“Maybe.”
“And?” she prompts. “How are things going between you two? Figure out what you are?”
I shake my head. “Not exactly. We’re taking a little break.”
“Translation, you’re pushing him away.” I open my mouth to object, but she holds her hand out and shakes her head. “I’ve said my peace about this, so I’ll just say one more thing. People don’t wait around forever, no matter how strong their feelings. At some point, it just gets too painful to love someone who won’t give you the things you need. If you care about this man at all, make the jump or let him go permanently. It’s not fair to string him along.”
“You sound like you know from experience, Auntie,” I muse and she nods, sadness creeping into her gaze.
“I met a man once and for me, it was love at first sight, but he didn’t feel the same way. He strung me along for three very long, painful years before I had to walk away. I still think about him from time to time and no one else has ever made me feel the way he did when things were good between us.”
The heartbreak is clear on her face and I wonder if I’m hurting Chance as much with my inability to commit. My phone buzzes again, saving me from replying to her as I glance down at a new text. This one from Ivy.
Ivy:
Sorry. Not going to make it.
“Ivy’s not coming,” I whisper, glancing up at Dottie as she looks out the window. Her brow furrows in concern and after a moment, she sighs.
“Let me box up some of this food for you, sweetie. I’m afraid I will not be good company tonight.”
I nod, watching her as she grabs a container and fills it with soup for me to take home. I hate to admit it but I’m worrying about my sister, too, and seeing how distraught Dottie is, makes me feel even more uneasy. Whatever it takes, I will get to the bottom of this and figure out what is going on.
* * * *
“I’ll let you all talk but just think about what I said,” Chance says, standing from the table where Ali is perched with her laptop in front of her. He meets my eyes as he passes us and my hand shakes with the urge to reach out and touch him.
“Hey, Car, see somethin’ you like?” Ali asks, a smile stretching across her face, and I shake my head.
“Shut up. We’re here to talk about you. Not me.”
She laughs and nods, kicking out one of the chairs next to her. “By all means then, have a seat.”
“How are you doing, Hon?” Izzy asks, looking at her with a concerned expression as she sits down and crosses her arms on the table.
“Well, let’s see. I’m locked in my house because some psycho is leaving dolls on my doorstep, and I’m not talking to my boyfriend since he thinks he can run my life, but he won’t leave me alone, so we just walk around the house, not speaking to each other.”
“Ali, he’s just trying to protect you,” I point out, and she nods.
“I know that, but I wish he would just cool it a little bit. If he had just talked to me about it, I probably would have agreed with him, but he didn’t. He bulldozed over me and started barking orders.”
“Sounds a little bit like you’re taking shit out on him,” Izzy says, giving Ali a look. “This is hard for both of you, and there is no handbook. Hell, even the cops can’t do much right now. Maybe you should just cut him some slack.”
She bites down on her lip before sighing. “Yeah, you’re right,” she whispers.
“Then our work here is done.”
Izzy pushes away from the table and panic flashes in Ali’s eyes. “What? You’re leaving?”
I bite back a smile.
“Sorry, Hon. We just swung by on our lunch break and traffic was awful. We’ll stop by tonight if you want,” I offer, and she nods.
“She’ll be busy,” Logan says from the end of the hall, and Ali jumps, pressing her hand over her chest before she meets his eyes and practically melts in her chair. Or, maybe not. Izzy nudges me and we back out of the kitchen to give them a little alone time.
“You free for dinner tonight, then?” Izzy whispers as we creep toward the front door and I nod. I’ll do just about anything right now to avoid how hard it is to stay away from Chance.
“Yeah. Call me when you get off.”
She nods and gives me a quick hug before leaving as I turn down the hallway to go to the bathroom. Just as I’m about to close the door, someone pushes inside, covering my mouth with their hand as they shut and lock the door. My heart pounds and I imagine every awful scenario in the point two seconds it takes to recognize the smell of Chance’s cinnamon gum. Peeking up at him, I can barely make out the outline of his face from the light spilling in underneath the window blinds and I shove his hand off my mouth.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss, keeping my voice low so Ali doesn’t overhear us. She was just giving me shit about staring at him when we walked in, so I can only imagine what she would say if she found us like this.
“Me? I think the more important question is what the hell are you doing? It’s been over a week since you’ve spoken to me and that was only through text.”
I shrug, looking away from him. “And? That’s the definition of casual, Chance.”
“Except we aren’t casual no matter how badly you want to convince yourself that we are.”
“There is no we, no us. There is you and I and we occasionally come together to have sex. That is it.”
He lets out a sardonic laugh as he shakes his head. “You’re lying and you want to know what else, you’re not even all that good at it.”
“Look, I’m really sorry if anything I did made you believe this was anything more than sex,” I say, repeating the exact same words I said to Sam not so long ago as I push on Chance’s chest. Except this time, I don’t believe them even a little bit.
He steps in closer to me, pressing our chests together as he slips a hand along my cheek. I savor the touch, closing my eyes for just a split second but it’s my undoing. “I want you, Carly. All of it and I’ll take the moments you’re smiling at me like I’m everything you could ever want along with the moments you lose your shit because you feel me getting too close. I’ll stand here, with you, through all of that as long as you’ll have me and I’ll fight off your demons when they are too big for you to handle but I’m getting real tired of all the games.”
“Stop,” I hiss, refusing to meet his eyes, afraid that one look would completely give me away.
“Why? Because it’s everything you’ll never admit that you want? I’m a patient man, Carly, and I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”
“Don’t you dare say that.”
“Why not?”
He nudges my cheek, forcing me to meet his eyes but I can only hold it for a second before my eyes fall to his chest where my fingers are digging into his skin. “Because it would be a waste of your life.”
“Even if I found someone else, they would never be you.”
I snort. “Sounds like a win-win to me.”
“Except then I would never feel this way again,” he whispers, grabbing one of my hands and placing it over his racing heart. “And that’s a problem for me.”