Her bodyguard sighed. “Some people, usually warlocks and sorcerers, but occasionally normal people too, learn to project their spirits outside of their bodies. I was trained to spot such things. William is here now, listening to us.”
“Why haven’t I heard about this before?” asked Laina.
“Because your people are stupid,” snapped Darla. “And also, those who learn the secret usually keep it to themselves.”
Laina didn’t seem convinced. “You’re just making things up now.”
The former assassin didn’t take that well. “Have I ever lied to you before?” she demanded.
“No…”
“Then do not accuse me of it now. He’s here! If you wish, you can try and talk to him.”
That got Laina’s full attention. “How?”
“Touch him. If your hearts are in sync then your spirits can touch,” said the Arkeshi.
Laina’s nose wrinkled again. “You do it.”
Exasperated, Darla moved closer to Will, then moved her hand back and forth through the area he occupied. He felt nothing. “I cannot,” said Darla. “His bond is not with me.”
“That’s just revolting. There’s no bond between us.”
“You just admitted he is your brother,” Darla pointed out. Will found himself nodding in agreement, Yeah. The Arkeshi continued, “He could not be here otherwise. He has anchored himself to you.”
“Now you’re giving me the creeps,” said Laina.
Darla sighed. “Fine. Let’s return to the school. William’s friend is there. We should at least wake him and tell him what has happened.”
“Wait, what about—all that?” Laina waved her hand mysteriously at the air near where Will was located.
The Arkeshi shrugged. “If you do not care then we can ignore him. Eventually his spirit will wither and die or return to its body. He’s no longer our concern.”
Laina didn’t move. Rubbing her face with her hands, she stared in Will’s general direction. “Where is he?” she asked.
“A little to your left and three feet forward,” said Darla.
His half-sister moved according to her bodyguard’s instructions. “I just reach out? Oh!” She jumped back as her hand touched the space where Will was. He wasn’t sure what she had felt, but he had experienced an electric tingle that ran through his phantom body. “That was him, wasn’t it?” asked Laina.
“Yes. Try not to flinch away next time,” advised her friend.
Laina nodded, then moved closer, holding her arms out. Will focused his attention on her, moving himself forward, and then they collided, sending shivers through his astral form and causing his sister to shudder, but she didn’t retreat. It was then that he realized how cold he was.
The astral space he inhabited was home to a deathly chill, and now that he had touched Laina, he could feel the living warmth that radiated from her skin. It was vitality, sustenance. It maintained her soul, nurtured her spirit. Without it, any spirit being would eventually starve and wither.
“Can you hear me?” she asked.
Yes, he replied, trying to project his thoughts through their superficial contact.
Laina frowned, then glanced back at Darla. “I felt something. I think he’s trying to talk, but it’s just a buzz.”
The Arkeshi shrugged. “This is the limit of my knowledge. I have never interacted with a spirit form.”
Laina stared through him again, failing to focus her eyes on the place where he stood. “Try to get closer,” she suggested.
We’re already skin-to-skin, thought Will. We can’t get any closer. He pressed forward, feeling a springy resistance as the boundary of her flesh rejected him.
“He’s trying,” said Darla. “But there’s a wall around you. Try to be less negative.”
“I’m not negative!” Laina bit back, but her friend gave her a look of obvious disbelief. “I just don’t like him,” she added.
“The bodysnatcher was wicked, but there was some truth in his words,” posited the Arkeshi. “You are dishonest with your emotions.”
Laina bit her lip, but she didn’t argue. Facing Will again, she opened her arms, and her expression changed. The perpetual glare faded and something more vulnerable appeared. “I’m open,” she said hesitantly. “Let me help you.”
At that point Will was a foot or two distant, but the look in her eyes drew him in, as though a channel had opened. He felt a rushing sensation, and then the world dissolved into a chaotic riot of sensations. Laina was gone, and when he looked around, he saw that only he and Darla remained. “What?” he muttered.
But it wasn’t his voice. It was distinctly feminine. His eyes widened in alarm, and then he felt her. She was inside him. Will? she asked nervously.
He closed his eyes—her eyes. Laina? As the name formed, he felt the connection between them. They weren’t two souls in one body; they were one oversized soul in a single body. The boundaries between them had vanished, and their thoughts and emotions were rushing back and forth, like waves on a beach. As her name crossed his mind, so too did all the emotions he felt regarding her—anger, annoyance, concern, worry, and behind it all, a fearful love that he was always afraid to admit.
And she was much the same. Her anger was greater, and when her thoughts turned to him, he felt her self-loathing. Laina hated him with the passion of her own self-loathing, and behind that was a similar tentative love, mixed with pity and compassion. Drowning everything else, was an ocean of guilt.
Will began to cry as he felt it all, especially the guilt.
Laina had known all along, since she was a child. She had always been intelligent, and even as a girl she had quickly deduced the reason her father went to visit the remote village of Barrowden, and who the dirt-smudged peasant boy that lived there must be. She had known, and she had hated him—and pitied him. Laina had loved her family, and when she looked at the peasant child in Barrowden, she had felt guilt, for she knew she possessed a treasure he could never have.
She had known, and she had buried the feeling behind a wall of guilt so high she couldn’t even fathom its meaning. It was invisible to her. Every flaw she had found in herself, in her father, in her mother, and even in Tabitha, she pushed into that dark place, heaping it full of her rejection and scorn.
And while Will found himself inundated by that river of sorrow, Laina experienced his own heart. His pain and sense of rejection, his desire for love and belonging, feelings he could never give voice to in the light of day. He had felt continually unworthy, an outsider begging for things that he didn’t deserve.