Because...
Because Rosalind rarely talked about the past, seemed eager to forget it entirely.
Besides, there was something daunting about that kind of secret—one that struck at the very heart of Reagan’s identity and could possibly reveal a side of her mother she never knew existed.
Reagan wanted to figure out a few things first, feel confident that she had some answers of her own. She had open-heart surgery a month ago. Is still recovering.
I’m sorry to hear that. But maybe she’s been carrying this secret around for a long time and will find it a bit of a relief that you know.
That was a wise and balanced thing to say. She was impressed. But he had no idea how difficult her mother could be.
Why was she discussing this with him in the first place?
She supposed she needed someone to talk to who didn’t know her family or friends. That way, if he had loose lips it couldn’t be a threat to her. If it would be a relief, I think she would’ve told me.
I’ll take your word for it.
My life is complicated, she wrote, out of nowhere. In her current situation, basic honesty demanded it.
Are you trying to warn me away?
Maybe. Is it working?
Everyone’s life is complicated.
Is yours?
Would you ghost me if I said yes?
She frowned at his response. Although she wouldn’t have believed a denial, she would’ve preferred one. That depends on how complicated.
Fair enough. Before you count me out, let’s have a meal together, see if my imperfect meshes with your imperfect.
Why haven’t you given up on me?
Because I haven’t been able to forget the beautiful brunette I saw at the gala a few weeks ago.
She allowed herself a reluctant smile. She had to give him points for flattery and persistence. Okay. You ARE a glutton for punishment.
No. Just too confident to believe you won’t ultimately like me.
She laughed when she saw that after she’d thrown a version of his words back at him, he’d done the same to her.
So will you really contact me when you get back? he asked.
If you’ll tell me a little about your situation, I can answer that more honestly.
Ask away.
Do you still have a job?
Yes. Still an architect. Since I own the company and have been in business for twenty years, I think I’m going to stick it out.
Twenty years? That meant he was probably in his forties... Are you married? Divorced?
Married?
You never know...
You make saying I’m divorced feel good.
Any kids?
One teenage son—a junior in high school. I hope kids are allowed because he’s nonnegotiable.
Exactly what I would expect of a good dad. I have nothing against kids.
What about you? What’s your situation?
Never been married. No children.
Do you want a family? he asked.
I don’t know. Are you done having kids?
Some days I think yes. Other days I’d like a second chance to have a family that will last. So I’ll go with undecided.
She wanted to ask why his first marriage hadn’t survived, but it was too soon for that. He’d probably just blame his ex. That was what most people did.
Besides, her phone started beeping. Drew was trying to call in.
She stared at the picture she’d connected to his number—his handsome face, his Hollywood smile—which was covering her texts with Rally.
She desperately wanted to let Drew tell her they could undo what they’d done and continue working together, somehow pretend it had never happened.
But even if he said the words, she’d know they weren’t true. Sex with Drew had been one of the most all-consuming, enjoyable experiences of her life. They’d finally acted on what they’d been feeling for so long, and it had been an unparalleled release.
“Reagan, would you like a drink?” Serenity asked, calling up from below.
She’d stayed in her room for too long. She needed to go downstairs and be social, or at least help with dinner. She couldn’t withdraw and sleep for the next seven days, even if it was what she felt like doing.
“Sure. I’m coming,” she called back. But then her eyes returned to her phone and that incoming call from Drew.
Undecided will work. I have to go. We’ll talk more later, she texted to Rally.
By then, Drew’s call had transferred to her voice mail. She experienced a wave of relief when it did—but also a sharp jab of remorse. So when he called right back, she couldn’t resist answering. She had to hear his voice.
“Hello?...Hello?...Reagan, would you please answer? We need to talk.”
His name was on the tip of her tongue—along with so many other comments and questions.
But she forced herself to hit the End button without saying anything at all.
6
lorelei
NO MATTER WHAT Reagan and Serenity were doing—chatting, laughing, moving about the cabin or smiling at Lucy—Lorelei couldn’t help surreptitiously watching them. She felt like a sponge, soaking in every possible detail. She memorized their facial expressions, the sounds of their voices, their body movements. They were the only people she’d ever found who were genetically connected to her—besides Lucy, of course—and after seeking that familial connection for so long, it felt strange to be in their presence at last.
After Mark’s litany about how some people—a lot of people, at least the ones she’d met so far in her life—could be more of a curse than a blessing, however, and with what she’d learned about Reagan so far, she was hesitant to fully embrace them. She wasn’t resilient enough to take much of a risk right now, and she knew it. Not only had Mark destroyed the foundation on which she’d built her life, he’d destroyed any confidence she had in her ability to be loved.
So she was afraid—of loving the wrong person, of being rejected again, of being sorry she’d taken this risk.
Would coming here turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing?
She’d had enough bad things happen lately...
“Would you mind helping Reagan set the table?” Serenity asked, motioning to a drawer where Lorelei supposed she’d find the silverware.
“Of course not,” she said. Lucy was up on her knees at the kitchen table, putting together a puzzle Serenity had found in a box of old toys stored in the extra bedroom, which left Lorelei free to contribute. She was actually tempted to take over making the soup. Judging by the awkward way her sisters chopped the vegetables, she could tell that neither Serenity nor Reagan had much skill in the kitchen.