The most shocking thing, however, is the state of these very castrated, docile men. The horror! They do not speak directly to a woman when they desire her, and instead try to woo her with polite conversation while drinking coffee. Weak coffee. With milk. What sort of man puts the juice from the teat of a lactating cow in their coffee? And, pray tell, what is the matter with simply telling a woman what you desire? Come here to my chamber, wench, I wish to plow you. Why not offer her father something of value in exchange for her? A goat. Or a pig, perhaps. I simply see no point in being a man of means if one does not wish to barter for goods and the sexual companionship of a woman. Or for handing over their tasty virgin daughters to the local vampire.
“I bid you good evening, friends,” I say with a malcontented sigh to the actors, though they stay in character even when I press the little red button on the handheld box that controls the TV’s stage curtain.
I sit quietly in my chair next to the dwindling fire and contemplate the uneasiness in my chest. What is the matter with me? It is almost sunrise, and I have not fed, yet I have no appetite. Not for the local fare I have been sipping outside the pubs. The startling truth is I only wish to sink my fangs, and perhaps another part of my anatomy, into a certain female across the road.
Hmmm… I rub my rough chin, mulling over the idea of paying her a visit. I have about one hour before sunrise. Yes. I will go in through her window and take a whiff. That should sate me for today. But what about tomorrow? Or the day after?
Another idea hits. If Stella will not agree to engage in this collaboration, then I will use my powers of suggestion. By tomorrow, she will be begging to see me.
Knowing I must be discreet if I am to sneak into her bedchamber unnoticed, I undo the buttons of my white shirt and enter my dressing room in search of something darker to go with my black leather trousers. On the shelf are soft stretchy woven things Neli calls sweaters. I hold up the dark blue one with long sleeves. Ick. It has no ruffles or fine buttons made of those iridescent seashells I favor, but it will have to do. I have not gone to the tailor just yet.
I slide on the garment—oh, very soft—and glide my hands over my torso while I gaze into the large beveled mirror mounted to the wall. The clothing nicely displays my strong muscles and broad chest.
I turn and look at my firm backside, now also on display since my long shirt no longer conceals it. Could split firewood with that ass. I still prefer formal attire, but I do believe this sort of outfit will assist me in enticing a certain human to my bed—something I would want her to do willingly. It is one thing to use my abilities of persuasion to make a human want to spend time with me, but it is very unsportsmanlike to hypnotize a female into sex. Where’s the fun in that?
“Eh-hem! And just where do you think you’re going?” Neli snaps, appearing in the doorway of my dressing room, wearing a very unusual fuzzy robe with animal print. Women’s fashion is very strange in these times.
“Out for a little stroll.”
She raises one red brow. “So close to dawn?”
I pull back my long hair and grab a piece of leather from my grooming drawer to tether it. I do not want it in my way when I scale Stella’s home. Wait. “Is Stella’s bedchamber on the first or second floor?”
“Boz, no!” Fire shoots from Neli’s green eyes. “Don’t you dare go over there.”
“Calm your feathers, little hen. I am merely going to treat myself to a whiff of her delicious scent before I go to coffin.” I finish tying off my locks and glance once more in the mirror at my pale face. The high cheekbones are nice, as is my strong jaw and brow line; however, I have been told by many women that my full lips are very sexually enticing. Perhaps I should use this to my advantage and draw more attention to them.
“Do you think I should cut my hair and go for a more modern look?” I ask Neli. “Like those Joey and Ross men?” I also cannot help noticing the lack of chalkiness of their skin. In my time, being supremely pasty was a sign of grandeur and influence. Or the bubonic plague? In any case, people of stature did not spend their days outside, working the fields or tending to cattle. The paler the better. Now, after seeing these friends perform their daily peasant duties, I am beginning to understand that the common man of this era spends his days inside very large buildings, slaving away on their electronic devices. The outdoors is reserved for those with free time, wishing to relax. “I also understand there is a product to give a man’s skin the darkened appearance of one who enjoys leisurely afternoons by the ocean or on a yacht. Do I have a yacht? If not, please procure five before I wake, and ensure they are very glamorous.”
Neli’s eyes flicker with agitation, and her face turns an angry shade of red. I am now wondering if I have misdiagnosed her consumption. Perhaps she is in need of a long walk outside to feel more fashionable.
“Boz,” she growls.
Ah! I suddenly realize why she is upset. “You may borrow my boat on your annual day off, if this concerns you.”
“No! For fuck’s sake, you do not have a yacht, and if you did, I wouldn’t want to borrow it.”
“Then what vexes you, girl? Out with it.” I flick my wrist in her general direction.
She crosses the room and shakes a finger in my face. “If you go over to Stella’s, we both know you’ll be tempted to take more than a whiff and—”
“And what?” I sneer, growing impatient with her lectures.
“Your score with virgins is: Boz, eight hundred plus. Virgins, zero.”
Of course it is. I am the master and always get my way. “I want you to make an appointment with the barber and a good tailor today while I sleep. I wish to look like gentlemen of this era. Perhaps a nice suit made of leather, but with more modern lines. I would also like to know the location of one of these sorceresses who can give my skin a golden luster.” I shall spare no expense to impress Stella so she will submit fully to me.
Neli rolls her eyes. “You’re totally going over there and ignoring everything I said, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” I am going to use my gifts to ensure Stella wants to spend time with me, but that is all. I will have to depend on good old-fashioned seduction for the rest. “And if you had done your job to convince her to come to the castle this evening, I would not be forced to take matters into my own hands, now would I?” I open the door that leads to a concealed staircase behind my mirror and head for the stone steps leading downstairs to the garden.
“Fine! Guess I’ll start packing, then, since we’ll be on the run after you kill her! Thanks, master!” Neli yells from inside the castle.
I do not understand why she believes I lack control. Have I killed a single human since I rose from my lengthy slumber? No. Not even when I felt ravenous.
Of course, this Stella is a temptation like no other. But how is this my fault? If Stella does not wish to be seduced by a vampire, she should try being less desirable. Maybe cover herself in cow dung or stop bathing altogether to mask that intoxicating scent.
Mmmm…roses mixed with notes of wine and sunshine. My entire body quakes with anticipation.
I zip through the hedges that border the castle’s property line, and cross the dark road. The moment I step foot on Stella’s property, a bloodhound howls from upstairs. I move swiftly to find the old hound in Stella’s parents’ room and stop the alarm.