“Of course it’s dangerous,” I answer. “I mean, what exactly about your world isn’t deadly?”
“It’s your world, too,” Hudson reminds me, and for once he doesn’t sound cavalier. In fact, he sounds concerned, and not in a snide way.
Which, now that I think about it, might be what’s freaking me out so much. Well, that and my having just agreed to participate in some twisted paranormal version of reality TV—sudden-death edition.
“And I say you might as well be in charge of it instead of crushed by it,” he adds.
“You shut up!” I tell him, and I’m so annoyed that I end up practically yelling it. Out loud. “You’re the one who got me into this mess!”
“Me?” Jaxon looks insulted. “I’m just trying to help get you out of this mess.”
I don’t bother telling him I’m talking to Hudson. Not when I’ve got enough anger to go around. “By signing up to die with me? I’m glad that feels like helping.”
Now he just looks pissed off. “Should I have left you to go it alone when I can help you? We are mates, you know. That’s not just in name only.”
“Unless you decide otherwise,” I snark, and I know it’s a low blow, but I’m still hurting big-time from what happened before. Then to add this whole Trial thing on top of it, followed by the fact that the only help with it can come from my mate? The guy who just told me that, for a while at least, he didn’t even want to be my mate?
It’s like rubbing salt in an open wound—followed by a lemon juice and vinegar chaser.
“Okay, look,” Macy steps in. “This is bad. No doubt about it. But we have too much to do in the next two days to start sniping at one another. So can we just settle down and make a plan?”
“I’m pretty sure Cyrus already made a plan.” I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “And it ends with me in chains or dead.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen,” Xavier tells me, hands on hips like he’s ready to battle now. “Not if we have anything to say about it.”
“Can someone tell me exactly what this Trial is that I’ve just signed myself up for? I know Ludares was based on it, but what exactly does that mean?”
“It’s basically Ludares without rules. Or safety bracelets. No-holds-barred, free-for-all till the death,” Jaxon tells me. “And instead of eight-versus-eight teams, it’s the two challengers against eight champions picked by the Circle.”
“So Ludares on steroids?” I ask as a whole new brand of horror sweeps through me. “And I’m supposed to play by myself?”
“With your mate,” Jaxon reminds me. “I’ve got your back, Grace.”
I sigh, because as mad at him as I am—and I am really, really mad—I know that’s true. Jaxon would never leave me hanging when I need him. Especially not when there’s a way for him to help me. It’s as I remember this that the last of my anger leaves me. Because Jaxon has always tried to do what is right for me—no matter how misguided—and that outweighs everything else.
“So,” I say when I can finally think through the panic. “We have two days to get Jaxon and me in shape for the Trial. Fantastic. Any ideas?”
It’s a sarcastic question, but judging from the contemplative looks on everyone’s faces, they’re actually trying to answer it. So many reasons why I adore my friends.
“Well, I think we should talk about the fact that we have to get Hudson out of your head before you get on that field,” Flint says. “Otherwise he’s going to keep draining you and Jaxon, and then you’ll both lose—and possibly even die.”
“He’s right,” Macy agrees. “We’ve got to get him out as soon as possible.”
“Which means getting to the Unkillable Beast as soon as possible,” Jaxon says. “We can’t let him out until we have the heartstone the beast is guarding.”
“What is it with my brother’s determination to die?” Hudson grumbles. “You don’t need a heartstone. You just need to get me out so I don’t put any more strain on the mating bond. And you already have everything you need to do that.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t get a vote,” I tell him as Jaxon and Flint start arguing over the best way to go about killing the beast.
“Of course I don’t. Why should I, when I’m the one most affected by it?” He rolls his eyes.
Ugh. I’m frustrated and freaked out, and the last thing I need is Hudson’s martyr complex right now.
“Martyr complex?” he almost roars. “Are you kidding me? I’m the only reason you’re not in chains bound for my parents’ dungeon, and I have a martyr complex? Seriously?”
I sigh. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“News flash. I’m in your head,” he snaps and paces in front of Jaxon’s bookcase. “I hear everything. Every snarky little thought you have, I know about it. Every fear, I see it. Every random thought is front and center in my brain, so I get that you’re afraid. And I get that you don’t want to trust me because of what everyone else has told you.
“But could you please, for one minute, just listen to me? Just think this through. I swear, I’m trying to help you. I swear, that’s all I’m trying to do, Grace. All I’ve done since I’ve come back is try to help you.”
I want to believe him, I do. So much so that it surprises me. But I’m scared. I’ve made mistakes before, trusted people I shouldn’t. Look at what happened with Lia.
“I’m not Lia,” he tells me. “I never would have asked for this. I never would have even dreamed of putting you through what she did. What happened with her is one of the biggest regrets of my life and if I could take it back, I would—”
“Take what back?” I ask, shocked at how tortured he looks, how remorseful. Usually, those are the last two adjectives I’d ever use for Hudson.
“I made a mistake,” he tells me. “I teased her one day, not long before I died. Told her she’d love me forever. I was joking, just playing around, but…” He shakes his head. “I don’t get to do that, because my power makes it true. I knew better, but I forgot for one second, and all this happened.” He holds his hands out helplessly.
His words make everything inside me sit at attention. Because maybe Lia wasn’t as evil as I thought. Maybe she was just one more victim of power beyond someone’s control. It’s a hard thought to swallow after everything that’s happened, so I file it in my “Shit I Don’t Have Time For Today” folder and promise myself I’ll get back to it when I have more time.