“Oh God,” he said, taking a sharp intake of breath.
“Your room or mine?” I asked, desperate to feel him inside me.
The front door flew open and like two rabbits in headlights, Fin and I froze as we looked at each other.
“What the hell’s going on here?” a voice said.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” said another.
Recognising who they belonged to I cringed, wanting the ground to swallow me whole. Fin’s eyes drilled straight into mine. I could see he was trying not to giggle as he un-cupped my breast, while at the same time I discreetly pulled my hand out of his trousers.
We both slowly turned our faces towards the intruders and taking in their bright red jackets, thick black belts, and matching Santa hats, I knew Fin would be more surprised than me to find Mother and Father Christmas looking back.
“Mum, Dad,” I said, trying to raise a welcoming smile. “What are you two doing here?”
25
With Mum and Dad safely ensconced at the kitchen dining table, Fin and I hastily put our clothes back on. I couldn’t believe Mum and Dad had just burst in like that. Or that they knew I’d be home. I couldn’t believe Vee would drop me in it when she’d promised to keep quiet.
“Well this is awkward,” Fin said, stretching his T-shirt over his head. “And a little bit embarrassing.”
“How do you think I feel?” I asked, keeping my voice down as I put my jumper on. “As if catching us at it isn’t bad enough, the first time you meet my parents and they come dressed as a pair of Santa knock-offs!”
Fin held my gaze, biting down on his lips, before we both creased with laughter.
“It’s not funny really,” I said, trying to pull myself together.
“Oh, it is,” Fin replied, as he tried to control his giggling.
“Ready?” I asked.
Fin zipped up his jeans.
I looked down at my own attire, checking I was also fully decent in the clothing department. I took a deep breath to compose myself before turning to leave, but Fin stopped me in my tracks.
“Hang on a minute,” he said. Suddenly serious, Fin stepped towards me, cupped my cheeks with his hands, and pulled my face towards his.
As his lips met mine, I did nothing to resist his kiss, choosing instead to enjoy the moment.
“What are you doing out there?” Mum asked, cutting it short.
Fin pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “I am now,” he whispered.
As Fin released his hold, I stood there for a second to gather myself. “Okay. Let’s do this,” I said, leading the way to the kitchen.
We entered to find Mum and Dad sat side by side, like two people waiting for a bus on their way home after a fancy-dress party. They stared straight ahead and taking in their blank expressions, I dreaded to think what was coming.
As if reading my thoughts, Fin put a comforting hand on my arm.
I smiled in response, appreciating the reassurance.
“Here you are,” Dad said, he and Mum giving us their full attention.
“Cup of tea?” I asked. I headed for the kettle to set about making it, while Fin took the seat opposite Dad.
Glancing over at the three of them, Fin winked at me. He seemed surprisingly comfortable considering my parents had just surged in when he was about to have sex with their daughter. I busied myself, placing mugs, the milk jug, and a sugar bowl onto a tray, knowing if Mum had her way, this was the calm before the interrogation storm.
“Do I know you?” Mum asked Fin. “Have we met before?”
I’d expected her first round of questions to focus on why I wasn’t in the Caribbean. Or why I was having sexual relations with a man who was, to them at least, a complete stranger. I looked over at the table, to see Mum scrutinising Fin’s face and as I’d done with my sister when she had burst forth into my house, I prayed Mum wouldn’t recognise him.
Fin smiled her way, but as much as he tried to hide it, her enquiry clearly unsettled him. “I don’t think so,” he replied, before looking at me as if to check I wasn’t listening.
I diverted my gaze and pretending I wasn’t, got back to making the tea.
“You look familiar,” Mum continued. The woman clearly wasn’t letting the matter drop.
“I think I’d remember,” Fin said.
“It’ll come to me,” Mum said, pensive. “I never truly forget a face.”
Leaving the tea to brew for a while, I decided it only fair I rescued Fin. There’d been enough excitement that evening already without adding his celebrity status into the mix. I carried my wares over to the table and began passing around cups. “Well,” I said to my parents, moving the conversation on. “I didn’t expect to be entertaining you two this evening.”
“Evidently,” Dad said, with a smirk.
Fin suddenly coughed, Dad’s humour clearly coming as a surprise.
“Joe,” Mum said, nudging my Dad. “Be kind.”
“What are you both doing here anyway?” I said, wondering why they had just burst in like that.
Mum scoffed. “We could ask you the same thing.”
“Well I asked first,” I said, blunt.
“We thought you’d been burgled,” Dad replied. “We came to find out what else, if anything, had been taken.”
“What are you talking about? Burgled?” Having been in all day, I was sure I’d have noticed.
“Then when we saw the lights on,” Mum said. “We thought whoever it was had obviously come back, so why not catch them in the act.”
Dad chuckled. “Oh, we did that, all right.”
Mum gave Dad a dirty look, while Fin tried to hide his amusement.
“But what made you think someone had broken in in the first place?” I asked, wanting to get to the bottom of things.
“Because of your car,” Mum replied.
I recalled the fact that Fin had borrowed it.
“Some bloke drove passed the house in it this afternoon. And with you being away…”
Fin froze. Like me, he’d obviously realised they were talking about him. I looked at the wall clock, telling myself it was a good job I hadn’t, in fact, been burgled. That vehicle had been back for hours and a robber could have been off with the house’s entire contents in that time.
“A dodgy-looking fella,” Dad continued. He turned his attention to Fin. “I got a good look, on account of him slowing down as he passed.”
Fin tried not to smile.
“Dodgy, you say?” I said, smirking Fin’s way.
“Definitely. He had blond hair, brushed back off his face,” Mum said. “And a solid square jaw.” She turned to Fin. “He looked a bit like you.”
“Oh, yes,” Dad said, clearly still picturing Fin’s drive-by. “It seems even criminals appreciate a good set of Christmas lights.”
Fin’s eyes widened as he made the connection. “So that’s your house?” he said, all smiles. “The one with the sleigh on the roof and the giant blow-up Santa?”
My parents nodded.
Fin turned his attention to me. “Why didn’t you say?”
“You mean it was you who drove by?” Mum asked. She leaned back in her seat, her relief evident. “Well that explains things.”