As they rode in the taxi to the airport, Sophie felt lonelier than ever. It’d been hard enough when she and Matt had finished, but the alienation between her and Alex echoed because it was the reverberation of a relationship unfulfilled and tinged with so much regret. He, too, seemed thoughtful.
Her flight was leaving first, at 8 a.m., and he helped with her baggage and to check in. When they arrived at passport control, she turned to say goodbye. Sophie had decided to give him a quick hug and then to turn and get on her plane, but instead she was caught by his expression, which was communicating a profound longing and sadness.
‘Look, Sophie, I know things have been extremely challenging for us both, but I want you to know something. I am not Marcus Vonstein, I am Alex Vonstein. I don’t know what this is between us, if it is anything yet, but I will tell you one thing: it feels as if something remarkable is possible. Something we shouldn’t just walk away from without giving it more thought. And I’m leaving the door open, Sophie, because I don’t give away my heart easily. I’m not a serial dater. I don’t have the energy for trying people on like shoes, or swiping on Tinder. But this just doesn’t feel like that. This feels like something extraordinary, like the world conspired for us to be together. I know that sounds crazy.’ He smiled. ‘But think about how we even met. I really like you, Sophie, and I feel like this could be something, if we could think about the two of us, and let go of the past. If you and I had just met here, in a café, I think you’d be coming back to Paris with me right now.’
His words struck her heart. There was a genuineness to him that she could sense, something she’d never really felt from Matt. To push through the pain, she took him in her arms and hugged him, and for a moment everything within her wanted to stay there. But she quickly pulled away.
He leaned forward and brushed her lips with a gentle kiss. ‘If you just need time, Sophie, you know where I will be.’
She nodded and, clutching her bag, hurried off through security.
Just before she turned towards her gate, she got a glimpse of him one last time. He stood there, his hands in his pockets, watching her, an intense expression on his face, and she was captivated.
Sophie swallowed the tears that were swelling, making her throat ache, handed over her boarding pass and withdrew into the departure lounge. On her way home, she thought about his words. Sophie wished her emotions weren’t such a jumble. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. She couldn’t fathom what was real or not real any more. She’d lost track of all space and time and wasn’t sure how she felt about anything.
Sophie scrolled through her phone to review any messages, trying to get herself back into work mode. She would return to her job the next day.
When she arrived at her flat and opened the door, her past greeted her. It was as though time had stopped. Scattered across her room were her belongings, looking discarded and unloved – a couple of bags, a scarf, a jumper, her shoes – cast off haphazardly before she’d left. Her bed, unmade, her wardrobe doors open where she’d grabbed a few things and not even bothered to clear up behind her.
Needing some love and comfort, she went around to her neighbour’s to retrieve her cat, who looked decidedly bigger than when she’d left him.
‘Oh, he’s a good boy,’ her neighbour commented. ‘You can always leave him with me, Sophie. Such a good boy.’ The neighbour patted his head as William purred contentedly, looking almost regretfully at Sophie, who he knew would not feed him in the way he’d obviously become used to. Though, when they got back to the flat, he showed his affection by putting his paws on her chest and purring in her face.
After a short cuddle with the cat, Sophie went around the rooms, getting rid of everything that reminded her of Matt. She shoved it all into a black plastic bag. She wasn’t sure what she would do with the numerous gifts, photos and the sweatshirt of his that she’d slept in so many times, but she knew she didn’t want to see them right now. When she was done, she stuffed the bag in her wardrobe – she’d deal with that on a different day – as she reminisced about Alex. At least he’d given her one thing. He’d shown her that love after Matt was at least imaginable.
Sophie didn’t sleep well again that night. She had nightmares, with Alex and Vivienne and Matt all talking to her and frantically trying to tell her things. When she woke up the next day, she was sweating. Getting ready for work, she was glad that today there would be familiarity. After days of emotional turmoil, the thought of a quiet day in the office sounded wonderful.
On arriving there, Jonathan looked up at her with relief.
‘Thank God, Sophie. I can’t find anything in this office without you.’ Looking around his desk scattered with papers and files, she knew what her day would entail: helping her boss figure out everything that had happened since she been gone and filing it accordingly. Sophie was extremely grateful for the distraction.
Thankful for the stability of this wonderful job, she smiled broadly. ‘I’m so happy to be home.’
‘Well, I didn’t think you’d be so enthusiastic about all the work I’d have here, but if this is how going on holiday affects you, you should go more often.’ He smiled at her.
Sophie went into her office. There were already piles of files and a number of unopened letters on her desk. She surmised she would need to spend the morning opening them and responding. It wasn’t till just before lunchtime that Sophie pressed the button on her answering machine and took notes. She heard a familiar voice in amongst them.
‘Hello, Sophie. Testing, one, two, three. Oh, I do hate these machines.’ It was her gran, and the sound of her voice made her smile. ‘It was lovely to see you, dear. I just wanted to let you know. Come by any time. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion. I’m always here, apart from Thursdays when I go to bingo or Mondays when I take Mrs James her groceries. Housebound, you know, love. We all take it in turns around here.’
Sophie was grateful for the ease and familiarity of her grandmother’s life, though was a little frustrated that her gran had called her work number instead of her mobile.
The message continued. ‘Oh, yes, and by the way, I found that letter. You know you asked me about Villainous Vivienne? Well, I found it. Not sure if it’s anything you are interested in. It doesn’t say much. Should probably throw it out,’ she muttered, evidently talking to herself. ‘Anyway, let me know. If I don’t hear back from you, I’ll just get rid of it. Don’t need any more rubbish hanging about the house. Haven’t got a clue what I’ve got in half these drawers,’ she rambled on. ‘Okay, well, have a nice day, dear. Don’t forget to call your gran.’
Sophie pounced on the phone and dialled quickly.
Bessy didn’t answer right away, and when she finally did, on the last ring, she was panting. ‘Hello.’
‘Gran, it’s me.’
‘Me?’
‘Sophie.’
‘Oh, hello, love. You just caught me. I was getting the washing in. I think it’s going to rain, love. You haven’t got your washing out today, have you?’
Sophie cut her off. ‘Gran, I was ringing about the letter.’
‘The letter?’ Gran seemed confused on the other end. ‘What letter, dear?’