I had to thank him. The sooner the better. Then he could leave and I would make sure any future meetings were kept to a minimum. One Rainford in my life was more than enough. I made up my mind then and there that if I did naught else tonight, I would do my duty and express a proper and heartfelt thanks to Sir Leander Rainford, the man who, for reasons unbeknownst to me, called me whore.
Sixteen
Holcroft House
Martinmas evening
The year of Our Lord 1405 in the seventh year of the reign of Henry IV
The last of the customers left and, after tidying up swiftly and securing the front door, we retreated to the warmth of the hall and to the repast that, according to Blanche as she flapped her apron, had already awaited us too long.
That was hours ago. Empty trenchers and bone-scattered platters covered the stained tablecloth. For just a moment, I considered the cost and then pushed such persnickety considerations to the back of my mind. It was Martinmas, my brew had passed. After weeks of accounting for every groat and penny, it was time to celebrate. I grasped the cup of brimming ale and drank again, sending a swift prayer of thanks to the Blessed Virgin and the goddess Ninkasi.
From the bench by the fire, I gazed around, filled with hazy thoughts. Peals of laughter and the warmth of conversation washed over me. What a day—from the anxiety of awaiting the ale-conners, to the unexpected arrival of Tobias, my emotions had been in turmoil. God forgive my vanity, but it was the praise of my neighbors as they tasted the brew, even the small ale, upon which I lingered; the astonishment writ upon their features before words of delight and surprise—and orders for more—spilled from their lips.
The only shadow was Leander Rainford. Try as I might, I was unable to ignore him. As the ale sold and my neighbors crammed into the shop with their empty firkins and skins to be filled, I sought an opportunity to thank him for encouraging Master Constable to reconsider his original verdict, but the chance never came. Keen to acknowledge their overlord’s son, either to make themselves known or renew acquaintance, the townsfolk’s interest didn’t seem to trouble him. On the contrary, he appeared to enjoy it and, as twilight surrendered to nightfall, even sought to detain some of them for further conversation. That I heard my name mentioned a couple of times wasn’t the only reason I found myself drawn to where he stood again and again, nor was it the simple fact of his height, bearing, or the quality of his clothes. The man drew eyes the way the ocean did the hungry gull.
Even Tobias, as he recounted his adventures, the places he’d been, the people he’d met, allowed Leander Rainford’s name to pepper his conversation. Each time it was mentioned, I found my cup at my lips, the ale helping me digest the admiration my brother so clearly felt for his mentor and which, to Sir Leander’s credit, he bore with some embarrassment, his saturnine features softening slightly. As soon as I could, I moved the conversation to other subjects, like the scant letters Tobias wrote, scolding him for the dearth of information in the few lines he would scrawl, which I always responded to with pleas for more.
Listening to Tobias explain his months away, it occurred to me how strange it was having him in the hall again. For all that I worried we would have so much to say that nothing would be, my fears appeared groundless. It was in what was not said as much as what was spoken that, after so many years apart, we found each other again. When he described his travels, his fingers underwent their own journey, while his darkening eyes sparkled with memories clearly not suited for his younger siblings’ ears.
Vaguely aware of the bells tolling compline, night stole over us. The fire was fed and the rain eventually ceased. The twins were taken to bed, more ale and wine was poured, and a tired but satisfied sense of togetherness encompassed the room.
As far as I was concerned, the only sour note in an otherwise most satisfactory day was Sir Leander. His insult still rang in my ears and I couldn’t relax knowing he had charmed not only my neighbors but my servants and, as I glanced up to see the dogs at his feet again, my treacherous pets as well. Inviting him to stay for supper, Tobias didn’t seek permission first and before I could think of a reason to retract my brother’s invitation, Saskia and Blanche had added their entreaties. I’d only a moment to hide my dismay before they recalled they had a mistress and I was left with no other option but to importune him to accept.
Which he did. Most graciously.
There he sat on the other side of the room, concentrating on Saskia, who sat chattering beside him. Her face glowed as she spoke of her beloved home, which she’d abandoned when she accompanied my mother to England twenty years earlier. Toward the passage that led to the kitchen, Blanche and Iris sat swaying on a bench as Adam sang an old song about gallant knights and Will quietly accompanied him on his flute. Music weaved its way around the rafters, drifting out into the passage, wrapping itself around the twins and Louisa as they slept upstairs, a harmony to pleasant dreams.
It was only when Tobias nudged me that I heard my name being called. Goblets and mazers were raised.
“To Mistress Anneke.” Adam rose unsteadily to his feet. Tobias, Sir Leander, and Will hastily followed.
“Mistress Anneke,” repeated the servants, their cheeks ruddy, their smiles almost too wide and bright. My eyes met Sir Leander’s and, for the first time, his didn’t slide away in disgust. Instead, he raised his goblet toward me and drank.
Heat traveled my face and while I wanted to turn away, I could not. Standing slowly, I raised my vessel in reply.
“None of this would have been possible without you. Thank you.” I looked at each and every one of them, wanting them to know how much I meant what I said. It was the simple truth. They’d all enabled this to happen—even Sir Leander. Nonetheless, I reserved my warmest smile for Adam, who nodded in return, his grin wide. Draining his drink, he picked up his tabor and began beating a rhythm. Will picked up his flute. Iris tried to coax Blanche to her feet for a dance, hauling her upright under protest. Blanche laughed as Iris began to spin her around the hall.
Through the fogginess of ale, I watched the way candle and firelight gamboled across the room, flickering over faces, the manner in which it illuminated eyes, noses, and mouths while concealing other features. We hid so much from each other, presented a facade to the world upon which, fairly or unfairly, we were judged as either dark or light.
Unable to help myself, my eyes strayed once again to Sir Leander. What darkness had he seen when he looked at me?
Weary and more than a little head-sore from the earlier wine and the ale, which was stronger than I realized, I collapsed back on the bench. I tugged Tobias’s surcoat and patted the space beside me. Tobias started to shake his head, shrugged, then sat heavily, his hands wrapped around his tankard, elbows on his knees, his head lowered as he stared into the foam. The pleasure that attended him earlier had transformed into something altogether different. His shoulders drooped and though there were inches separating us, it was as if a gulf had opened.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him quietly, shifting closer and bumping him gently with my shoulder.
A long, slow sigh escaped his lips. For a while, he didn’t answer. The music continued, slower now. Blanche and Iris resumed their seats, panting.