Orion didn't respond.
Eva nodded. His mind was made up. Very well.
She could say all she needed to say. Maybe it wouldn't make a difference today, but maybe one day it would open a door to something unexpected.
“You’re judging them for doing something that is only natural. If it was your lands these cicadas, or whatever they are called, invaded, you and the Kyren would have done the exact same thing even if it meant breaking a promise.”
We would have fought to defend our lands.
Eva’s laugh was more of a scoff. “Not right away. You would have evacuated your young and weak before making any move against the enemy. Tell me you wouldn’t.”
He couldn’t, and he knew it.
The Kyren were a mystery to Eva in many ways, but in this case she knew how they’d react and what steps they would take. She’d said it before—they were a lot like the Trateri.
And like the Trateri, they would act to preserve their future before facing the threat head on. How could they blame the Trateri for doing the exact same thing?
No one ever said the Trateri were permanently abandoning the valley. Caden was more likely to retreat to protect their assets before returning to solve the threat.
Eva, there are things you don’t understand because we haven’t told you. Things that are happening below the surface. Until we have trust between our two peoples there is no way forward.
“You’re afraid,” Eva said in sudden understanding.
There was an undercurrent of the emotion running through every word Orion spoke. Subtle but there. Impossible to mistake once you knew where to look.
There was something in the situation she wasn’t seeing. A reason beyond what was said for their uneasiness.
The Trateri’s actions were just an excuse. A flimsy one at that.
The herd’s opinions on this matter are split. The only thing everyone agrees on is the fact the Trateri and the Kyren are being tested. We don’t know what the future will hold but for now the Kyren plan to watch and see what unfolds before deciding our course, Orion told her, his gaze penetrating.
And in so doing, they left the Trateri to face the danger alone.
Frustration boiled in Eva, making her bolder than she would have been normally. “I let fear control me far longer than I should have, and now you’re doing the same.”
Some days she wasn't sure she'd ever be fully free of its touch. Always expecting the worst of people.
She was doing it now, if she was honest. A part of her afraid that when she went back the Trateri would see her as useless and excise her.
"You judge the Trateri for what they might do rather than what they've actually done. That’s no way to live. By doing this, you’re giving your enemies exactly what they want.”
I'm sorry, Eva. This is the course we've chosen. Human lives have never concerned us. For the Kyren to act in the Trateri’s interests, we need a reason. So far you have given them no proof you can be the person we need you to be.
Eva’s gaze dropped to the ground as emotion strangled her throat. She didn’t understand. What’s more, she feared she would never understand.
If they would stop with all the cryptic words and simply tell her what was needed, she could work herself to the bone to provide it.
“This isn’t fair. You’re placing expectations on me without telling me what they are.”
I know. Orion took a step toward the edge and paused. You should know—I still hold hope you can find your way.
Orion's wings extended as he dropped, gliding through the air. His white coat shown in the night with an almost ethereal glow.
When he was gone, the dam Eva kept on her emotions cracked. Then broke.
Her breath shuddered in her chest. The tears she could no longer fight coursing down her cheeks. Grief and sorrow welled up inside. A loneliness that she'd thought was long gone.
Soon, Polaris or Danyon would come to retrieve her. She had until then to find her composure—and think up how she would break the news to the Trateri.
sixteen
Eva wasn't sure how long she stood thinking, lost in her thoughts before Polaris's arrival. This time he was alone.
A fact Eva was thankful for.
Her defenses lay in tatters on the ground around her. She wasn't up to dealing with Danyon's hostility or any of the baggage he brought with him.
Maybe later when she wasn't feeling so raw.
The whoosh of his wings announced his presence before she saw him. His hooves were loud in the quiet as he landed and picked his way toward her, taking the place where Orion had stood not too long ago.
"You heard, huh?"
There was a marked silence that Eva took as an answer.
Are you ready to head back?
Eva forced down her bitterness, her voice nearly cracking as she asked, "Could I have another moment?"
Just one more second before she had to deal with the fallout.
When she finally left this mountaintop, she would be doing so not as the Caller for the Kyren, liaison between the two peoples, but rather as Eva, the plain, unassuming tagalong.
Former herd mistress and a woman who was no longer certain of what her future contained.
Take your time.
The faint note of understanding in Polaris's voice made her smile.
Funny. All this time, she'd only sensed disapproval from him. Only now, when things were at an end, did he let her see something else.
Eva pushed the negative thoughts out of her mind, determined to imprint this scene into her memory. She needed to burn it into her mind so she wouldn't forget.
Not as a lesson of what happened when she took a chance but rather as a reminder of what wonders she might experience when she allowed herself to try.
True, she'd failed, but there were bright spots in the endeavor.
Who else could say they'd experienced flight? Or helped a Kyren bring new life into this world?
Even her visit to the temporary herd lands was something no human in living memory had ever experienced.
There was solace in those memories and Eva would do well not to forget it.
Eva stirred, feeling more centered. "Tell me one thing—will you keep Sebastian from seeing me?"
The loss of the Kyren was one thing. It hurt, but she would recover. Her relationship with them was still in the beginning stages, the bond never having had a chance to deepen.
And now never would.
Sebastian was different. They'd been through the fire together. Trusted each other. He was her friend. Kyren or not.
Losing him would hurt on a whole different level than losing the Kyren as a whole.
Members of the herd can choose to spend their time where they will.
Eva released the breath she'd been holding. That was something at least.
"Alright. I'm ready."
An intelligent gaze met hers. No, you're not.
Astute of him. But it didn't change what was coming. Eva would prefer to get it over with rather than dwell.
Do you fear the night? Polaris asked out of nowhere.
Eva's forehead wrinkled and shot him a perplexed frown.
Polaris looked back at her with a placid expression.
Eva started to answer and then hesitated, something warning her against flippancy. Her gaze turned distant as she gave the question serious consideration.
Was it the night she feared? Or rather what the night hid?