“I’ve been trying to think of how to tell you,” the handmaid said. “But then you’ve had so much stress with your ascendancy, and the lessons on the beach, and then we quarreled the other night and I — ”
“Stop, Mylla,” Tasia said, and the tears were flowing in earnest now. She covered her face with her hands. “Just stop trying to explain.”
“Tasia… My Princess…”
Footsteps, then Tasia felt the tug of familiar fingers on her hands, pulling them away from her face. “Why are you so upset with me?” Mylla asked. Her tone was gentle. “You always knew this would happen one day.”
Tasia let her eyes be uncovered and tried to stop the flow of her tears with one mighty sniff. Joslyn, she noted, had discretely slipped from the room. Into the antechamber, no doubt. Probably still able to hear every word of the conversation. But no matter. What her guard overheard was truly the least of her concerns at the moment.
“I knew it would happen, Mylla, but you’re not even of age yet. I thought we would have another half a year together. Maybe even longer.”
Mylla scoffed. “Longer? You know my father better than that, my sweet Princess. He will see to it that I am married and with child within the first week of my eighteenth birthday. I wouldn’t be surprised if he plans the wedding for my birthday itself.”
“I know,” Tasia said, swallowing. “But I thought that we… as long as you were still at the palace, you could still… we could still…” Tasia dropped her chin to her chest and covered her face again as a fresh stream of tears issued forth.
“Princess… my sweet Princess… don’t cry.” Fingers found Tasia’s wrists, gently pulled her hands from her face. “Tazy, come now…”
“I thought you might marry someone near Port Lorsin,” Tasia said between hot tears. “I thought that maybe you would stay close, not more than an hour or two’s journey from…”
Mylla’s lips found Tasia’s, as if she could kiss the words away. But the Princess stayed stiff, her mouth contorting with a barely controlled sob. Mylla didn’t give up; she continued with her kiss. Slowly Tasia melted into the girl, letting the magic of Mylla’s soft lips infuse her whole body.
“Lie with me. Just for a minute,” Mylla whispered into Tasia’s ear. The handmaid nipped at the earlobe she had just spoken into, and a wave of gooseflesh rolled down Tasia’s body.
“I thought you were going to be late to meet your father.”
“He can wait. He knows I’m always late, anyway.” Mylla guided Tasia to the bed; Tasia allowed herself to be guided. The girl nipped at Tasia’s neck and throat, both of which were bare inside the scoop-necked dress she wore. “May I take your necklace off for you, Princess?”
“Yes,” Tasia said, barely audible.
She felt Mylla’s fingers fumble with the clasp at the back of her neck, while the girl’s lips and teeth continued to travel up and down Tasia’s throat. Finally the necklace came off, and Mylla stepped away long enough to place it on Tasia’s vanity.
“May I help you out of your dress, Princess?”
Tasia nodded, and Mylla stepped behind her, pressing her breasts into Tasia as she slowly unbuttoned the back of the dress. Tasia could feel the warmth of Mylla’s breath between her shoulder blades.
“Do you remember the first time you kissed me, Myll?”
The unbuttoning down Tasia’s back stopped for a moment. “Yes. How could I forget?”
“It was the first anniversary of Nik’s death. Father didn’t even remember it. But you did, didn’t you?”
Mylla kissed Tasia’s bare shoulders. “Of course I did.” She unbuttoned the dress the rest of the way. “I missed Nikhost, too. He was my friend. We used to play together when my father brought my sisters and I to the palace when we were all little — do you remember? I chased Nik around the courtyard and tried to kiss him, because my nurse used to tell us that if we kissed the son of the Emperor, we would become an Empress.”
Tasia laughed wetly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard that story.”
“It’s true.” Mylla used Tasia’s shoulders to pull herself up onto her tiptoes, and kissed the Princess again, letting her lips linger on Tasia’s for a long, sweet moment. “Do you think,” Mylla whispered, “that if I kiss the Emperor’s daughter instead, I could still become an Empress?”
Tasia turned around, running her hands down Mylla’s sides, lacing her fingers together in the small of the girl’s back while Mylla tugged the dress open wider.
“I would like nothing more than for you to be the Empress by my side,” Tasia said. “If only Nik hadn’t died. He could be the heir instead of me. I would find a way to keep you close to me and love you always.”
Mylla kissed her again, pushed her gently onto the bed.
“I still miss him, Myll,” Tasia said. “I miss him every day.”
“I know, sweet Princess.”
“He was the only one who really understood what it’s like to… be my father’s child.”
Mylla’s mouth puckered into a slight frown. “I like to think that I understand, Tazy.”
“You are wonderful, and I love you more than anything,” Tasia said. “But you don’t understand.” She sighed, remembering her sweet younger brother. “That first time you kissed me, after Nik died, I was fifteen.”
Mylla nodded. “And I was fourteen. And couldn’t stand to see something so beautiful be so sad.”
“You were undressing me, just like you are now. And you unlaced my brazier…”
“Like this?” Mylla asked, looping a finger beneath the laces on the side and tugging them loose.
“Yes,” Tasia breathed. “And then you…”
Mylla took the brazier off, bent slightly, and caught one of Tasia’s nipples between her teeth. Tasia gasped.
The girl released the nipple, cupped Tasia’s face in her hands. “Then I did that. And this.” Mylla slid forward, kissing the Princess hard. “I have to marry him, Tasia. I can’t marry you. We both know it.”
“You could delay. As I have for you.”
Mylla shook her head. “You can’t delay forever. Sooner or later, you will have to marry, my sweet Princess. We all have to.”
Tasia pushed herself into a sitting position. “But you could still refuse him, Mylla. You don’t have to marry yet. You don’t have to — he lives all the way in the Northeast.”
Mylla cocked her head to the side. “Would you refuse him, if you were me? I’m from a minor House, Tasia. A marriage to the heir of House Farrimont — that’s more than I ever could have hoped for.”
“Is that really all you think about?” Tasia asked bitterly. “Marrying to better your station?”
“Not all of us were born into the House of Dorsa,” Mylla said. “Not all of us are lucky enough to be named heirs when we have no brothers. You should be glad that Nik’s gone. You get to stay at the palace. You get to succeed your father on the throne.”
Tasia stared at her handmaid disbelievingly. “Glad that Nik’s gone? How can you be so callous?”