“We’re not breaking the mating bond, Jaxon.”
“It could starve him. Without the energy from the bond to feed on, he would die quickly, right? I think you’d be okay in that scenario. It’s the draining that is slowly killing us all.”
His words poke at all my still-tender spots. “And I’d have to sit by and watch him die. While also being traumatized at the loss of my mate.”
“You wouldn’t lose me. I’d still be here—”
“Just not my mate anymore.” I look at him with what I know is my heart in my eyes and whisper, “Is that really what you want?”
“Of course it’s not what I want!” he practically shouts.
“Good. Then don’t bring it up again.”
“Grace—”
“No.” I want to throw myself at him, to wrap my arms around his waist, but I’m still aching.
“I’m sorry.” He pulls me close, holds me as tightly as I wanted to hold him. “I was only trying to make things better for you.”
“I don’t need that kind of help,” I answer, even as I wonder if that’s really true. If making things better for me is the only reason he brought this up.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I’m so sorry.”
I don’t know if it’s enough. Honestly, I don’t know what would be enough right now, but it’s a start. That has to count for something.
“Okay,” I tell him, even though I’m feeling anything but. Still, we’re out of time. We have to get to the assembly.
Maybe if I just breathe for a little while, the pain will go away. And so will the sense of betrayal that’s ricocheting through me.
As I head for the door, I dread having to field Hudson’s snark in the middle of all this. But for once, he doesn’t make a sound.
90
Fire and Bloodstone
I’m still reeling ten minutes later as we make our way to the ceremony. I tell myself that it’s no big deal, that everything is going to be okay—with Jaxon, with the ceremony, with the Unkillable Beast. But how okay can I convince myself things are going to be if Jaxon was willing to sever our mating bond?
Everything feels wrong now, off-kilter. And the fact that Hudson is back to haranguing me definitely doesn’t help.
“Which part of my father murdered every gargoyle in existence do you not understand?” Hudson demands as we make our way down to the auditorium. “Do you think he killed all of them in secret? He did it right out in the open and dared anyone to question him. And if they did, he killed them, too—or at least discredited them. You think he can’t make one silly little girl go away?
“His words, not mine,” he hastens to add when I turn on him, infuriated. “I’m just saying, that’s what he’ll be thinking. It’s not true, but that’s how he’ll see it.”
“Yeah, well, that’s ridiculous,” I mutter and glance up at Jaxon talking to Mekhi.
“Absolutely. But he’s a ridiculous man. Evil. Monstrous. But ridiculous. You’ll do well to remember that.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but then neither do Jaxon, Mekhi, or I as we take the last flight of stairs two at a time. The others are waiting for us at the bottom, looking a million times happier than I feel. Then again, the king probably doesn’t want to kill them.
“Looking good, Grace,” Flint tells me, holding up a hand for a fist bump.
“You’re looking pretty good yourself,” I tell him, because it’s true. All the guys look amazing in their dress uniforms, especially since they get to wear blazers tonight instead of those absurd purple robes.
“Everybody ready for this dog and vampire show?” Mekhi asks as he holds an arm out for Eden. She looks a little surprised at the gesture—I’m guessing the combat boots and kick-ass attitude tend to limit the gallant gestures aimed her way—but then she smiles wider than I’ve ever seen her.
“Damn straight!” she tells him, taking his offered arm.
Xavier offers his arm to Macy, and she giggles like a schoolgirl before she also takes it. But I can’t help grinning at the way she and Xavier keep stealing glances at each other out of the corners of their eyes when they think the other one isn’t looking.
“Guess that leaves you and me,” Flint says to Gwen with a waggle of his eyebrows.
She looks at him like he’s a little strange, but she nods as she gingerly takes his arm. She’s doing so much better, but her arm is still badly bruised and cut up.
Jaxon reaches up and smooths my curls off my face. “It’s going to be okay,” he tells me. “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I know you won’t,” I answer as he takes my hand in his. But his words from earlier keep playing in my head.
Sometimes it feels like Jaxon tries to protect me from everyone but himself.
But as our palms meet, I can’t help but realize how drained he is. I fed him energy down the mating bond right after we got back from the Boneyard earlier, and he seemed to be doing better, but right now I’m not so sure.
We have to get the last item. We don’t have any time to waste.
“So anxious to get me out, huh?” Hudson asks.
So anxious to get your brother back to normal, I answer. It’s not the same thing.
I wait for the obnoxious comeback, and it doesn’t take long. “Jaxon doesn’t do normal, or haven’t you noticed?”
Says the guy who lives in my head, I shoot back, fed up with everyone at the moment. Hate to be the one to break it to you, but he’s not the abnormal one here.
Hudson starts to say something else, but he stops as we walk into the auditorium, which is already half filled with students, many of whom turn to look at us as we start toward the back row of seats.
There’s a purple carpet—a purple carpet!—lining the walkway up to the stage. It’s obviously for us, and I feel completely ridiculous walking down it, even though everyone else seems to think it’s totally normal.
Uncle Finn is waiting when we get to the stage, once again fiddling with the sound system. He grins at all of us and goes out of his way to send an encouraging little wink to Macy and me.
Still, there’s something in his eyes—they’re so serious, despite his smile and wink—that makes my stomach clench.
“Is it too late to run?” I ask, and I’m only half kidding. Something about this just feels off. Jaxon squeezes my hand.