“Is she pack?”
“In her own way.”
“She would have to know.”
“I trust you, Ox,” he said, and I closed my eyes. The weight of his words were not lost on me. Not with his family’s history.
“Would I lose myself?” I asked him. “The part of me that makes me me.”
“No. I wouldn’t let that happen. You would still be you. Just….”
“More?” I asked bitterly.
“Different,” he said. “Ox. Ox. You will never need to be more. Of anything. You are perfect just the way you are. Humans are… special. Human pack members are revered. You will always be protected. You will always be loved.”
A bee flew past my legs and I followed it with my eyes until it disappeared. “Then why ask?”
“Because you will always have a choice. We are defined by the choices we make. When you turn eighteen, should you want the bite, I will give it to you.”
I looked at him. He was watching me closely. “I could run with you,” I said shyly. “At the full moon.”
He laughed. “You’ll do that anyway. You might not be as fast, but we won’t let you fall behind.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
His smile faded. “To protect you.”
“From what?”
He said, “There are things far greater out there than you or I, Ox. Both good and bad. The world is bigger than you could possibly imagine. We’re safe here. For now. But that might not always be the case. This is a place of power. And places such as this always attract attention.”
“What’s changed?”
“Joe.”
I looked away. “Would you have told me if he…?”
“Yes. One day.”
And I left it at that. “It’s probably dinnertime,” I said. “It’s tradition.”
And his smile returned.
I WONDERED if Thomas had noticed I never answered his questions. About becoming a wolf. I thought he did. I thought he knew everything.
“I KEEP you grounded,” I said to Gordo not long after. We were alone in the shop, getting ready to close up for the day. It was almost time to go back to school and these quiet moments we had would become few and far between.
He didn’t answer right away. I was okay with that.
I locked up the front doors and followed him out back, where he’d have his smoke and I’d pretend to have one too and we’d shoot the shit for another ten minutes like we always did before we went home.
He was sitting in his ragged lawn chair, twirling the lighter in his hands, cigarette behind his ear. He was watching a flock of birds flying by overhead.
“My father,” he said.
I waited.
He cleared his throat. “My father,” he tried again. “He was… not a very nice man.”
I wanted to tell him that we had yet another thing in common, but the words died on my tongue.
“You don’t know this world, Ox. Not yet. If you did, you would know my father’s name. He was very powerful. He was strong and brave and people worshipped the ground he walked on. Hell, I did too. But he wasn’t a nice man.”
My father had been a great man. I’d thought him strong and brave, and I’d worshipped the ground he walked on. But he’d never been very nice.
Dumb as an Ox.
Because I was gonna get shit.
“Packs like the Bennetts—old packs with long histories—have a witch brought into their folds. It’s meant to create peace and balance and add to the power of the Alpha. My father… he was Abel Bennett’s witch. Thomas’s father. The Bennett pack was bigger then. Stronger. Revered and feared.”
“What happened?” I asked quietly.
“He lost his tether,” Gordo said. He chuckled bitterly.
“Your mother?”
“No. Another woman. She… it doesn’t matter. She died. Werewolf. My father killed many people after that.”
I felt numb.
“I took his place,” Gordo said. “I was twelve.”
“Gordo—”
“I wasn’t ready. For the responsibility. I made mistakes. My father disappeared. Fuck knows if he’s even still alive. But I had a home. A place.”
“Gordo?”
“What.”
“I’m your tether.”
“Yeah.”
“Who was your tether before me?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He looked away.
But of course it did. “How long?”
“Jesus Christ.”
“How long were you without a tether?”
I didn’t think he’d answer. But then he said, “Years.”
“You fucking asshole,” I said hoarsely. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
“I didn’t think—”
“No shit you didn’t think. You could have gotten hurt.”
He lit his cigarette. Inhaled deeply. Blew out the smoke. “I had it under control.”
“Fuck you and your control.”
His eyes snapped to mine. “Just because you’re in this now doesn’t mean you know shit about it, Ox. Don’t forget. I’ve had a lifetime of all of this. You’re a fucking child.”
I pulled myself to my full height. “A child who is part of the Bennett pack and tethered to you and Joe.”
He watched me, a strange expression on his face. “Shit,” he muttered. “Ox.”
“Don’t. Never again. You hear me? You don’t keep shit from me. Ever again.”
“Ox—”
“Gordo.”
“Jesus, kid. You’re fucking scary sometimes. You know that, right? A bit of Alpha in you.”
I said nothing. Just glared at him.
He sighed. “All right.”
“Who was it?”
Smoke curled up around his face and he said, “Mark. Okay? It was Mark. I loved him. I loved him and he left and I stayed, and until I found you, I was lost in the dark. You brought me back, Ox. You brought me back and I can’t lose you. I can’t.”
THE OTHERS didn’t know. Tanner. Rico. Chris.
Gordo said it was better that way.
Sometimes I didn’t think Gordo even believed his own lies.
SCHOOL STARTED. My senior year.
The horn honked outside.
I opened the door.
Joe’s smile was bright and blinding as he waved at me from the backseat.
He said, “Hey, Ox. Now I get to be like you guys. Time for school, yeah?”
BACK IN the woods after asking if I wanted to be a wolf, Thomas said, “Tethers are important, Ox. Especially when they’re people. If it was an emotion, it’d have to be all encompassing. And that usually only happens with rage and hate, and it turns and twists until the tether is black and burnt. When the tether is a pack, it’s spread out amongst all members, and everyone carries the weight of the burden.”
“And if it’s just one person?” I asked. A breeze blew through my hair and I closed my eyes.
“If it’s one person,” Thomas said quietly, “then that person is treated as precious. But it’ll become possessive. It’s just the way it is. It’s one of the most important things there is to a wolf.”