Maybe he intends to honor the specific words of the bargain, but not the spirit of it. I’m sure there’s some clever loophole I’m not seeing. Something like him telling me what happened, but not why it happened. Or, gods, what’s to keep him from lying? His word? Don’t make me laugh.
Azazel is playing as many games as Ramanu.
Bram is still glowering at me in a way that makes me fight a shiver. I can’t even pretend it’s fear, when I can still clearly feel the memory of his tongue inside me. That, more than anything, gets my mouth running before I can think better of it. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell them what happened last night. They’re already aware I’m a problem child. Maybe you could’ve switched me out for a more compliant human.” I don’t know why I say it. If I wanted to go back to the bargainer territory, I would have taken Ramanu up on their offer.
He moves to stand between me and the door “You’re right. If they knew you were trying to escape, they would take you from me.”
He’s only echoing my own thoughts. It still feels like a slap in the face. “Yes, I believe that is exactly what I just said,” I snap.
He doesn’t move toward me, but the way he shifts his wings makes the room feel significantly smaller. “We discussed this last night, Grace. This is between you and me. You can try to escape to your heart’s content. I will track you down and bring you back to my bed every single time.” Without another word, he turns and walks out of my room, shutting the door softly behind him.
11
BRAM
I’m not remotely surprised to find Ramanu waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase. They lean against the wall, the very essence of unconcerned. It’s a lie. I can see the threads of gray worry flickering through their energy. I’ve had enough interactions with them over the years to know they can hide their emotions when they feel the need, so they’re intentionally letting me know. One of their parents is a distant cousin of mine, and that should be enough to create a bond between us, but Ramanu is too cunning to trust. They always seem to be playing games at a level beyond anyone else in the room.
It irks me.
“You haven’t told her about what happened to your family.”
Even expecting this conversational turn, I have to fight to keep from snarling. I don’t have a problem with Ramanu normally, but finding them in Grace’s bed has not endeared them to me in the least. “I told her what she needs to know.”
They shake their head slowly. “I argued against this. You’ve got too much baggage when it comes to humans, and while Grace is hardly a normal human, the fact remains that she is in danger every moment she spends with you. You can read my emotions. I can read yours. Let’s not dance around this. You’re a danger to yourself, Bram, and if you’re careless with yourself, you could hurt Grace.”
They aren’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean I’ll admit as much out loud. “I would never hurt Grace.” I can’t argue that I’m not a danger to myself, because I am. I can’t even pretend I’m not a danger to others, because while I might never intend to hurt those around me, my cowardice ensures I’ll never help them either.
“Maybe. Maybe not.” All the playfulness is gone from their voice, leaving only a hard edge. “Azazel may have agreed to this bargain, but part of that agreement is regular check-ins with me to ensure Grace’s well-being. I don’t know what the fuck happened with the two of you, but if she’s still twisted up the next time I come, I will take serious consideration into removing her from your care. Regardless of whether or not she wants to leave.”
Fury unlike I’ve ever known surges through me. “I respect you and what you’re doing here, but if you attempt to remove Grace from my home, I will cut you into tiny pieces and scatter you to the winds.”
Curiosity twines with their worry. “Fascinating. I expected most of your determination to be sheer stubbornness, but you genuinely have a connection with this human.” They give themself a shake. “Very well. I’ll be back at some point in the near future to check on the status of things. I highly recommend you tell her the truth. The full truth. She might surprise you.”
“What does it matter if I be the one to tell her?”
“Trust me. It does.”
That means less than nothing to me. “Goodbye, Ramanu.” I wait for them to teleport out before turning and walking back toward the staircase. It’s easy for them to give advice when they’re not in the midst of this. Not the way I am. Not the way Grace is.
I never would’ve chosen the way things fell out last night, not if I hadn’t lost control. But the fact remains that Grace could have killed me and put an end to it . . . and she chose not to. I’m sure she had her reasons—I’m not naive enough to think that pure desire drove her—but I read her emotions, and desire was at the forefront in the bath last night.
I’ve already told her more about my family than I would’ve told a new acquaintance. She knows they’re gone, and Ramanu disclosed plenty of the rest just now. What does it matter that the reason they’re dead is because a human murdered them? That I didn’t help them because I was too afraid? There’s no reason to take a deep dive into my past trauma. It won’t solve anything, and if she looks at me with pity or disgust, that might be the thing that finally breaks me.
Better to focus on the future.
Footsteps bring my head up in time to see Grace descending the stairs, a stubborn look on her face. I don’t know what it says about me that I welcome the coming confrontation. I hold perfectly still and wait for her to reach me. It doesn’t take long.
She stops several steps above me, leaving our faces almost even. “I think we got off to the wrong start.”
That startles a laugh out of me. “What gave that impression?”
“I have no desire to fight you every day through the next seven years.” She narrows her eyes at me, and I get that distinct impression that she’s trying to read me. “I won’t say I’m not sympathetic to your situation, but under no circumstances am I having a child with you that I will leave in the demon realm.”
Seven years gives me a long time to change her mind, but I get the feeling there’s no changing the resolve coming off her in waves. That should be enough for me to take Azazel up on his offer to switch out Grace for another human who would be more accommodating. It’s the smart thing to do. The action that will further my goals and get me out of this desperate situation.
I . . . don’t want to.
“I’ll get the birth control pendant for you today and explain how it works.” I study her just as closely as she’s studying me. “But I’m not going to stop trying to convince you to see things my way.”
She flares a bright pink before she gets herself under control. My Grace seems to like the battle just as much as I’m starting to. I don’t understand it. Up until this point, all my encounters with lovers had been soft, caring. At least until what happened to my family ensured I had no partners to choose from. There was never this fury, this willingness to draw a line and then promptly step over it in the name of dominance.