‘And what then?’ she said. ‘What about the work that we’ve done? And where would we go? Marcus, you’re not thinking clearly. We knew the danger when we came on this mission.’
‘Why did you say it? Why did you say it was you? I could’ve taken the blame.’
‘You need to finish the work that we are compelled to do. Don’t you see, my love? If you don’t finish this work, if you don’t do what you’re meant to do, many lives could be lost, not just mine.’
‘But how will I live without you? How will I go on?’ Marcus started to sob.
She took his face gently in her hands, and kissed away his tears.
‘You will go on, Marcus, because you are the strongest, bravest person I have ever known. You have already sacrificed so much. This is such an important time. If the Allies are here you are needed more than ever. Your diversionary tactics may be all that stand between the Allies and a slaughter. If you walked away now, everything you have worked so hard to achieve could all be in vain. We are two tiny people in this vast and crazy war, with no idea of what effect we are having, but I do know this is important. Your ability to continue to work is paramount and has the potential to save thousands of lives and help end this madness. You would have killed Terrier. And only now do I truly see why that needed to be. So, you will kill me tomorrow and then you will continue to do the work you’re meant to do. I have just one thing to ask you.’
He pulled her in again, held her so closely she could barely breathe. ‘Anything,’ he whispered in her ear.
‘Please, after this is over, go back to England and make sure my family know I was not a traitor. I do not want them to live with that black mark against their name. It has been the hardest thing for me, knowing how they must feel about me. Would you do that for me, Marcus? I need you to stay alive to do this—’
He interrupted her. ‘You’ll be able to tell them yourself. My plan will work.’
‘What if they get hold of you and torture you too?’
‘They won’t do that. Besides, I always have my suicide pill.’ He had removed it from his tooth and had placed it in his breast pocket, where he tapped it.
She was shocked. ‘Why do you have that ready?’
‘Because if for some reason you die, I will not live. I will die with you.’
‘Marcus, you have to be brave.’
‘I cannot be without you by my side.’ He clung onto her, wrenching sobs making his chest heave.
‘You can’t do this, Marcus…’
There was a knock at the door, and a guard opened it.
‘Major Vonstein, someone is coming. It is rumoured to be Major Weissman himself to check on the prisoner.’
Marcus kissed her one last time, his tears dripping down his face and soaking hers. Then, gently brushing his hand down her cheek and looking deep into her eyes he was gone.
While Vivi was alone in her cell, she sat and thought. She thought about all that they had achieved and how she’d never known Marcus not to be strong. One thing Vivi knew for sure as she lay there was that she was going to die tomorrow and she could not let Marcus take his life. She was surprised how calm she felt about it, as if she had always known this would be her fate. There was still so much to do. And everything they had done for the Resistance would be revealed, and would be worthless, if Marcus didn’t do his job. But she knew she was the only one thinking straight. So Vivi came up with a plan of her own.
37
The next morning, Weissman came to see her bright and early. ‘It’s the sixth of June 1944, my dear. Not many of us know the day we’ll die, but you do, and then we will see if your boyfriend is who he says he is. I look forward to attending your execution,’ he added coldly.
He left her then, and Vivi’s whole body shook with the cold and the fear. She would never see England again. She would never see her family again. She would never play with Tom, read books with John, or laugh with her sister. This was it. She was going to die. But more than anything, she couldn’t bear the thought of being anywhere – even Heaven – without Marcus.
Vivi’s thoughts drifted to when she’d been at school and a teacher admonished her because of her spelling, informing her she would never do anything of any significance in life. While this wasn’t exactly what she’d planned, Vivi hoped that her modest part in the war effort would save lives.
Terrier’s smiling face swam into her memory, and tears filled her eyes as she thought of his words, ‘I want to go out in a blaze of glory. I would rather live a short but exciting life than die of boredom in obscurity.’ Is that what she was choosing? To die in a blaze of glory? It sounded so much grander in word than the reality of this cold dark cell where she would spend her final hours. Vivi was pretty sure there would be no monument erected in her honour as Terrier had suggested for himself. No one but God and Marcus knew what she was doing, and things had happened so fast she had been unable to follow up on the wireless transmission she had sent to England. She thought of Anne-Marie, wherever she was, probably in hiding, mourning the death of her brother. She thought of the Renoirs in Paris and how they had given her a place to live and a family. Where were they now?
Vivi was convinced of what she needed to do. She needed to die to pay the price of so many people who had been killed because of her. She may not have always been courageous, but she could be now.
Suddenly her thoughts returned to that time on the boat when Mr Thompson had turned to her and told her she would find the courage when she needed it. She knew more than ever she needed it now, and she hoped with all of her heart that she could go through with it so that Marcus could finish the work they’d started. One thing she knew: no matter what transpired, she would die today.
When they came for her that morning, her whole body was shaking, betraying her relentless inner courage, but she was ready. It amazed her she’d survived this long. Many operators barely lasted weeks. If she were still with SOE, she’d probably have been dead by now, anyway. At least this way she could help the Allies, by keeping Marcus’s cover. As they marched her to the square, there was considerable commotion around her, and she overheard two of the soldiers talking to another as they positioned her in front of a wall. They were saying there was a substantial advance on the Normandy beaches taking place. Vivi felt relief. It had started. The Allies had made it to France.
Marcus needed to stay alive even more now, to continue the confusion that needed to take place so the invasion would be successful. Vivi felt a sense of pride. She had put her country first. She had done the right thing for Britain. She found those feelings of patriotism washing away the dread that was throbbing through her body.
When Marcus arrived he looked terrible, as if he hadn’t slept all night. Two other soldiers flanked him and also Weissman. Vivi knew the Germans always executed people with more than one person armed, just in case one of them lost their nerve.
Marcus walked to the centre of the courtyard. She saw him stealthily touch his breast pocket – the suicide pill. He had meant what he said. If for some reason it went wrong, and they killed her, he would take his own life. Vivi knew the capsule had to be cracked between his teeth to release the cyanide.
He strode up to her, the two guards by his side. It appeared by their scrutiny that Weissman had told the others to maintain a good eye on him. As he looked to her, he signalled with his eyes to the gate at the end of the square, informing her that his plan was in place. She nodded, going along with what he was suggesting, but she had her own plan now.