Prena grunted and her face contorted into a snarl.
"I know," the man continued. "But Loran is an ally and I respect his requests where I can. But then you returned to Terrelan and attacked my soldiers. Well, Loran's protection only extends so far, I'm afraid. I'm quite glad you came back, though. I've been wanting to get you down here for quite some time."
It dawned on me then, my mind working slowly, who I was talking to. Well, the talking part was over for me. I had just about enough strength left to push onto my knees and swing my stone fist at the Terrelan Emperor. I knew it wouldn't kill him. Finally, I was face to face with the man I had so long ago sworn to see dead, yet I was at his mercy. I couldn't kill him, but if I could just land a punch… if I could just hurt him, even for a moment, even if all I left him with was a stinging bruise, it would be worth it! The fucking bastard had me, but I could still teach him fear.
A boot connected with my face and I sprawled back on the floor of my cell, blood in my mouth and agony in my face to go along with the incessant pain in my chest. Prena had been waiting for me to make a move, waiting for the opportunity to put me in my place.
I'm ashamed to say I was spent. I curled into ball and moaned from the pain, unable to summon even the energy to drag myself away from two next boots Prena lashed out with. The only consolation I can drag from that kicking is that it hurt her too. Whatever damage the Iron Legion had done to Prena up on Do'shan, it left her with a limp and a weak left leg. Small victories. It's important to look favourably on even the smallest of victories when in the position I was down there. Anything you can cling to to keep you going. To keep the misery and despair from crushing you out of existence.
"That's enough," said Emperor Aras Terrelan in a voice thick with command. Prena obeyed without hesitation and took a step back, certain I would be causing no more trouble, that I was past any point of resistance. She was right. I had no resistance left in me, no strength for anything but a mewling crawl into the corner of my cell. But there was light, and where there was light there was shadow.
"Help me," I whispered the words, but I needn't have said them at all. Ssserakis didn't answer. I could barely even feel the horror inside save for the icy pit in my stomach. It had abandoned me. When I needed it most, Ssserakis abandoned me to my enemies.
"Begging already?" the Emperor scoffed. "I had hoped for a bit more resistance out of you." He rubbed his hands together, staring down at me with hungry eyes.
"I want to share something with you, Eskara." The Emperor of Terrelan took a step forward and squatted on his haunches before me. Prena tensed, the man was within striking distance, but I could not even summon the strength to lash out at him. My left arm lay out in front of me and I could just about see the stone fingers curling into an impotent fist. "You're never leaving here. Prisoners never leave my Red Cells. But you can take the easy way out any time you choose." He glanced up at the noose hanging above us. "I hope you won't go quickly, but eventually you will choose the rope. Some people don't make it to the first day, choosing to spare themselves the pain. Others get through the first day, and then realise that worse is certain to follow. The noose starts to look quite inviting, I'm told. Occasionally we get a truly rare person down here." The man bit his lip and smiled. "They are my favourites, the ones who resist. There is something… special about being the one to snuff out the fires of their resistance."
I glanced at Prena. She looked uncomfortable, fidgeting as though the Emperor's words made her uneasy. When I looked back to the Emperor, his eyes were shining in the darkness.
"I know what I am," the Emperor continued. "And I know it should be beneath me. The pressures of running an empire are… myriad. The responsibilities are crushing. I have been Emperor for thirty-four years. I have fought and won two wars. I have sacrificed for my empire, forged new alliances, brokered trade deals with creatures I should not have to deal with." He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I am under great pressure, as any ruler is, and so I have found ways to calm myself. I know these methods should be beneath me, that they are not befitting of a man of my station. But I enjoy them. I enjoy torturing people, especially those who have set themselves against me. Those strong enough to hold out against the torture. For a while, at least.
"I believe you have that fire in you. I can see it in your eyes, the way they flash like a storm in a bottle, and the darkness in between those flashes is even more striking. You'll resist. You'll fight." He reached out a hand and stroked my cheek. I tried to jerk away from him, but my head hit the wall and bright spots danced in my vision. "But one day, I will know that bittersweet pleasure of finding you swinging from your rope, purple and bloated and broken." The Emperor drew in a ragged breath and his eyelids fluttered. "Please, hold out for as long as you can. Please."
I lunged, snapping my teeth shut in an attempt to take off a finger or two, but the Emperor was swifter than I gave him credit for and pulled his hand back. He did not strike me, nor even order Prena to do it for him. Physical brutality was not the man's way. He knew it had its uses and employed it when necessary, but his tortures went far beyond the simplicity of a beating. With a smile, the Emperor stood easily and sauntered back towards the door.
"Until tomorrow, then. Oh, the anticipation of that first scream. The cadence and pitch, the hopelessness as you realise…" His voice trailed off as he moved away down the corridor.
Prena remained, looking down at me through a stare that was either pity or disgust. Maybe it was both. I could see something else as well, an indecision. It took a monumental amount of effort for me to uncurl, and even more to make it to my knees, using my stone arm as a crutch to hold myself upright. I wanted to get to my feet, to face her, but that was beyond me.
"Use the rope," Prena said once it became clear I was not anywhere close to being on my feet. With that, she turned and walked out the door, shutting it and locking me in near darkness once more.
I looked up at the rope, the thick cords of it standing out in the scant light shining in from the other side of the door. It was the only thing in my cell that was lit, a shining, temping beacon. I'd be lying if I said the call of the void didn't make itself known then. Lesray Alderson's gift from a time so long ago it seemed a different life, a far happier life that couldn't possibly belong to me. Before the academy had turned me into a weapon, and before the war had turned me into a killer. Before the Pit had turned me into a prisoner, and Josef had made me choose between my best friend or my freedom. Before the Rand and Djinn had turned me into a pawn in a war neither side could ever win. Before Kento had turned me into a mother, and Silva had taught me how to love, and how to betray.
There was little to do down in my cell other than ruminate on my past and the decisions, and mistakes, I had made. On the friendships I made and ruined. On the people I loved, and where my leadership had led them, what it had made of them. Hardt shared my prison, I was certain of it. He was down in the Red Cells, awaiting torture, just like I was. I imagined him staring up at the rope. How much would it take before Hardt gave in? How long could he last? I wagered it would be longer than I.
My other friends soon intruded into my thoughts as well. Imiko had gotten away, I would accept no other possibility. She had run and reached the ruined city. Somehow, she'd found Tamura. They had fled to the forest and the safety of the trees. They had to have made it. They had to. Part of me hoped they'd come for me, somehow storm the gates of Juntorrow and break into the palace, before freeing me from my cell. A stupid, fanciful dream that would see my friends dead long before they reached me. A larger part of me hoped they'd stay away, embark on a life without Eskara Helsene dragging them down with her. I hoped Ishtar had made it out of Terrelan as well. She would find no hospitable welcome in the Terrelan lands, only suspicion and outright hatred. But there was no one more capable than Ishtar, and I believed she would find a way back to Polasia.