And he was naked, which just made everything all that more surreal.
“We knew this was a possibility,” he told Gordo, his voice a deep rumble, the words slightly lisped because of the fangs. The fangs.
“How is this fair to Ox?” Gordo asked bitterly. “You didn’t give him a choice.”
“And you did?”
The tattoos flared on Gordo’s arms. “It’s not the same and you know it.”
“You’re not a stupid boy,” Thomas snapped. “Don’t act like you are. These things choose themselves. Your father, regardless of what he turned into, taught you better than that.”
“Don’t you dare bring him into this. Ox isn’t—”
“I’m standing right here,” I somehow managed to say.
They looked over at me, surprise on their faces, like they’d forgotten I was there.
And it hit me.
“Joe,” I said. “Where’s Joe?”
Carter and Kelly whimpered at my sides, brushing up against me.
Thomas sighed. “It’s his first shift. He’s not… handling it very well.”
Fear ran through me. “Where is he?” I demanded.
Gordo stepped forward. “Ox, you need to understand. You always have a choice. This isn’t set in stone.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care what’s going on. I don’t care if I’m dreaming or awake or if I’ve lost it. Fucking wolves and witches and I don’t fucking care. Where the fuck is Joe?” My hands were fists at my sides. Carter and Kelly laid their ears flat against their heads and slunk down, trying to make themselves smaller.
Thomas said, “He needs your help.”
And Gordo said, “Fuck that. You don’t put that on him.”
But then Thomas had him by the throat and he was more wolf than man, though he still stood on two legs. The white hair had returned, and the claws had extended. His teeth were bigger, like fat nails, and the noise that spilled from him caused gooseflesh along my arms and neck.
“You are here,” Thomas snarled at him, “because I respected your father and the covenant. Or at least what he once was. Don’t mistake that for anything more. You are not pack by your own choice.”
“And yet you call me for this?” Gordo snapped, struggling in Thomas’s grasp. “And I came. I’m not bound for shit and I still came.”
“He is my son. And the next Alpha. You will show respect.”
“Fuck you,” he wheezed.
And I said, “Stop.”
And they did.
Gordo fell to the ground, sucking in air.
Thomas breathed heavily, eyes red, growling low.
And then I saw it. Behind them. In the clearing. In the moonlight.
A dark shape, curled on the ground. A flicker of light rose up around it. Green, maybe. Deep green, but it was gone before I could be sure.
I pushed past Gordo and Thomas. I didn’t have time for them.
Carter and Kelly were at my sides, tongues lolling from their mouths. Mark was behind me, his nose pressing against my back.
Another wolf lay on the ground, almost as big as Mark, and I thought Elizabeth. She was colored like her sons, grays and blacks and whites. She raised her head at my approach and her eyes were the same, so beautiful and blue, and I remembered her telling me how she was done with her green phase. She had laughed and spun me in a circle, flecks of paint on her hands.
They were the same, but I could see the sadness in them.
“I don’t….” I shook my head.
“She can’t hear you,” Gordo said quietly from behind me. “There’s an earth ward around them infused with silver. It blocks out all sound and smells.” There was another flash of green, and in the moonlight, I could see slashes in the earth forming a circle around Elizabeth.
“They’re trapped?” I was horrified.
“By choice,” Gordo said. “It’s safer for Joe as he is right now. It blocks out everything except for his mother.”
I took a step toward Elizabeth, but Gordo grabbed my arm, holding me back.
“You have to listen,” he said. “Before.”
“Before?”
Elizabeth never took her eyes from me. They flashed orange. I couldn’t see Joe and my head hurt.
“We have… we need something. Anything. A thing that keeps us holding on to our humanity.” Gordo’s grip loosened on my arm, but he didn’t let me go completely. There was an almost electric quality to the touch and I wondered if it was the tattoos. Or him. Or whatever this was. “Magic takes a lot out of you. It can pull you places you never thought it could go. Dark corners that are better left alone.”
“And wolves?”
“Wolves need it to remind them they’re part human. Especially born wolves. It’s easier for them to get lost in the animal. And they do, without something to tie them to the rational world.”
I said, “Nothing about this is rational,” and my voice was rough. I felt like I was tipping into something I couldn’t come back from.
Gordo cut through the panic. “Joe will go feral, Ox. He’ll go feral if he doesn’t have a tether. Usually it’s pack or family or an emotion like love and a sense of home. It can be anger and hatred, but at least it’s something. He doesn’t have it now. It won’t happen today. Or tomorrow or maybe even a year from now. But if he can’t be tied to his humanity, then one day he’ll go feral and he’ll never change back. And a wolf without a tether is dangerous. A… decision would have to be made.”
A flash in the dark, a memory from before. About tethers. “Mark said….”
Gordo knew. He sighed. “Yeah. He did. You’re my tether, Ox.”
“When?”
“When you turned fifteen. When I gave you the shirts.”
“I didn’t feel any different.”
You belong to us now.
“Yes, you did.”
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“It just happened,” he pleaded. “I never meant to—”
“Can I be both?”
“Both?”
“To you and him.”
“I don’t… maybe. If anyone could, it’d be you.”
“Why me? I’m nothing. I’m nobody.”
He squeezed my arm. “You are greater than any of us, Ox. I know you don’t see it. I know what you think. But you are more.”
I was a man now, so I pushed away the burn in my eyes. “What do I need to do?”
“Are you sure?” Thomas said from behind me.
I only had eyes for Elizabeth. I could feel the wolves around me, but I never looked away from her.
“Yes.” Because it was Joe.
“It’ll be fast,” Gordo said. “The ward will drop. You’ll hear him. He’s been… loud. Don’t let it frighten you. He’ll catch your scent. Talk to him. Let him hear your voice. He doesn’t… look like himself right now. Okay? But he’s still Joe.”
“Okay.” My heart thundered in my chest.
This was not a dream.
“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Gordo said quietly.
“Okay.”
“Ox. You have a choice.”