My voice broke off as I tried to seal everything off. I had reached my limit for talking about it. It was different with my boys, but this... this was much harder. Exactly the reason I didn’t see a goddamn therapist.
“We don’t have to talk about the rest of it,” she offered. “Honestly, just to know it was happening is enough to justify us looking into it.”
“I just don’t know if I can handle fully talking about it,” I admitted softly, feeling disappointed in myself. When had I become such a bitch about this shit? I knew that becoming more emotionally open and more sensitive was healthy and probably healing me, but fuck it was inconvenient.
“You don’t need to explain any more.” She reached over and squeezed my hand in a familiar gesture. “I am literally horrible when it comes to dealing with emotions, specifically mine, so I totally understand not wanting to delve into whatever it was you went through. Plus, I am more than likely to suggest revenge or some violent act instead of talking through it.”
I couldn’t help but offer her a smile, because I felt like this chick just understood me. “I like that. The violence part.”
“It’s what I do,” she chimed as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes I had. I felt a bit shaky as I lit it. She continued, “Well, actually it’s what my boys do, and then I decided I liked the way they handled shit. Violence is way more effective than I originally realized.”
I inhaled on my cigarette and laughed. “Honestly, it's refreshing. Everything is so damn intense lately. You’re cool Nova, I’m glad that we met... especially, well, since we seem to both have harems. Should we talk about that? I feel like we sort of have to—”
We totally needed to fucking talk about it.
“Right!?” She sat up further. “I thought it was only me. Then I found out the Queen from the Horde has like five husbands and Vegas is with like ten different men. Apparently it’s a thing! Which is good, because I couldn’t slow the boat with those psychos in there, even if I wanted to.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Are yours crazy also?”
“I can’t even begin to explain half of it,” she sighed dramatically, but her expression was thrilled. “We had a Halloween party yesterday, right? And some asshole made some jerk comment and three of my guys had him and his friends upstairs for the rest of the night doing god knows what. All I know is that they came back with blood on them. Then this other time, one of them almost killed my father for me—trust me, he deserved it, but shit, I had not expected that.”
“You don’t even have to explain,” I confided, feeling happy I had someone to gossip with. Was this what it was like to have a friend? “Certain members of my little group are actually psychotic. One of them tortured a demon and remembered that I had threatened to cut off the bastard's balls... and well, did it.”
“That’s love,” she admitted wistfully. “Is it wrong I love it?”
“No, it’s hot as hell,” I said, feeling amused as my panic subsided.
Before the door even opened, I felt Rhett and turned to meet his intense gaze. Well, heck, hello to you too. Damn, did he ever have an off day? I didn’t think so. The man was far too good looking.
“Bunny,” he said softly as he crouched down next to me. “They are going to be heading down to the Demonic realm…”
“Glad they are making decisions without me,” Nova grumbled.
I frowned at his words. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Rhett.”
“They want to observe the power drain on their own,” he explained.
“I really think that’s a bad idea.” I didn’t like the fucking idea of anyone going down to that realm.
Nova squeezed my shoulder while standing up. “Lorcan. We are totally fine, trust me. Although I would have appreciated being asked for my input!” She yelled the last part, but I was already looking back at Rhett as she walked away.
“Rhett,” I frowned, “they don’t realize....”
“They do.” He clasped my jaw and looked me in the eyes as he said, “I promise you bunny, they will be just fine.”
“But if Nova gets trapped—” I was already the worst friend. How was I not stopping this?
“Hey,” he said, brushing my cheeks with his thumbs, “they won’t let anything happen to her. Your friend will be just fine. Those guys are worse than Dean.” Highly unlikely.
I swallowed and nodded, putting my forehead against his. “I love you.”
“Lorcan,” he exhaled sharply, “saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t feel like enough to me. I feel so fucking much for you. It’s insane.”
After kissing me softly, he helped me up and intertwined his fingers with my own. We walked into a comical scene taking place in the kitchen. Nova had her hands on her hips, smiling as her guys all stared at her with different levels of frustration and amusement. I immediately curled up between Dean and Rhett on the couch. Dean squeezed my leg, offering me an exhausted look.
He didn’t look grumpy, though, which meant in terms of Dean’s life, he loved these fucking people. I nearly teased him about that.
“Everett,” River, I think it was, warned.
“What?” Everett shrugged, “I can’t lie to my girl.”
“Plus, he has a list, River. You should appreciate that level of organization, even if it's because he’s a serial killer,” Nova grinned.
“Fucking hell,” Adriel muttered, coming up behind me and running his hands through my hair.
“Don’t worry, moonbeam,” Nour wrapped his arms around Nova. “I won’t kill anything.”
“Hey, now,” she scowled, “I never said it was a bad thing.”
Ramsey growled, looking frustrated that her eyes weren’t on him. “Nova, I swear to the Maker—-”
I laughed as Dean finally spoke. “How? How the hell are you not all exhausted all of the time? The group of you are goddamn hyperactive--”
“Dean!” I scolded.
“It’s true,” Rowan pointed out. “We run on chaos and violence.”
“We should package that into an energy drink!” Nova announced.
“You are also insane,” Adriel muttered.
I arched a brow at him, and his ears heated. Yeah, okay, they were fucking insane. Crazy bastard.
“Pretty sure we are all insane here,” Nova declared. “No need to rate. You are just probably better at hiding it. Or not. I couldn’t tell you, because I was thinking about my monsters’ violent streak and all the fun we are going to have down there.”
“A drink,” Cash groaned, shooting me a smile as he stood. “I need a fucking drink.” He was being such a baby, but I did hope he would bring a bottle of water back to me.
“So when are we going to the Demonic realm?” Nova asked.
“Desmond is going to open a portal for us once we grab some stuff from the Reid estate,” River explained as my djinn offered me a searing look. I leaned over and squeezed his hand.
Nova turned on her heel towards me and asked, “Do you have a badass outfit I could borrow?”