Was Uncle Vance Serenity’s father? Lorelei’s and Reagan’s, too?
Your uncle Vance is always in a new relationship. I don’t even pay attention anymore. He’s never been with the same woman for more than three years.
Serenity wished she could decide if it was bitterness instead of simple disgust she’d heard in her mother’s voice. If Uncle Vance had caused her to break her marriage vows to a good man, a man who was everything Uncle Vance was not, she could understand why Charlotte might hold some resentment toward him.
But Serenity had seen Uncle Vance at various dinners and other family functions through the years. If he was her father, wouldn’t her mother have avoided going to any events where she knew he’d be present?
Not necessarily, she decided. Perhaps Charlotte had feared that would create suspicion.
In any case, if Charlotte had been uncomfortable when he was around, Serenity hadn’t picked up on it.
And what about Uncle Vance’s relationship with Serenity’s father? Did Chuck give his brother money whenever Vance was down and out because he was afraid Vance might say something to Serenity or someone else in the family?
That would be blackmail! Assuming her father knew, of course. The letter suggested he didn’t. In that case, what would it do to him to find out?
What would it do to everyone else in the family?
Uncertainty and worry congealed in the pit of Serenity’s stomach like a lump of bacon grease. She should’ve left this alone, steered clear of it entirely. After the past eighteen months, she was already disillusioned when it came to love and trust. She didn’t want to become as bitter and uncertain about her mother as she was about her ex-husband.
She also didn’t want to feel that her father had any reason to love her less than her siblings, or that Beau and the twins would no longer consider their relationship with her to be as important to them as their relationship to each other. Would learning she belonged to Uncle Vance suddenly push her outside the safe, warm circle of familial support she’d always taken for granted? Make her an outsider?
The letter she’d found raised so many questions. As difficult as it had been to learn, when Lorelei first contacted her, that her father might not be her biological father, it was even more difficult to imagine Vance taking his place. Vance wasn’t anyone she could respect. He was someone everyone else murmured about and discounted because he couldn’t keep his shit together. And he was part of their extended family, no less, making it all the more scandalous.
“Thank God I didn’t say anything,” she said aloud. If she’d mentioned her two half sisters to her parents, her mother’s secret—if there was a secret—would have been out. And although the secret was as old as Serenity, the sheer magnitude of such a lie could cause all kinds of problems. A divorce. Doubt and insecurity that persisted well into the future. Barriers and estrangement—not only between Chuck and Charlotte, or Serenity and Chuck and Charlotte, but between Serenity and the siblings she’d grown up with. It didn’t necessarily matter who’d been in the right and who’d been in the wrong thirty-five years ago. The twins or Beau could easily take their mother’s side. Loyalty was a strange thing. Who could say exactly how they’d interpret the situation? They could claim everyone made mistakes, that Charlotte had been an amazing mother. That was true. They could also argue that their father must’ve done something to leave her vulnerable to their uncle’s advances, or it would never have happened.
If it came to a split between her parents, and they were each grappling for support, whose side would she be on? Serenity wondered. Given what her mother might’ve done, Charlotte wasn’t the obvious choice, but it would be weird to take her father’s side if he wasn’t even her father.
“This just gets better and better,” she muttered.
“What, Aunt Serenity?”
Serenity lifted her head to see Lucy standing in her room. “You’re up?” Serenity hadn’t heard the door open.
“Yeah,” she said.
Serenity couldn’t help feeling slightly irritated. “Where’s your mother? Is she still sleeping?”
Lucy seemed slightly confused by Serenity’s tone and expression, which wasn’t welcoming, but she didn’t leave. “She’s in the shower...”
If Lorelei was in the shower she obviously wasn’t going to step into the room and lead Lucy away, not immediately.
Serenity nearly told her niece to go out and close the door and let her sleep. She’d had a terrible night, and she was having a terrible morning. The more she thought about her mother and Uncle Vance together, the more upset she became. Her two new sisters were putting the family she’d always had at risk, and it was hard not to resent them for it. After all, if Lorelei had never contacted her, Serenity would still be blissfully unaware of the whole thing.
But as soon as she opened her mouth to send Lucy away, she noticed that her niece was carrying something—a book. “What do you have there?” she asked.
Lucy turned it to show Serenity the cover. It was the copy of Are You My Mother? Serenity had read to her before.
The sight of it washed away Serenity’s irritation and brought a wave of guilt. She couldn’t blame Lorelei for reaching out to her, searching for family. In a world where it was so easy to become anonymous, invisible, just another face in the crowd, wouldn’t anyone crave those bonds? Have the desire to feel a bit more important to at least a small group of people?
It wasn’t Lorelei’s fault—or Reagan’s or Lucy’s, either—that they were in this position, and as difficult as things might get, Serenity needed to remember that.
Lifting the bedcovers, she patted the mattress beside her, and that was all the invitation Lucy needed. Her dimples flashed as she scampered over and climbed in beside Serenity, careful to help her cover them both before settling back and handing over the book.
Serenity read Are You My Mother? four times before Lucy had had enough. They were deep in a discussion about whether the gulls at the lake had mothers, too, when Lorelei called for her daughter.
“I have to go,” Lucy said as though she knew she was somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be. But she allowed Serenity to pull her in for a quick hug and a kiss before she scrambled out of bed and hurried down the hall.
“I’m here,” Serenity heard her call back.
When she was gone, Serenity got up and put the letter she’d found in her purse. She hadn’t told Lorelei or Reagan about it. She was afraid that speaking the words would somehow make them true.
* * *
lorelei
I miss you. Will you come home? Please?
Lorelei was with Finn when that text from Mark popped up on her phone. She glanced at it, then lifted the lightweight, oversize sweater she was wearing and put her phone back in the pocket of her yoga pants.