She didn't know.
"Sometimes," Eva finally settled on.
There was something about the night hours that had always drawn her. The time when the world was quiet and hushed, allowing a person to bask in their solitude as they reflected on their decisions.
The dark provided respite from the harsh light of day, softening a person's edges and giving them time to come to terms with their own inadequacies.
It was beautiful and fierce. And yes, sometimes it was dangerous.
But just because something fearsome may wait around the corner didn't mean she shouldn't enjoy the rest.
Eva sensed Polaris coming to some type of decision.
You came to us too early. Those of us who survived our incarceration in the Badlands haven't allowed the memories to fully fade, and you're a reminder of all that.
There was a pause as Polaris sank into thought.
Fate doesn't always operate on our time schedule, I've come to learn.
No, it did not. It would be far easier if it did.
You might have prevented this outcome had you allowed yourself to be trained, Polaris remonstrated Eva.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Your defenses are pitiful. A swarm as weak as the one you encountered should not have had that effect on you. Had you not lost consciousness, your lover wouldn't have been forced to take the actions he did. You could have sought council with the Kyren and avoided this whole chain of events.
Eva's anger changed to outrage. "Kind of hard to 'seek council' when there are no Kyren in sight."
And that is your first mistake.
"Enlighten me, oh knowledgeable one."
Eva didn't bother hiding her sarcasm. With the alliance finished, she didn't have to play nice anymore. It was the only silver lining in this situation.
How are you communicating with me right now? Is it with your voice?
Realization dawned as Eva's mouth flattened into a grim line.
No, it's with your mind.
As much as she wanted to defend herself, he was right.
I felt that first call of yours. Hundreds of miles between us and I still felt the pull of your need. Distance was never your problem.
Eva made a frustrated sound. "That was different. I panicked because Caden was dying. I have no idea how I put that call out."
Precisely why you should have sought training.
"Because the Kyren have been so welcoming," Eva shot back.
Did the Trateri give you an invitation or did you force your way into their ranks?
Eva paused to consider his words. Except for Ollie's first offer, she'd had to work for every ounce of respect.
Even Hardwick hadn't given his approval right away. It had been weeks before he so much as acknowledged her existence.
Still, she'd persisted. Sometimes shoving her way into situations where the Trateri made it clear they didn't want her.
Polaris saw he'd gotten through to her. I think we aren't the only ones having trouble with trust. You expected us to reject you which changed how you approached us. Am I wrong?
"No," Eva ground out.
Our ancestral herd lands already appeared to you. You're the one who didn't take that last step.
"I couldn't."
Why?
"I don't know."
Until you do, you will never have a place among us.
Eva flinched, feeling slightly shamed. Before, she could tell herself it wasn't her fault. That circumstances out of her hands had forced her into this corner. Polaris's argument twisted things around, leaving the brunt of the responsibility squarely on her shoulders.
The Kyren shared a portion of the blame, but he wasn't wrong when he said she could have done more.
It was so easy to see with the advantage of hindsight.
Polaris let out a frustrated snort. Close your eyes.
"Why?"
Because I'm going to teach you what you should already have known.
Eva didn't move for a long moment, reading Polaris's expression. There was sternness there, but she could also see sincerity. For whatever reason, he was taking pity on her.
Eva allowed her eyes to slip closed.
Good. Concentrate on what you see.
At first, Eva only saw the darkness of her own eyelids.
Gradually, she sunk into a place in her mind she rarely visited. Only chancing on its edges in moments of extreme desperation—like when Caden nearly died.
Pinpricks of light, much like that of stars, twinkled all around her. Their brightness varied. Some so strong they threatened to blind her. Others, faint.
Before Eva could do more than gape at the unexpected scene, she felt a sense of coolness under her feet.
She looked down to find herself standing in the middle of a lake, the water reflecting the brilliance of the starry night.
A petite woman with snarled blond hair stared back at her from a face that was gaunt and tired.
"This—" Eva's voice trailed off.
Tell me what you see.
"Stars. Countless numbers of them. A lake. My reflection."
What else?
Awe threatened to distract Eva before she shook it off, paying closer attention to the dreamscape.
Bright colors drew her notice upward, and she realized what she first thought were stars was something else entirely.
Rather than following the night sky she knew, the pinpricks of light were arranged in different patterns. Some spread out. Others clumped together.
"It's a map," she whispered.
Colorful flares of light danced along the black of night, shimmering and fading as they snaked across the sky in a brilliant display.
"I see waves of light," Eva said.
That is interesting.
Eva's eyes opened. "Why?"
It's a rare gift. One you will understand at a later time, Polaris said without explaining further. For now, you should focus on how to defend your lake and sky from intruders.
"How?"
How else does one protect themselves from invaders? By building walls.
Eva tried. She really did.
Only nothing worked. Frustration grew with each failed attempt.
Frustrated, she glared at her reflection in the lake. Why wasn't this working? After everything else that happened tonight, she couldn't walk away without figuring this out.
As if in response, something inside her relaxed. Ice crystallized beneath her feet, spreading in an ever-widening circle that stopped when it was about ten feet wide.
What did you do?
"I don't know. The lake is now covered in ice."
Your presence in my mind has faded. I can still feel you but not like I did.
Excitement lifted Eva's spirits. "Does that mean I did it?"
I think so.
The uncertainty in Polaris's voice wasn't exactly reassuring but Eva would take it.
It should be enough to protect you for now.
"And the rest?"
That's up to you to figure out.
Of course it was. Why did Eva expect anything else? Nothing ever came easy. This shouldn't be any different.
The feeling of smooth metal in her hand distracted Eva from her thoughts.
Surprised, Eva turned the object over. It had the shape of a sphere with interlocking loops. Eva pressed, not entirely surprised when the sphere collapsed into a ring before fading from sight.
Eva lifted her gaze to find Polaris staring at her with wise eyes. He lowered his mouth to lip at her empty hand.