The Do-Over(58)
Author: Suzanne Park

 

She took a deep breath and wiped her cheeks. “Let’s do damage control and go from there. What do we tackle first? What worries you the most?”

 

I sniffled and closed my eyes. “God, so many things. Everyone thinks I’m a hack without giving me a chance for a rebuttal. What if my publisher cancels my contract now? And Solv rejects me because of this? What if I’ve jeopardized my graduation again? And shit, what about my parents?” There was no hierarchy to this list. Everything was equally terrible in its own way, and all the possibilities had increased in likelihood tenfold since morning.

 

Mia asked, “Are you going to tell your parents?”

 

My shoulders slumped. “I didn’t even think about that. I have to, right?”

 

“They might guilt-trip you if you don’t, but I think you should tell them when you’re ready, aiming for sooner rather than later. Otherwise they’ll hear it from someone else.”

 

By guilt-trip, Mia meant that my mom and dad would scold me about how they came to the United States when they were in their twenties, fighting for survival and trying to obtain the American dream, only to have me waste time and opportunities. They would read this as my being careless, not appreciating their ultimate immigrant sacrifice, disrespecting them with each and every failure. And having a thirty-something daughter without a college degree? The ultimate disgrace.

 

It was as if my life had been hit by an 8.0 earthquake, and all I wanted right now was a sliver of hope, a sign that maybe things would work out. I needed something, anything, to believe in. Maybe with that I could see past the wreckage around me.

 

Mia added, “There are probably other people you want to tell first.”

 

Mia would tell Beth, so it came down to me to let the one person I didn’t want to be vulnerable around know about my media exposure.

 

Truthfully, I wanted to tell him, even if Mia hadn’t prodded me. I missed him. And the more time that passed, the more distant Jake and I had become.

 

I dialed his number. Once upon a time, Jake had promised me that he’d always pick up when I called. What a dumb thing for me to remember and hold sacred after all these years.

 

An unmistakable feeling of my chest tightening returned. Hello again, anxiety.

 

After three long rings, I heard his voice crackle through the speaker.

 

“You’ve reached the voice mail of Jacob Cho. Sorry I missed your call. If you’d like to leave a message—”

 

My lungs wouldn’t fully expand, which cut off my breathing. I hung up.

 

Mia whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

 

My phone rang before I could respond.

 

It was Jake.

 

There was agitation in his voice when I answered. “Hey, I’m walking into an important meeting, but saw you called. Sorry I missed it, the ringer was silenced and I had a feeling that I needed to check my phone when you called. Is it important? Or did you butt dial me by accident?”

 

It wasn’t exactly the movie montage response I wanted, but it was better than getting his voice mail. And the last thing I wanted was to sabotage whatever meeting he had already lined up. But he gave me what I needed at a time I needed him the most.

 

Hope.

 

“It’s important, but I think it can wait,” I said softly.

 

“Are you sure? It’s too late for me to reschedule my thing right now, but if it’s an emergency, I can try. This might sound ridiculous, but a long time ago I made a promise to you that if you ever called—”

 

“I remember,” I whispered.

 

“You do?” he asked, breathing hard.

 

I smiled. “Yes. And thank you. I’ll be fine for now. Good luck with your meeting.”

 

“Thanks. It’s a make-or-break moment for me, I’ll tell you about if it’s make instead of break. I’ll be tied up today but I’ll call you soon, I promise.”

 

He promised. I glanced at Mia when I hung up. Her mouth tugged at the corners as she spoke. “That sounded optimistic. While you were on the phone, I came up with a couple of ideas I want to run by you. And Beth texted me . . . she’ll be popping in here shortly.”

 

Good, I could use some of Beth’s optimism. Hopefully without the whistle.

 

She entered my room carrying a two-tiered frosted chocolate cake. No one had ever entered my room with a two-tiered frosted chocolate cake, but I hoped it wouldn’t be the last time. It solved none of my immediate problems and I wasn’t really hungry, especially after eating so much dessert the night before, but seeing the cake and Beth’s smiling face distracted me enough to help me recognize that I had friends in my corner. My heart fluttered in my chest as Beth set the dessert down.

 

“I procrasti-baked this brownie cake this morning, maybe my roomie ESP was telling me something.” She smiled as she tipped her creation a little so I could see the inscription: We Believe. “I ran out of icing. It’s supposed to say ‘We Believe in You!’”

 

Mia hugged Beth. “It’s beautiful and perfect.”

 

Blushing hard, Beth said, “Thank you. I stayed up all night working on my grad school applications after we drank and I made the brownie layers this morning. I was just going to freeze it for later, but what good timing! I thought you could use some cheering up, and who doesn’t love a brownie cake?”

 

“Wait, you’re not hungover?” Mia asked.

 

She shrugged and sliced into the top layer, revealing chewy, chocolatey goodness. “Good genes, I guess.”

 

Good genes, and a young, sprightly body. Her hydrated skin had the elasticity of a TRX strength band, despite all the Diet Coke she drank. “Your brownie cake is gorgeous, inside and out. Just like you, Beth,” I said.

 

Mia placed one of the slices on a small paper plate and took a bite. “Oh my God, Beth. I thought I couldn’t stand looking at this after last night, but this is to die for. I really need you to bake for all my PR events. Let’s talk later, when all of this blows over.”

 

“You really think this can blow over?” I asked with a wavering voice.

 

She licked frosting off her fork. “Have I seen worse than this in my line of work? Maybe not. But I have a few ideas now that the shock has worn off a little. Things are going to be bad for a while until the dust settles, so there won’t be much down time or”—Mia looked down at her plate—“leisurely eating. But let’s eat our brunch brownie cake and brainstorm together, and we can start putting things in motion. How does that sound?”