“Don’t even think about all the what-ifs. Because even if things don’t turn out for Alfie and me after the war, I will never regret loving him.”
Audrey didn’t have a chance to see Robert the next morning before she and Eve had to hurry back to their base. She hadn’t slept well, unable to stop thinking about Eve’s words. Her feelings for Robert were so new and unfamiliar that she had no way of knowing what they were. She had merely floated along like a ship on calm seas, enjoying every moment with him. But Eve was right. What she felt was love. She was in love with gentle, brilliant, kind Robert Barrett. The possibility of losing him terrified her. What if he was killed in battle? What if he returned home to America and she never saw him again? What if he didn’t love her as much as she loved him?
What if he did?
For more than a week, Audrey silently debated these questions, sometimes so deep in thought that she would arrive at her destination and not remember driving there. Should she confess her love or play it safe? Maybe she could ask Louis if he knew how Robert felt before making a fool of herself. The only bright spots in her endless hours of transporting the injured to hospital were Robert’s letters—long, wonderful letters that brought Audrey joy every time she read them. And she read them again and again. But if Robert was in love with her, he never said so on those pages. Audrey knew it would be cowardly to confess her love for him in a letter. If she took the leap, she needed to do it in person so she could see his face when she said, I love you. But, oh, how it would hurt to see rejection in his eyes.
Audrey had to wait three full weeks before she finally had a day off. As soon as she and Eve saw their names on the furlough roster, Eve turned to her and said, “We’re going to Wellingford.”
“But it’s only a one-day leave,” Audrey said, trying not to panic. “We won’t have enough time.”
“We can jump on the train as soon as our shift ends. You’ll have time. It only takes a few seconds to say, ‘I love you.’”
“What if Robert can’t get time off?”
“It doesn’t matter. We’re going. Write to him. Tell him you’re coming.”
“I’m still not sure I can say it.”
“Do you love him, Audrey?”
“Yes . . . I think so.”
“Then you’ll be able to say it when the time comes. You’ll thank me for this someday.”
“I envy your certainty.”
Audrey wrote and told Robert when she would arrive. He wrote back to say that he would be on duty all that day and wouldn’t return from the air base until after midnight. Can you meet me for breakfast in the morning before you catch your train back? he asked. Audrey waited up for him instead, knowing she would never be able to fall asleep. She listened from her bedroom window for the sound of his jeep and raced downstairs to the foyer the moment she heard it. He was with two other men, but she saw only Robert.
“Audrey! You waited up!” His smile erased all the weariness from his face and made her heart leap like a wild thing. She nodded, unable to speak past the knot of joy in her throat. She reached for his hand, towed him into Father’s library, and closed the door. Before she could utter a word, Robert pulled her into his arms and kissed her. The warmth of his lips spread through her body until she felt as though she were melting. She had never been kissed this way before, and the surge of love and pleasure she felt overwhelmed her.
“Audrey . . . ,” Robert whispered when they parted. He kissed her temple, her throat, then found her lips again. “I love you, Audrey,” he murmured as he held her tightly. “I love you so much!”
Audrey’s tears brimmed, then overflowed. “I love you, too,” she breathed.
He pulled away to look at her. “Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been a blubbering mess all my life. And now . . . now I’ve never felt so happy in my life!”
“Neither have I.” His eyes also filled with tears. “It’s just like in the movies, isn’t it? The joy! The unbelievable joy of being with the one you love.”
“I waited up for you tonight because I wanted to tell you that I love you. I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. But you said it first.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, turning serious. “Go ahead and tell me. I want to hear you say it again.”
“I love you, Robert Barrett. More than I have words to say.”
“Will you marry me, Audrey? I know we haven’t known each other long, but I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you.”
“Yes. A thousand times, yes,” she replied, clinging to him. Audrey didn’t even pause to think about asking for Father’s approval. It didn’t matter. She could walk away from Wellingford Hall on Robert’s arm and never look back. They kissed again and her knees felt so wobbly she had to sit down with him on the sofa.
“I know that the process of getting permission to marry will take time,” Robert said in between kisses. “I’ve already looked into all the red tape that GIs have to go through to marry foreign brides.”
“You have?” she asked in astonishment.
“Of course! I want to marry you, Audrey, and I hoped and prayed that you felt the same. According to War Department regulations, American soldiers stationed overseas need the approval of their commanding officers two months in advance. My CO is required to interview you, and there are dozens of forms to fill out. I’ll have to provide letters from the States to confirm that I have a job back home and the means to support you. In some cases, the Army wants assurance that soldiers’ families support their decision. But I’m over twenty-one, so that shouldn’t matter.”
Audrey felt a shiver of unease. “What if your parents don’t approve of me?”
“They may be disappointed that I’m not marrying Linda, but I don’t think they’ll stand in our way. I’m their only child. They want me to be happy. No, the biggest hurdle right now is that all foreign marriages are forbidden until after the invasion. But I’ve been thinking about it all day, and if you’re willing to marry me, I think we should submit the paperwork right away. We’ll stand a better chance of it being approved by the time the war ends.”
“Such beautiful words, Robert—us being married and this war finally ending.”
“It will end. The Allies are making steady progress. . . . But you look so worried, darling. Is something else bothering you? Am I moving too quickly?”
“No! I would marry you today! But how will you break the news to Linda? What will you tell her?”
“I’ve been trying to prepare her for this event ever since you and I began writing to each other, because I knew then that I was falling in love with you. I’ve been very honest with Linda all along, since before I left home. I’ve told her frequently and emphatically how much I dislike the country-club life, playing tennis and golf, sailing expensive boats, spending money. She keeps saying I’ll change my mind. I’ve been telling her in my letters that I’m becoming more and more certain that I don’t want to become a lawyer after the war and live the way our parents do. She says I’m talking nonsense. I’ve also reminded her that we left our relationship open when we parted and that we’re both free to date other people. I even told her that I’ve been seeing you. She insists I’m the only man she’ll ever love. She’s living in some sort of fantasy world and believes she’s going to get her own way, because she always has.”