The Do-Over(46)
Author: Suzanne Park
The remaining fifteen minutes was an open Q&A for the live audience and for the virtual participants streaming the event on the bookstore’s website. The first question was from a guest in the front row: What are you all working on now?
I let the O’Haras speak first and used that time to rack my brain for an answer. Word would definitely get back to my editor, and since I’d been giving Katherine and the editorial assistant, Amanda, vague non-updates the last couple of months while I was studying at Carlthorpe, my publishing team was probably just as eager to hear how close I was to turning in my next project as everyone else in the audience. Mary O’Hara said she wanted to write a new book about philanthropy and was researching foundations. Cameron said he was going to set up meetings with some “buddies of his in Hollywood” to see if his book had movie potential. The audience didn’t sound surprised by either of their answers.
My turn. “I don’t want to give away too much, but I’ve been spending a lot of time researching the pursuit of dream jobs. It’s taken me longer than I’d hoped to write this next one, and I’ve been distracted with personal matters lately, but I’m hoping to have time in the next few weeks to hunker down and get it all down on paper.” Mia had been updating my social media accounts with generic posts about finding inspiration, replenishing your creative well, and getting out of career ruts. If anyone was following me, they would see those messages aligning with what I’d just shared with the crowd.
The next question was from a former teacher of the O’Haras. “Where’s your favorite place to write?”
Mary offered my typical answer: in coffee shops. Cameron said, not even joking, on his yacht.
I responded, “I love a good coffee shop too. It really awakens all of my senses, and I can’t get enough of that ground coffee aroma. I wish someone could sell this scent as a candle. But I also love libraries, I’ve been spending a lot of time in them lately.”
“The New York Public Library?” Cameron’s thick caterpillar brow quirked up.
I sidestepped his question. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“I’ll have to try it sometime, I guess.” I couldn’t picture that at all. I could, however, picture Cameron building a fancy library, each shelf filled with his own coauthored books, on his yacht.
The event manager chirped, “We have time for one more question from the in-person audience, and then we’ll see if we have time to take a few from the virtual viewers. Feel free to add comments or questions in the chat.” She pointed to an Asian woman in the front row.
“Hi, thank you so much. I’m Haley Cha.” She cleared her throat. “What inspired you to write your book? Or in Ms. Lee’s case, the first book in her series?”
Mary gestured for me to go first, but not surprisingly, Cameron started speaking. “I hadn’t seen anyone write a book from a perspective like ours. Mary and I wanted this to be like a ‘mentorship in a book’ for people just started out in their careers, giving real-life, practical, actionable advice that works, as well as offering perspectives of others who also had to build their careers from the ground up.”
His words hit me like uppercut jabs to the chin. He had said nearly verbatim what I’d expressed to Mary and him in confidence when we met in person. It was low, not only to take words from other people’s mouths and pretend they were your own, but to not give me credit either? This was absolute bullshit. And he wasn’t going to get away with it.
Mary jumped in, her voice wavering. “Just wanted to add that these views were originally shared by Lily, who really is our beacon of light. We’re following the path she already forged with hard work, sweat, and tears, so we really appreciate that.”
“Thank you, Mary. Cameron took the words right out of my mouth. Literally.” I shot a look at Cameron, who didn’t even blink an eye after plagiarizing a sound bite from my previous conversation with him, pretending it was his own unique insight. “I think we’re nearly out of time, but if anyone would like to ask me follow-up questions, I’d be happy to stay a few minutes after the event to answer them.” My fists shook with anger as I tried to calm my erratic, slightly panicked breathing.
I glanced at my purse. There were prescription pills in the zippered side pocket for emergency use only. Hopefully I wouldn’t need them.
The events manager chirped, “Unfortunately, it looks like we are over time actually. But we have a few quick comments from the virtual event-goers. ‘Good luck with your launch, Cam and Mary,’ that’s from Mrs. Murphy, the chief people officer at the O’Hara Holding Company. Lots of people are saying hi and thank you to Lily, for being an inspiration to women everywhere.”
I blushed. “Thank you!” I responded cheerily.
“One more comment, from Lily’s mom.”
My stomach lurched. Oh no.
“She says ‘Daebak! Lily, please call home soon.’”
Chuckles rippled across the live audience. I laughed too.
“She also says, ‘Good luck with your studying.’ I’m not sure what she means by that.”
Oh shit.
The crowd noticeably quieted, giving me very little time to think on my feet with an explanation. “Thanks for watching, Mom.” I smiled at the audience. “As usual, she’s trying to keep me on task. I’m sure she’s referring to all the research and writing for my new book. It feels very academic.” My body temperature rose as I spoke. My skin was burning with discomfort.
The audience clapped as we stood and made our way off the stage. Cameron approached a group of women from London Business School, and as I walked to the buffet table to grab a bottle of water, I heard Cam say out loud to all of them, “I agree, Lily’s latest book is primarily geared toward women of color, but I’d argue that our book could be too. I mean, who better to provide advice on how to make it in a white man’s world than a successful white man?”
Did he seriously just say that to a group of professional women? Cam was like a caricature of a cocky, privileged stock character in a mainstream sitcom, but I knew as well as anyone that these guys really did exist in the real world. I’d encountered plenty of them, and they really did get their way most of the time, both in academia and in the corporate world, resting on their laurels of mediocrity. They delegated work and took credit. They rephrased ideas in meetings and were touted as the smartest ones in the room. Senior-level executives, both men and women alike, in most industries routinely offered the Camerons of the world unlimited chances to shine, but were more rigid and scrutinizing of others who didn’t fit that demographic.