I fold my arms over my chest. “It wasn’t the Night.” I turn my body so I’m facing him, gaze straight into those dark eyes of his. “It was the Imperi.”
“Right.” He almost laughs the word. “If you truly believe that, you’ve been brainwashed.”
“How are you so sure?” My voice quakes, and for the first time ever, those dark eyes of his doubt me.
And maybe in this moment I doubt him.
“The Imperi takes care of us, protects us. They keep us with food and materials, health and happiness, all of that…” He trails off.
“They do that for you, Nico. For Dogio. Not so much for Basso.”
He swallows hard.
He stays quiet, staring at the pond. Then, “You’re right.”
“What?”
“We live in different worlds.” He glances toward the pond, and I can see the faintest shine of water in his eyes. “I haven’t been a good friend.”
“What?”
“No … I mean, here I am in a position of power; I should have done something long ago to help change things.”
“How could you?”
“I don’t know, Veda, I guess that’s the problem.” He looks into my eyes. “Because even I feel powerless most of the time.” Nico sighs deeply. “And if I feel like I have no control, I can’t imagine how you’ve felt. I can see how easily you could be turned against the Imperi, and I don’t fault you for that.”
“You don’t fault me?” Brow furrowed, I take a step away from him.
“I didn’t mean it like that…” He stumbles over his words. “Just that we’ve had completely different experiences. Based on that reasoning, it makes sense you don’t trust the Imperi and I do.”
“Well, your reasoning’s stupid, Denali. That’s obvious, even without the whole they’ve-been-lying-about-the-Night part.”
Nico takes me in, chest swelling with a deep breath I know is him giving up, not wanting to argue with me. “Fair enough,” he concedes, crooked smile quirking at his lips so that dimple deepens.
I smile back. “Fair enough.” I decide not to push any further. I told him all I planned to tell him. The truth (most of it).
Nico checks his hourglass. “We should get going.”
His words tug me back to reality, and I glance down at my own hourglass. “Poppy! Damn it, I promised him I’d meet him in an hour.”
“When was that?”
“Nearly an hour ago.”
I stand up and start to walk away.
“Veda?”
I stop and turn on my heels to find he’s right behind me. “Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too.”
I take his hands in mine. But instead of holding on, clasping our fingers together like we normally would, Nico wraps his arms around the small of my back. Pulling me into his chest, our eyes connecting, unspoken words long overdue pass between us. Slowly, slowly, our mouths inch closer.
“I’ve…,” Nico breathes.
“Me too…”
Lips a mere sigh away, our foreheads touching, noses grazing, we kiss.
I stop breathing.
I realize I’ve stopped when I can taste his breath, his lips, all things Nico. He’s all warmth, mouth spiced of spearmint, one hand clutching my back, the other in my hair, twirling a long wave and then pushing it off my shoulder. My knit hat falls off as I put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, closer, never close enough.
I’ve wanted this and evaded it for years.
Blurry. That’s what it is. Nico and I, we blur together into one. Opening my eyes I steal a glance. Instead of the satisfaction, the triumph, I expect to see, he’s hurting. His eyes are closed tight, and there’s a tear teetering in each of the corners.
Then it’s over.
The kiss, my first kiss, ends too soon.
“Nico!” a voice calls from above.
My eyes widen.
“It’s Arlen. I have to go.” He rubs his fist across his face, wiping the emotion clean in one movement.
“Oh … Right … Me too.” I’m still lost in warmth, in spearmint, in the blur of what just happened.
“I’m sure I’ll see you at the Offering.”
Before I can get another word out, he kisses me on the cheek, scales the hill, and jumps the fence.
I run nearly the whole way to the docks, and by the time I get there, I’ve missed Poppy.
He’s nowhere to be seen, but I’m able to catch the next boat, surely not far behind him.
As I stand at the front of the transport, hands gripping the wet metal railing, chilly, saltwater-laced wind whips across my face like icy needles. I stare out over choppy water, toward the dark silhouette of the Coliseum in the distance.
Another Offering.
I’m still light headed, confused as ever, and those butterflies in my stomach have turned to restless, buzzing wasps.
CHAPTER 17
The strong scents of sausage and cinnamon swirl along the breeze as the boat approaches the Island of Sol and the Coliseum.
I’m first off and make a quick beeline to the entrance where I instantly, unmistakably identify Poppy’s bald spot. He’s only a few Basso ahead of me in line.
“Excuse me,” I say, “I need to get in line with my grandfather; he’s just up ahead.” I push my way up to him, but he’s already heard my voice, the commotion, and is looking back at me.
“Veda…,” he says, clearly disappointed. Once I’m next to him, he leans in, nearly whispering. “I hoped you decided not to come.”
“I told you I’m not doing that,” I whisper back.
His eyes turn stern. “It’s a bad idea. You still have time. Go—”
But we’re butting right up to the Imperi officers at this point.
“Too late,” I say, satisfied smile stretched across my face. I don’t know why he’s so concerned. Being so incredibly stubborn. Well … I suppose I do. He is my grandfather.
Poppy only shakes his head and audibly swears under his breath.
We take our medallions out, hold them faceup in our palms.
With only one Basso ahead of us, I look inside the Coliseum and toward the Sun mural, hoping to see Nico, wondering if he’ll be sitting with us again today.
I’m scanning the crowd so thoroughly that it isn’t until Poppy very loudly clears his throat that I return my attention to the line, the medallions …
Poppy tosses his coin into the box and I do the same. But he doesn’t move forward. He’s staring at the Imperi officer. When I follow his eyes, I see why.
It’s Nico.
“What?” I whisper.
Nico shakes his head and his chest rises and falls. He leans forward, glancing back and forth first before he speaks. “I wanted to tell you, but…”
“You didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.” He breathes through his nose, working his jaw like he wants to say so much more but can’t. Only a moment ago we were in each other’s arms. Now he’s Imperi uniform clad, gold Sun embroidered over his heart, Imperi officer’s crest on his collar, pressed sash cutting his chest in crimson. A stranger. One of them.