms. “You are willing to risk your job?”
“You’d fire me for being truthful?” His hazel eyes slid to mine. “Tells me all I need to know about your character.”
“Screw you.” I ground my teeth. “Your honesty was not asked for, nor do I believe you’d really have my back if the time came.”
“I do my duty. Whether it’s your arse or the prince’s.” He dropped his arms, clasping them in front of him. “My reputation sort of counts on your survival. I let you die, the chances of someone hiring me again diminish severely.”
A burst of dry laughter shot from my mouth. I was surprised he was so frank with me. Rubbing my temple, exhaustion quickly engulfed me, my bones still aching from the night before, the bruises under my concealer throbbing.
“Anyway, thank you for not letting me die last night.” I leaned back on my heel. “I appreciate it.”
His attention flicked to the side, highlighting his strong jaw.
No answer.
Irritation climbed up my back like vines.
“You don’t need to watch me here. I’m fine.” My head turned the opposite way. “You can go.”
His head jerked back, his shoulders rising.
“I don’t take orders from you. I’m not your maid.” His hazel-blue eyes glinted with fire, his hands clasping harder around each other. “I work for His Majesty. He is the one I listen to. Not you.”
“Excuse me?” My mouth parted; a spark of my uncle’s pride pushed up my chin. The deep insecurity we held at being so low on the nobility list reared inside me. We were still nobles.
“And I’m not your charge. I am your…”
“What?” His lids narrowed, a sneer lifting his lip.
“Nothing.”
“No, please. Continue.” He raised his eyebrows. “Superior, perhaps? Above my lowly status?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t need to.” His gaze challenged me. “I am fully aware of my rank here. But I am employed by the King of Victoria. If you want to challenge that and start paying me, I will gladly step aside.”
“What is your problem?” I snapped.
“You will have to narrow it down.”
“Fine. With me. What is your problem with me?”
“Personally, I have no problem with you. You are just a job.”
“Bullshite,” I responded, feeling the heat crawl up my face from challenging the intimidating man before me. “From the moment I met you, you’ve acted like you hated me.”
“I don’t feel enough about you to hate you.”
Embarrassment and hurt punched me in the gut. A retaliation grew in my chest, my mouth opening to hit back.
“Spencer!” Theo’s voice broke my glare on my new bodyguard, landing on the familiar figure jogging for me from the house. Instantly, my heart fluttered with happiness, filling with relief. His smile lightened my mood, a smile growing on my face at seeing the boy who made all this bearable.
You really have the best catch anyway. Hazel’s sentiment wrapped around me like a reassuring hug.
He was so worth this.
He smiled at Lennox, wrapping one arm around me, pulling me in to kiss my temple.
“Hey, luv.” Theo’s posh accent swaddled the term. I would have hated anyone else calling me that, but he seemed to make it work.
“Hey.” I grinned up at him.
“A maid told me she saw you running out here. You all right?” The concern in his eyes had me forcing down my fear, nodding my head.