“About that,” I said. “I still haven’t properly talked to Fin about it, let alone decided on–”
“You have to come,” Vee said interrupting me.
I knew an act when I saw one.
“I need you there to help me and Mitch protect this one.” She rubbed her belly.
I laughed. “Please don’t start that again.”
My sister smiled. “I will if it means you’ll agree to come,” she said. “Why should we be the only ones to suffer? Besides you can’t say no. Mum and Dad are expecting you both. Plus Mum’s checking and re-checking the menu especially for Fin.”
Fin suddenly appeared, having let himself back in from the garden. “What’s being re-checked especially for me?” he asked.
He might have been smiling as he tucked his phone into his pocket but – unusual for him – his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. It seemed all wasn’t as well as Fin evidently tried to portray.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
He nodded, fast turning back to my sister and brother-in-law.
“The Christmas Day menu has a few additions this year,” Mitch replied. “You’re being honoured, mate.”
“I’ve told them we haven’t actually agreed to go yet,” I said, partly because I didn’t want Fin to feel bullied and partly because I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to attend.
“But why wouldn’t we?” he asked, instead.
My heart sank. I had hoped Fin would want to celebrate here at my house, just the two of us. I wanted to kick myself for letting my mind get carried away with itself that morning. I’d obviously freaked the man out. Fin, having realised what I was thinking, was plainly trying to distance himself.
“I’m happy to if you are?” Fin said to me. “I can’t think of anything better than a proper family Christmas.”
I reminded myself about what Annie had said regarding Fin’s parents. Aloof, she’d called them. I supposed Fin’s Christmases would have been polite affairs, nothing like the in-your-face celebrations I’d grown up with. If Fin’s parents had been distant, it was no wonder Fin preferred a livelier environment in which to celebrate. “Mum and Dad’s it is,” I said.
“Brilliant,” Vee said with a satisfied smile. “That’s settled.”
“You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for,” Mitch said to Fin.
Knowing my family, I could think of a myriad of things.
Fin gave me a fleeting glance, that I was sure I wasn’t meant to see. “I can’t wait to find out,” he replied.
With everyone else looking so happy, I tried to raise a smile. It seemed my Christmas holiday romance was coming to an end.
29
With Vee and Mitch gone, there was no hiding from the tension between Fin and me. Needing a distraction, I set about washing up the breakfast dishes.
Fin approached with a tea towel to dry them, his smile pinched as he picked up a plate and got on with it.
The atmosphere between us had changed. The fun and passion we’d experienced on waking up had been replaced by an edginess, as if both of us were aware of the inevitable but didn’t know how to behave because of it. I told myself that instead of being naïve and throwing caution to the wind, I should have realised if we jumped into bed together relations would become strained. I’d never been one for one-night stands or friends with benefits, so it stood to reason I’d end up wanting something Fin was in no position to give.
“Are you sure about going to Mum and Dad’s?” I asked. It would have been easy to stay quiet. To take Fin on his word and pretend he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. However, pushing my unease to one side, it felt only right I provided Fin with a way out. “There’s still time to change your mind.”
My question appeared to surprise Fin. “Don’t you want me there?” he asked.
Staring into the washing-up bowl, I wanted nothing more. “It’s not that,” I replied, unable to look at him. “Vee did put you on the spot a bit and then there’s last night to consider.” I made sure to keep my tone light. “I wouldn’t want you agreeing to something because you felt you had to.”
He put the tea towel down and taking my wet hands, pulled me round to face him. His expression showed concern, as if what I thought mattered. “Do you honestly think I’m the type of guy to sleep with a woman and run?” he asked.
I hoped not.
“Last night was special.” He searched my face. “Wasn’t it?”
I nodded.
“So, if you want to spend Christmas Day at your parents’ house, then I do too.”
Looking back at Fin, he appeared genuine, but I couldn’t shift the nagging doubt that all wasn’t as it should be. There had to be something the man wasn’t telling me. “Okay,” I replied.
“Besides, my first family Christmas in years, in a house that’s got so many lights I bet I could see it from space. Who’d say no to an opportunity like that?”
I chuckled. Most people thought my parents barmy for going all out the way they did, yet there was Fin positively loving it. I thought back to the previous Christmas when I’d had to put up with Jeremy’s not-so-well-disguised reluctance. I smiled. “Only if you’re sure?”
Fin looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I turned back to the washing up. “No reason.”
Fin pulled me round to face him for a second time. “Holly? What’s going on?”
My face crumpled. “You seem different,” I said. “We seem different. It’s as if you have something on your mind, but you can’t bring yourself to say it.”
Fin put a hand up to rub his forehead. “Okay. If you must know, there is something.”
I felt dread as he took my hand and led me over to the table. Sitting down, I steeled myself ready to experience the ultimate in embarrassment – getting dumped from a relationship that wasn’t even a relationship.
“That call just now,” Fin said, taking the seat next to me.
I stared down at my knees wondering if I was about to learn he had a wife and three kids after all.
“It was about work.”
I lifted my gaze to look at him, confused as to what that had to do with me and his change in attitude.
“I’ve been asked to front a new project. I had an idea the call was coming, it’s why I had to go to Leeds the other day.”
“Okay,” I said, my bewilderment continuing. “But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
Fin smiled. “I suppose it is, yes.”
“Another exciting project like Cooking Hell?”
“Not quite the same, but exciting nonetheless.”
I waited for him to expand, but he stayed quiet. “Well?” I asked, eager to know more.
“Well nothing.”
I rose to my feet, ready to get on with the washing up, at the same time insisting I didn’t care anyway. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” I said. “It’s not as if it’s any of my business.”
Fin took my hand, preventing me from moving. “It’s in America. The project. That’s where they’re sending me.”