“Tobias? What is it?” I whispered.
Across the room, Saskia laughed. My head flew up and I saw Sir Leander smiling. “Is it your master?”
“What?” said Tobias, rousing from his abstraction. He followed the direction of my gaze. “Leander? Don’t be silly.”
“Is it Father’s death . . . ?” my voice petered out.
“Not exactly.”
“Well, what is it then?”
Tobias leaned back and rested his head against the wall. I studied him. The way his dark hair fell across his forehead; his hooded eyes; his wide, well-shaped mouth; cheeks that weren’t stubbled but bore the blush of youth upon them. He wasn’t yet a handsome man, Tobias, not like his master, his brother, but one day, he would be.
“This,” said Tobias, lifting his goblet and waving it before him.
Frowning, I didn’t understand. “The house? But I explained to you what Hiske did—”
“Not the house.” Turning his head so his cheek rested against the white walls, he thrust his drink in my direction. “This. You.”
“Oh.”
“I’m so sorry, Anneke,” said Tobias, staring at me but, I fear, not seeing me too well.
“What have you to be sorry for, my sweet brother?” I lifted the fist that rested against his thigh and untangled the taut fingers. “You’re blameless in all of this.”
“Mayhap. But that doesn’t stop me being sorry that you, a Sheldrake, have been reduced to such circumstances.” He lifted his goblet into my line of vision. “That for the time being, you bear the brunt of Father’s foolishness. I can’t help but feel we shouldn’t be celebrating but rather, commiserating that my sister has been forced to take such measures.” He put the vessel down on the bench between us. “I’ve been thinking about your plight ever since I found out about our financial situation. We need to find you a husband, Anneke. If you get married, it will solve everything.”
Before I could summon a response, Tobias launched into his plan, ignoring my efforts to interrupt. Did he really think I hadn’t considered all that he placed before me, including marriage? Failing to notice that my arms crossed my chest and I’d put distance between us upon the bench, he continued on. I stared at the wood of our seat, noting the grain, the scratches, the place where once Karel had hefted a hot poker, scarring it. I traced the line, my nail burrowing deeper, wanting to leave my own mark. Listening to Tobias, I knew then that despite my earlier thoughts, there were some distances that could never be spanned. My brother didn’t really know me at all.
Pondering this I only registered the words a moment after he finished. A smug, uneven smile upon his face, Tobias waited for me to respond.
I stared at him in disbelief. “Did you just say you spoke to Cousin Hiske?”
“Indeed, I did. She called upon us the moment we arrived at Lord Rainford’s house in town.”
“How did she know you’d be there? Oh. Master Makejoy.”
“Indeed. He organized the house to be aired and the servants prepared for our arrival. Cousin Hiske was our first visitor. She wanted to offer me condolences and—” He paused.
“What?”
“To warn me what you were doing.”
I pursed my lips.
“She also told me about the offer she made.”
“Did she?” My eyes were cold, my chin thrust forward. “And did she tell you what I said?”
“She said you refused.”
“Of course I did.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?”
Why was he being so obtuse? So difficult?
“Wise?” Heads swung in our direction. The mood had altered. Blanche danced a protesting Iris toward the kitchen. Will and Adam began locking up while Saskia and Sir Leander remained where they were, absorbed in their discussion. I lowered my voice. “She invited me to work for her, Tobias, to be a servant in her house. I don’t know what she told you, but there was nothing to hope for in her offer. She’s twisting her words to persuade you to her way of thinking. You don’t know what it’s been like living with that woman, what she’s done. You can’t really expect me to accept, you who’s so worried about the Sheldrake reputation. What would being Hiske’s servant do to our dear name?” Bitterness coated my tongue. I glanced at my cup, but it was empty. “Tell me. What kind of husband would I find then?”
“Servant? You misunderstood. Hiske said you did. She asked you to be her companion.”
A bark of laughter escaped.
Tobias leveled a finger at me. “Don’t mock. It’s a perfectly acceptable position for someone your age and in your circumstances. It’s better than being a brewster.” When I didn’t bother replying, he lowered his hand. “Think of the twins, Anneke. What about them?”
“I am thinking of them, Tobias. Them and the servants. I seem to be the only one.”
“The servants will find other positions,” said Tobias, waving his hand as if he were the king distributing Maundy coins. He brought his hand back to the bench, placing it over mine. It was warm and slightly damp. I tried to pull away but he increased pressure. “But you, Anneke, may not. Not if you keep up with this, this madness. Brewing’s fine for a bit of sport, to keep the family in ale, but if you insist on being a brewer, of selling ale to all and sundry, it will be to your ruin.”
I withdrew my hand out from under his slowly, my eyes boring into his. With great deliberation, I wiped the back of it across my skirt.
“You have the audacity to return home after all this time and tell me what to do? I cannot credit that you sit here and recommend to me I should accept Hiske’s offer.”
“Anneke, as your brother and the head of this family, I insist you take it.”
So great was the anger that swelled my ribs and lifted me to my feet, I swear, it was on the tip of my tongue to reveal the truth. “Insist? Who do you think you are? Good King Henry?”
All other conversations in the room ceased. The noises coming from the kitchen slowly stopped as well. I didn’t care. Let them hear me. I fought to contain my thoughts, my sense of betrayal.
“Sit down,” said Tobias through gritted teeth. “Standing on your dignity when you’re only a brewster, for Godsakes, doesn’t work with me.”
My hands clenched and unclenched by my side. A log dropped in the fireplace, sending sparks into the room. Out of the corner of my eye, one of the dogs yawned and stretched, rearranging himself casually across his mate. The fever of my anger broke. “Stop,” I said softly. “Stop this before we say something we’ll both regret.”
Behind me, talk resumed. Quiet. Careful.
Tobias rose on unsteady legs and I was forced to tilt my head to meet his eyes. “Don’t be stupid, Anneke.” He brushed his hair aside. “I’m not asking you to do it forever. All I’m saying is living with Hiske—”
“Working, you mean. Being her servant. The woman who stole from us.”
“However you choose to see it. All I’m saying”—he placed a heavy hand upon my forearm—“is that it has to be better than brewing. If you continue to do this, then chances are a husband won’t be hard to find, he’ll be impossible, and your life and that of our brother and sister will be ruined.”