“I need to stay with Audrey—”
“Bob is with her. The doctor said I should take you home.”
“I . . . I don’t have a home.” The truth struck Eve like a second shock wave. She covered her face and wept. Louis’s arms surrounded her—gently, so gently, as if afraid he’d hurt her. She leaned against him and sobbed. She felt his warmth and strength and never wanted him to let go. “Don’t leave me all alone, Louis. Please!”
“I won’t.” He lifted her into his arms and carried her outside to his jeep. She didn’t care where he took her as long as he stayed beside her and didn’t leave. He drove to Wellingford Hall. After Robbins fussed over her and Mrs. Smith promised tea and hot soup, Louis carried her up the stairs to her bedroom on the third floor.
“I can walk,” she told him, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Mrs. Smith brought the tray and stayed with her and Louis while she tried to eat. Eve’s stomach felt queasy as if the blast had shaken all of her insides out of place. Louis left the room while Mrs. Smith helped Eve change from her bloody uniform into a nightgown, but Eve begged him to come back and stay with her for a while, if he didn’t mind.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured her. “The doctor said you shouldn’t be alone.”
Alone. The word terrified her. The only person she had in the world was Audrey. If anything happened to her . . .
“Do you remember what happened?” Louis asked, sitting beside her on the bed.
“Audrey and I were delivering an ambulance to our old post . . . I heard a doodlebug . . . Such a stupid name for something so deadly . . . I thought Audrey was going to die!” Her tears began to fall.
“She’s not,” Louis said, holding her tightly. “The doctors are pretty sure she’ll be okay.”
“I thought I was going to die, too, and I didn’t want to. I needed to live and save Audrey. She’s the only family I have left, and if anything happens to her . . . I’ll be . . . I’ll be alone!” She started to shiver uncontrollably. Louis made her lie down and tucked a blanket around her the way Granny Maud used to do before kissing her good night. “Don’t leave me, Louis!”
“I won’t. I’m here, Eve.” He lay down on the bed beside her and held her again.
“I’m so tired of bombs . . . and living in fear,” she wept. “I’ve been surrounded by death for so long that I feel half-dead myself. I know how thin the line is between life and death—one breath, one heartbeat.” She rolled over onto her side to face him, laying her hand on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. The steadiness of it comforted her. “Do you ever feel afraid, Louis? Tell me the truth. Ever since the war started, I’ve been trying so hard to be brave. But I need to know that someone else is as terrified as I am.” He nodded. He understood.
“When Bob got the call about you and Audrey—” Louis’s voice broke. Tears pooled in his eyes. “I thought, Not them. Please, God. Don’t take any more people I care about. Some of the crews at the air base . . . I’ll be eating with them one day, then they’re gone the next, shot down, and they’re never coming back. I have to gather up their personal effects and notify their loved ones—” He uttered a sob as tears flowed down his face. “I’m sorry . . .” He let go of her long enough to swipe his tears. Eve felt such a longing for this kind, gentle man, such love.
“Don’t be sorry, Louis. God knows we have every right to cry. Although He doesn’t seem to care.”
“My boyhood buddy Arnie is over in Belgium right now. Right in the thick of things. And I just got news that my other friend Tom was wounded in Italy. I’ll be transferred to France soon, and we’ll have a long, hard fight ahead of us before we get to Berlin, and . . . I’ve never told anyone this, not even Bob . . . but I have a terrible feeling that I’m going to be next—that I’m going to die—and I’m so scared!”
Eve rested her face against his stubbled cheek and let their tears flow together. His were warm and somehow soothing.
“If we die, Eve, what purpose will it serve? Do the deaths we’ve seen have any meaning at all? Will ours make a difference?”
“I don’t know. I came so close to dying today.” A shiver raced through her. Louis held her tighter. “I’ve been living with death, surrounded by it, for five endless years, and I’m so sick of it. The smell of it, the sight of it. The horror of it. And there’s no end in sight. I long to forget about this war, Louis. For an hour—or even for five minutes! I want to forget so I can feel alive again. I don’t want to hear the drone of approaching planes or the buzzing V-1s as they fall. I don’t want to hear the explosions when they hit and know that people’s lives have just shattered into a million pieces. I’m tired of the wailing sirens, the clanging ambulance bells.” She pulled back to look into his sorrowful eyes. “Please, Louis. Please help me forget.”
Louis gazed at her for a long moment through tear-filled eyes, then cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her. A dam burst inside Eve and she kissed him in return with all of the love and longing that her barricaded heart had stored away. All that mattered was the touch of his lips on hers, the warmth of his arms surrounding her.
At last Louis pulled back and whispered, “I love you, Eve.” She looked into his eyes, into his soul, and saw his heart. He was telling the truth. He loved her. “I never meant to fall in love with you, but it happened. I think about you all the time, and I ask Bob if he knows when you’re coming to Wellingford again so I can see you. All those hours we spent together, dancing, laughing . . . I’ve fallen in love with you.”
“And I love you,” she whispered. His handsome smile, the sound of his laughter, his ginger hair. Love had all but disappeared from her war-scarred world, and she hungered for its healing power. “I’ve tried to deny it and convince myself that we’re just friends, but it isn’t true. I love you, Louis. I thought I would never love anyone except Alfie, but I feel closer to you after these months we’ve spent together than I ever did to Alfie. I could never be sure of him.” And Alfie had been right—he was shallow. Louis had substance and depth.
“How did this happen to us?” he asked in wonder.
“I don’t know. But kiss me again, Louis. Maybe we can forget that we may not be alive tomorrow.” He pulled her close, and Eve offered all her grief and passion to him, surrendering all her pain and fear to his love.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Eve awoke during the night and Louis was still beside her, strong and warm and alive. She watched his chest move with each breath he took, and the sound of his breathing soothed her back to sleep. She awoke again when he kissed her softly. He stood over her, dressed in his uniform. Before she could say anything, he slipped from the room.
Loneliness engulfed her. Her arms felt empty, the room cold and bare. Mum was gone. The splendor of Wellingford Hall was gone. And now Louis was gone, too.
She climbed out of bed and moved the blackout curtain to peer outside. Light from the dawning sun flooded the room, blinding her. A tidal wave of guilt slammed into her. What have I done? Louis is another woman’s husband!