“Not at first. Remember when I said Annie had given me a gift?”
“You mean this was it?”
I nodded. “She’d told me all about you apparently, the night we were drowning our sorrows. Then clicked that I couldn’t remember a word of what she’d said. This was her idea of a joke.”
“Good old Annie,” Fin replied, smiling. “That’s just the kind of thing Elliott would have done.” He picked up the book and studied the blurb on the back cover, before flipping it over to the front. “I’ve always hated that photo,” he said.
“By then it was pretty obvious you weren’t going to mention your illustrious career. So, I hid that away and left things as they were.”
“I see.”
“No, Fin. I don’t think you do. If you did, you’d know that not everyone wants a piece of you. There are people out there happy to let you do what you do and be yourself. People like me.”
Fin smiled, looking at me with the same degree of intensity I’d seen before. “So why did you keep quiet?” he asked. “Most people would have blurted it out as soon as they realised.”
I giggled. “Like Mum, you mean.”
“I didn’t like to say, but yes.”
“A few reasons,” I replied. “Like you, I worried the dynamic between us would change. We seemed to be rubbing along nicely and as much as I want to be comfortable in my own home, you’re a guest so I want you to be comfortable too. Plus, if I’m honest, I didn’t want you to think I’m in any way like Roberta.”
“There’s no chance of that.”
“Good. Because I couldn’t fawn over anyone.” I took a sip of my wine, at the same time feeling the need to say something. “You do know how lucky you are though, don’t you? Because being on telly is the stuff of dreams for most people. That’s why you get the likes of Mum who are excited to meet you, as well as the Robertas who see an opportunity to get the life they’ve always fantasised about. I’m not saying it’s right that people behave a certain way, or that it’s easy to deal with a lot of the time. But you can understand it, can’t you?”
Fin stared at me again, before a gentle smile appeared on his lips. He got up from his seat, before hauling me onto my feet too. “You’re one special lady, do you know that?”
“I do. But thank you for acknowledging it.”
“Modest too.” Fin pulled me close. “I like that.”
I smiled, feeling his arms around my waist. “Enough to get back to where we were before Mum and Dad arrived?
Fin’s eyes lit up. “So you do want a piece of me?”
“Oh, yes,” I replied.
27
Two Days until Christmas
I began to awaken, the beginnings of a smile forming on my lips as I sleepily recalled the lustful night I’d shared with Fin. I’d enjoyed the best sex ever – was there no end to the man’s talents? I opened my eyes, my smile turning into a grin as I saw Fin, wide awake, staring back at me.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said.
For once I didn’t take Fin’s compliment as teasing. The previous night he’d proven he found me as attractive as I found him. He’d caressed, kissed, and taken pleasure in every flaw, lump and bump on my body. My smile turned naughty just thinking about it. As had I. Fin hadn’t just said I was beautiful, he’d made me feel it too. “Good morning.”
He leaned towards me and gave me a gentle, lingering kiss before speaking again. “Breakfast?” he asked.
I watched him climb out of bed and taking in his naked body, thought of better things to do than eat.
“I think we worked up quite an appetite last night,” he said, winking at me before heading out onto the landing. “Don’t you?”
I lay there, giggling about the night we’d had, unable to believe the only thing on Fin’s mind was food.
I listened to his bare feet padding along the wooden floorboards into the spare room, then back out and into the bathroom. I heard the shower switch on, and I smiled to myself as his voice rang out over the sound of the water running. I’d grown used to his serenades. A different Christmas carol every morning, that day I was treated to a rendition of O Christmas Tree.
While Fin continued to sing, I stretched myself out, feeling like the luckiest woman alive. Who’d have thought it? I silently asked. Finlay McCormack and me? However, growing fed up of my own company, I climbed out of bed. Smiling, I put on my dressing gown and telling myself that Fin, no doubt, was lonely too, I went to join him in the shower.
I wanted to pinch myself as I made my way down to the kitchen. I felt warm and fuzzy and I knew it was thanks to Fin. He made me feel valued, in a way no other man had done before. I paused in the doorway, taking a moment to observe Fin as he added quartered mushrooms and tomatoes to a pan of frying sliced onions. The whole dish smelt delicious and breathing in the aroma, I realised Fin was right. We had worked up an appetite. I wondered what he was thinking as he cooked. He wore a seriousness on his face. Then again he was an expert at work.
“There you are,” Fin said. At last clocking my presence, he replaced his earnestness with a smile. “Coffee?”
“Anything I can do to help?” I asked.
“Nope. Everything’s in hand.”
I took a seat at the table and while Fin turned his attention to poaching a couple of eggs, I couldn’t help but observe how at home he looked. I sighed. Fin wasn’t just a great cook, everything about the man seemed perfect and feeling a sense of contentment, I quite happily saw him as a permanent fixture. I was glad my Christmas plans hadn’t worked out. Fin’s presence beat sunning myself in the Caribbean and a home-alone staycation hands down and I imagined us in a proper relationship, doing all the things proper couples do.
A pang in my chest reminded me that no matter how many flights of fancy I had, Fin would be moving on soon. Not that I blamed the man. With a career like his, he, no doubt, had bigger and better places to be.
“You okay?” he asked. He placed my breakfast in front of me.
“Yes,” I replied, keeping my voice light. “Just thinking.”
He leaned down, kissed the top of my head and without saying another word sat down to eat too. He seemed preoccupied in his own thoughts again and I felt dread. He probably knew that I’d let my mind run away with me and couldn’t bring himself to tell me I was being daft; we had no future.
I picked my fork up and distracted myself by pushing my food around my plate. As wonderful as the meal looked, I was no longer in the mood for it. I snuck a peek at Fin, who sat observing me in return. He reached out, took my hand and gave it a squeeze. An action that felt more final than reassuring.
The front door sounded and as we both looked towards the hallway, Fin didn’t release his hold.
“It’s only us,” Vee called out. “Are you both decent?”
Fin stifled a laugh while I sat there, mortified. “It’s not funny,” I said, at the same time relieved the disquiet between us had been broken. I imagined Mum racing home after her visit, desperate to get straight on the phone to Vee, to share not just Fin’s identity, but also the fact that she and Dad had caught us half naked. “I should have known my parents wouldn’t be able keep things to themselves,” I said.