Let me out. The voice was clearer in that space, but no less quiet. I had to strain just to hear it.
"You left me alone!" I cried. I couldn't help the accusation that crept into me voice. My horror had hurt me. Abandoned me when I needed it most.
No.
I moved closer to the spot of shadow and saw a thin tendril try to reach out of the ball, only to be seared away by the light.
"You left me!" I accused again, tears rolling down my cheeks. I took another step forward and another tendril reached out only to be burned away.
You left me.
Another step closer and I was staring at the little ball of floating shadow. It looked so small and helpless in the light. Ssserakis. Lord of Sevoari. My horror. I reached out a hand, the only one I had left, and cupped it around the shadow. And everything changed.
Where before there had been light, there was only darkness. I stood at the centre of it, glowing softly, and all around I could feel fear. "Ssserakis?"
You trapped me here, Eskara! There was pain and hurt in the horror's voice.
"You left me."
No. You trapped me here to stop me from fighting back.
Ssserakis was right about that. That expanse of light had not been a hole for the horror to hide in, it had been a prison. But my horror was also wrong. I hadn't trapped it there to stop it from lashing out at my captors, but to spare it the pain of my torture. I knew it for a certainty then.
Ssserakis laughed. Not a harsh sound. There was surprise in that laughter. Shock. I am a lord of Sevoari. I have lived hundreds of your lifetimes. I am the terran incarnation of fear itself. And you walled me away to protect me? To spare me your pain.
"You feel what I feel. I realised that when I was raising the city from the ground. You tried to shield me from my own pain."
It was more than you could handle.
Fresh tears welled in my eyes. "It was my fault. My pain. My choice. You shouldn't have to feel it too."
In the darkness I couldn't see Ssserakis, but I felt my horror draw close. I felt it wrap around me. The closest thing to an embrace I had felt in so long. I needed it.
"I need your help. I can't…" The tears ran from my eyes and I shook with the violence of the sobs that hit me. "I can't fight them." That admission took a lot out of me. I have never been good at admitting to weakness, not to myself and definitely not to others. But the Emperor had broken me, and I needed help putting myself back together.
Yes, you can, Eskara. We can fight them together.
I slept then. A deep sleep unmarred by nightmares or fears. A sleep that I could lose myself in, knowing that I was being watched over and protected by someone I could trust.
I woke to the darkness of my cell, but it was different. I could see. The bare room was lit in shades of black and white, not a hint of colour. Ssserakis' sight. Dark sight. Of course, being able to see in the dark is of little use when there is nothing to see. Bare stone floor, a bucket half filled with piss, and the noose. I focused on that rope, eyes narrowing, it was lit brighter than the rest of the room, the light from outside my cell focused upon it.
You don't need it, Eskara. You never needed it.
Ssserakis was right about that. I looked upon the noose with new resolve. It was no longer a way out. It no longer called to me. It was a symbol. A symbol of what the Emperor had tried to do to me. Of what he tried to turn me into. A symbol of all the pain and suffering he had heaped upon me. Of the torture and the screams ripped from me. That noose was a symbol of how the Emperor had broken me. Some people might have raged at that, bent their new resolve against the noose and torn it down leaving shreds upon the floor. The thought occurred to me, to turn that old symbol of my broken self into a representation of my new strengthened resolve. But no. I had a far better use for it.
I stood and almost fell. More than just the weakness of months with little food and no exercise save for bracing against pain. It had taken me weeks to compensate when my arm had been turned to stone, with the extra weight it put upon me. Now it was gone, and I felt too light.
I can help. Strength flooded me. My limbs felt less leaden and I stood straighter, my head clearing a little.
"Thank you." It felt good to know Ssserakis was there once more. More than the strength my horror gave me. The company. I wasn't alone anymore.
You're missing an arm. There was surprise in Ssserakis' voice.
"The Emperor took it."
Then we'll take his head! Where are we?
"In his dungeon. The Red Cells. Below the palace."
Such a fool to keep us so close. We'll make him regret that. We will bring his palace down and crush his empire while he watches.
I didn't argue. I would happily watch the Terrelan Empire burn, along with everyone in it. I struggled to find any compassion for the people who revelled in my torture, the people who begged for my corpse. They named me the Corpse Queen, called me a monster. I would show them a monster. We would show them a monster.
"Hardt is here somewhere. I have to find him."
He is a weakness, Eskara. If not for him, we would never have been captured. You already sacrificed us once for him…
"And I will do it again if I need to. We're getting out of here, Ssserakis, but we're taking Hardt with us."
My horror was silent for a moment. This Emperor must die. You cannot hide your anger from me, Eskara, nor your pain. I can see what he did to you.
"He will pay. They all will." I looked up at the noose above me. "Cut it down." My shadow became an oily patch splayed against the far wall. It snaked upwards and sliced easily through the rope. I tied it around my waist, struggling now I only had the one arm. Trust me when I tell you that tying a knot with only one hand is a true challenge. I approached the door and looked at it in the dark sight. A slab of hard wood, banded in iron, a sturdy bolt lock. More than enough to stop a Sourcerer with no magic. But nothing against an ancient horror of fear and shadow and ice. Dark wings burst out of my back and reached over my shoulders, plunging into the wood of the door and ripping it from its hinges before tossing it away down the corridor beyond.
I was free, and I was angry.
And the world would pay!
A lantern hung opposite me, a soft yellow glow flickering within. That lantern had been my only source of light for so long, always shining upon the noose now tied around my waist. I plucked it from its hook and carried it before me. I didn't need the light to see, but it was another symbol of my incarceration.
Footsteps echoed along the corridor. "There will be many of them. Soldiers between us and the Emperor. Are you strong enough?"
Ssserakis laughed. You may have kept me trapped, but I was surrounded by fear. I gorged on it. Yours. Theirs. This place's. Can you feel it? Fear seeps from the very walls. It pools beneath us and flows around us. This place has seen more fear than you know. It is drowning in terror. There was a satisfaction in my horror's voice. It approved. I will lend you everything I have to tear down this palace and the fool who calls himself king, but what of your power?
I shook my head. "I have nothing left, Ssserakis."
You think they have stripped you of your power. They haven't. They can't. It is a part of you. They could no more take it from you, than you can give it away. Use it! Use my power and your own. We will make them pay together.