“Where?”
“The old lookout.”
I could tell Beth was keen on this match by what was in the basket. Jai pulled out plastic container after plastic container of some of her signature dishes. Roast lamb, and creamy mashed spuds so thick and rich, you could eat it all by itself. Fresh made bread rolls, and butter she made herself from cream taken from their cows. We both made increasingly obscene noises as we opened each lid and piled food on the plates she’d packed, until the only sounds were the birds in the trees and us eating.
“Candle lit dinner,” he said, gesturing to the storm lantern he’d placed on the concrete picnic table. We’d pulled into the empty car park and walked along the winding path to the lookout that gave you a panoramic view of the valley. Kids had sprayed all sorts of graffiti tags all over the furniture here, but the council kept it otherwise clean.
“Beth likes you,” I said after we’d cleared our first plate full, watching in amusement as he dug in for more.
“What?” he said, nodding to me. “I’m a growing boy.”
“Growing?” I made a show of eyeing his six-foot-two frame. “Maybe that head of yours. Always the golden boy.”
“Is that what you thought of me?” he asked with a sly smile, then busied himself with his food. “Wasn’t me floating around looking like I’d been dipped in pure sunlight all the time. You used to come into class, and I’d…” He shook his head, smiling down at his plate, then those eyes flicked up. “Half the time, I’d be hassling the teacher to go to the shitter to…settle things down.”
“You’re trying to romance me by telling me you left class to deal with your boners?”
“I’m telling you it hurt to look at you. You were so fucking beautiful that I wanted to see if your hair felt as soft as the cloud it looked like. And yeah, I knew you were something special by the way my body responded to you. I spent most of school aching, watching.”
“You barely spoke to me, and when you did, you were a dick!”
“I—”
“You tied me and Jaz’s plaits together in middle school.”
“Well—”
“You pushed me into a puddle trying to get on the bus faster.”
“So I—”
“You tripped me over in front of the pack and then laughed the loudest out of all of them when I faceplanted. The whole bloody school saw me.”
“Fuck, Shan.” He scrubbed at his scalp. “Why the hell did you sleep with me?”
“You first,” I said, gesturing to him with a fork.
He played with his food for a moment, which was almost a relief, as when he looked up, I had to stifle a gasp, his eyes stabbing straight into me.
“Wolves mate for life. You know that, right?”
“I guess. I’ve never seen anyone get a divorce.”
“Well, we know who she is, who our mate is. We don’t always get to go that way. Our people first, our needs second, but…for me, it’s always been you. That’s hard when you’re a kid still trying to work out where the fuck you fit in, how this is gonna go, being two-souled. But that sense of you…it runs through me, like my heart, like the feel of a horse under me when I’m wheeling her around to chase a cranky cow down. When I sit still for once, just quiet and close to the land, I can feel it pulling through me, the link, what binds me here and to you. I feel you, Shannon Bruce, here.” I watched his hand slide under his shirt, patting his chest.
His words were silken ropes, tying themselves around my limbs, and I groaned at the soft slip of them against my skin. So I guess it was no surprise that I got to my feet and wandered around to him. He shifted so his legs fell on either side of the bench seat, arm moving out to draw me closer before I’d even reached him.
In the way it does with those people that leave a mark on you, it didn’t matter that the last time Jai and I had touched each other like this was five years ago. It all came rushing back, everything I was trying so hard to keep a wrap on. His scent, the burning hot feel of him, and the answering heat inside me. I turned to meet those lips, so familiar yet completely locked away from me for so long, not quirked up in a cheeky grin anymore. He pulled me closer, holding the back of my head as if I would pull away from this, then dove down and claimed my mouth with his.
In some ways, nothing had changed. It was just as hungry, and we were almost clumsy with our need for each other. I tasted the Coke he’d had after work, Beth’s food, and him, always him. It was a taste I craved, one I tried so damn hard to forget but had completely failed at, and now I didn’t have to.
“Fuck, Shan,” he gasped, then pulled me closer so I straddled his lap, and I groaned when I felt how hard he was beneath me. His hands pulled my hips down against his. I was drowning in him and his kisses, so I forced my head back, blinking as the evening reasserted itself.
The gentle hush of the trees, the sleepy sounds of the birds, the crack of breaking twigs, and him. I took that smiling mouth with mine more carefully now, brushing my lips against his, then sucking that full bottom lip before his tongue darted out.
“You don’t want to take things too far tonight…” he said.
His hand landed on my thigh, feeling like an immense weight, one that caught my whole attention as it slid upwards.
“We can’t…”
“I’ll take you home,” he said between kisses. “You’ll strip down, get under the water of your shower, wash the day off your skin.” His mouth was on mine as he told the story, his broad hand spanning to the top of my thigh. “You’ll sleep all alone in the big bed?” I nodded. “I’ll come sniffing around your door, making those mutts of yours crazy.” His fingers dug in, promising me a whole lot more if they got under these jeans. He was a man now, with none of the furtiveness of a boy. He was a dark stranger and the eternal golden boy all rolled into one, and I wanted to know how he’d feel.
“Better stop…” he hissed, putting a little distance between us. “I want it to be good for us, Shan,” he said as I leaned over. But our lips collided, drawn together like magnets, then he pulled me forward a little until the hard lump of his cock thrust up against just the right spot.
“Oh!” I yelped as his hips rolled.
“You’re shredding my control, Shan. I’m drowning in you.” His lips burned their way down my neck.
I wanted to tell him about all the ways I’d ached for him after he’d gone. How every man was held up against the measure of Jai Heller and always found wanting. I wanted to throw caution to the wind, get him to take me home, and do exactly as he’d described. It’d be hot and desperate until we’d gotten our fill of each other, and then… Would we wash each other’s hair in the shower, just for the sheer pleasure of touching each other? Would we hold each other’s hands over coffee as we watched the sun rise? Eat toast from each other’s plate?
“You’re right…” I gasped, forcing myself away from him. We sat there for a minute, our foreheads pressed together, and then he nodded.
“I am. C’mon, girl, let's pack up the leftovers and get you home.”
He told me to stay in the car when we pulled up at my driveway and then walked around with a grin to open my door, standing there as I slipped out, our bodies grazing. He kissed me inside the car door, and he kissed me when he reached my front step, until Janey appeared with a startled oops.