My gaze slid to my door, feeling apprehension fizz under the layers of excuses. The truth of what was really unsettling me.
I could feel him.
His own room couldn’t contain his presence, so it pushed him through the cracks into mine.
I hated it. Ignorance was bliss, and I liked it when I didn’t know his room was so close to mine. When he was an arsehole bodyguard, not a person.
Lounging in the big reclining chairs, we had watched an action movie, finishing the pizza and beer with very little talking. It had been the most relaxed and tense I had ever felt at once. Highly aware of him next to me, his arm brushing mine when he grabbed his beer.
Spencer, stop. I pushed myself up against my headboard, chiding myself. It was innocent. We watched a movie. Stop feeling guilty for nothing. Theo wouldn’t think anything of it. So why are you?
Breathing out, my shoulders relaxed, brushing the silly emotions aside. I was being ridiculous. Though my need to hear Theo’s voice, to have him home, hummed over my nerves, having me reach for my mobile.
My lids narrowed, noticing the empty space on the nightstand. Where the hell was my cell phone? I swung my legs over the side, my mind rolling back to where I left it.
Right. Lennox had it.
Wow. I hadn’t thought of it once since he took it.
Not. Once.
A nerve twitched my eye as I hurriedly took a shower and got dressed, picking designer jeans, a crew-neck sweater, and pristine boots. The clothes were nice, but not me. Too proper. Confining. I really needed to go shopping… and get my own place. I had to stay strong, not let them take my personality.
I reached for the door, swinging it open.
“Holy crap!” I yelped, jumping back.
Lennox stood on the other side, his hand raised as if he was just about to knock. He was dressed similarly to the day before, his hair wet from the shower, the smell of clean but woodsy soap curling over me, flicking my pulse. His eyes seemed to glow even brighter than I remembered, his scruff a little thicker.
“You scared me.” I shook my head, my fingers gripping the door handle, my eyes snapping away from him.
“Then my to-do list is already done.” His voice was low and husky, like these were the first words he had spoken today. A slow smirk lifted his cheek on one side.
“That’s all you had on your list?” I clicked my tongue, trying to stamp out the shivers gliding over my body, turning flippant. “Quite disappointing. I imagined you to have torture, ridicule, and blatantly drive Spencer mad on your list.”
“Those are my life goals.”
“Doing good so far.” I peered up at him, a flutter obstructing my throat at the intensity of his attention. He was like celebrity/model-level hot, that was why I reacted to him like this. Perfectly normal.
“Was wondering if you wanted to go riding again this morning. You have nothing on your calendar until your etiquette lessons later this afternoon.”
A calmness at the mention of horses eased all the tension locking my muscles. Horses were my happy place. Safe.
“That sounds perfect.” I opened my door wider, stepping back. “Let me grab my jacket.”
He stepped in, his gaze touching over the room.
“Sleep okay?”
“Yeah,” I automatically responded, snatching a jacket from the closet.
“Really?” He chuckled, nodding behind me. Curving to follow his gaze, I saw my bed was a disheveled mess. “Looks like either a lot of fun was going on or you fought with your bed.”
A warmth filled my cheeks, my head shaking. “Unfortunately, the latter.”
“So, you’re already starting off your day lying to me?”
A mischievous smile hinted on my mouth. “It’s on my to-do list.”
He snickered, rubbing his forehead, creating a huge grin on my face.
“I already have your riding boots in the car, Duchess.” He grinned back.
“You know I’m not a duchess.”
“You will be soon,” he responded. The air strained for a moment before he spoke again. “Better be nice to me, or I’m going to make sure Katy gives you the slowest, oldest horse in the stables.”
“Now I see why you’re eager to go back again so quickly.” I wiggled my eyebrows as I pulled on my coat, grabbing my bag. “More than one filly you want to ride.”
He snorted, pushing me playfully out the door. “Come on.”
I laughed, but a spike of irritation stabbed my neck when he didn’t deny it. What if that was the reason he wanted to go again? Not being nice, but wanting to take Katy up on her offer?
“I totally nailed it, didn’t I?” I nudged his shoulder with my own, his gaze snapping down on me. Heat bloomed up into my face, once again realizing what I said. Everything I said around him sounded sexual. “You like Katy.”
“Here, let me take that.” He ignored my insinuation, reaching for my bag as we strolled down the hallway. “You probably want this back too.” He took the bag out of my hands, switching it for my mobile.
“Oh yeah. Thanks.” I nodded, staring down at the screen filled with messages and notifications, suddenly wanting to chuck it out the window. “I actually forgot you had it.”
He muttered something so low I couldn’t hear it, drawing up my quizzical glance.
“Coffee first?” Lennox cut us toward the kitchen, not looking at me.
“Was that seriously a question?”
“No.” He chuckled. “Though, the fact you aren’t a tea person should have taken you out of the running to be the future queen here.”
“Wow. Harsh,” I hissed through my teeth, grinning.
“Though true.” He winked at me, going to the coffee maker already filled with fresh coffee, the tea set out next to it. He grabbed a packet of tea, pouring hot water from the kettle on the stove into a cup, adding milk.
I went straight for the coffee maker, our shoulders brushing.
“I know, but it’s something that reminds me of being forced to sit, smile, and be that posh little girl who wore pretty dresses and didn’t speak unless spoken to. Wearing little white gloves, eating tiny sandwiches, back straight, forced to be genteel and docile, when all I wanted to do was be outside riding my horses through the mud, playing with the dogs, or saving every animal I found in the woods. Tea is the taste of my cage.”
He leaned against the counter, cup in hand, his head dipping in understanding.
“Tea, for me, is when everything was simple. My childhood with my mom. Strip all the bullshite away, and I feel peace for a moment.” He licked his lips, staring into the milky liquid. “It got me through many times in the military. Days when the only way to keep going was to split off from reality.”
Admiration hiccupped up my throat. “You were in a war?”
He nodded.
“My first time, I was shipped overseas. For many years, my troop was in the heart of it. Fuck. What we saw… did…” He swallowed, his gaze darting off in front of him, his lids blinking. “When I came back, I transferred to the Royal Air Force, where I met Theo.”
“You needed to distance yourself.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” His jaw twitched. “How you talk about tea was how I felt about being boots on the ground. Trapped. Flying felt freeing.”