Chapter Nineteen
Tatum
My eyes burn from a lack of sleep as I drop my coffee mug onto the counter and grab the pot, pouring the rest of its contents into my cup. I scowl. Did I really drink this whole thing already? Sighing, I lean back against the counter and scrub my hands over my face. After the police carted Lincoln off last night and I’d given my statement, I locked myself in the safe room but even that wasn’t enough to calm me down. Not when every time I close my eyes, I see Lincoln, lying in bed next to me with a sleepy smile on his face.
“No,” I hiss, dashing away a tear that managed to escape before I was able to lock down my emotions. I will not cry for this bastard.
He used me.
He played me.
He lied to me.
None of it was real.
That’s what I just need to keep reminding myself until this crushing ache in my chest goes away. Yawning, I push off the counter and grab my coffee before trudging back to the safe room where Mom’s box of letters is spilled out across the desk. Sitting down, I pick up the one in front of me and start reading.
Days like today, I get so mad at you, S. Mad that you felt you had to run away from me to hide your pain and mad that you felt you couldn’t lean on me when it was too much for you to handle. I know that’s not fair but I was right there with you. I lost something, too, and then, I lost you as well.
Sighing, I toss the letter down and shake my head. How many people did my mother hurt and for what reason? It had to be a damn good one, right? All I’ve been able to find in these letters is cryptic and mysterious – like they were edited to exclude anything that could give me some answers. And I’m eager for answers. Especially after I solved one mystery in my life last night.
“Tate?” Theo’s panicked voice echoes through the house and my mouth pops open as I jump out of the chair and run to the door.
“Theo?”
He pokes his head into the bedroom and I barrel out of the closet, crashing into him and wrapping him up in a hug as relief surges through me.
“What are you doing here?”
He releases me and takes a step back as he inspects me. “Lincoln called me last night and told me to get my ass to Baton Rouge as fast as I could. What’s going on, T? Are you okay?”
“Lincoln,” I snarl, spinning away from him and marching back into the safe room before I throw myself in the office chair. He scowls as he follows behind me.
“Why are you in the safe room?”
I shrug. “Because it feels safe.”
“And why wouldn’t you feel safe, Tate?” he asks, his voice taking on a hard edge as he perches on the edge of the couch. I meet his gaze and a sob rips through my lips before I can stop it. His eyes widen and he jumps up, pulling me out of the chair and into his arms.
“I fucking knew something was going on with you. Why did you lie to me?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t think it was a big deal and I didn’t want to worry you.”
“You need to tell me everything,” he insists, wiping a few tears from my cheeks and I nod as I pull out of his grip and sit back down.
“You should sit.”
He moves back to the couch and I suck in a breath before spilling my guts to him, starting with the phone calls and the note that was taped to the door.
“And you think that was Lincoln all along?” he asks and I nod. He sighs. “I don’t know, T. Why did he call me yesterday?”
My chest aches as I tell my brother everything that happened in the last forty-eight hours and when I finish, he jumps up and slams his fist into the wall.
“Motherfucker,” he seethes, pacing back and forth across the floor. “And you shot him?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Good. Serves the bastard right.”
As I watch my brother pace in front of me, I scowl. “Why did he call you though?”
“He wants me to bring you over to the clubhouse.”
I scoff, spinning away from him. “Well, how fucking nice for him but if I see him again, I’m putting a bullet in his chest.”
“He said it has to do with Mom.”
I freeze and spin to face Theo. “What the fuck does he know about Mom?”
“Only one way to find out,” he answers with a shrug and I only have to think it over for a second before I nod. Lincoln knows exactly how to get me there because he knows how desperately I want answers.
“Fine, let’s do it.”
Standing up, I open up the gun safe and grab my ankle holster, propping my foot up on the couch so I can put it on.
“What are you doing, T?” Theo asks, his voice full of humor and I shoot him a glare.
“If you think I’m showing up there without weapons, you’ve lost your fucking mind.”
He laughs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are we going to have a shoot-out with a biker gang?”
“Club,” I snap, unsure why I’m defending them. “They are a club and no. I might shoot Lincoln again for good measure, though.”
He nods, watching me as I slip the pistol into the holster at my ankle before grabbing another one and threading it through my belt.
“And what if there’s a good explanation for all of this?”
I sigh, nodding my head. “I’m not willing to rule out the possibility that there’s a reason he was watching me but inserting himself into my life, making me fall in love with him, and sleeping with me? He has no fucking excuse there.”
And let’s not even get into the note and phone calls.
“I’m sorry that the first time you decided to try again, it turned out like this, T.”
My lip wobbles as I redo my belt and grab a gun. “You have nothing to apologize for, Theo.”
“I wish I would have been here. I would have seen him for who he really is.”
I shake my head, patting his shoulder. “I love you, but I don’t know that you would have. He fooled me. I was imagining a future with him and the whole time he was playing me.”
“I warned him about breaking your heart,” he whispers, balling his fist up and I pat his shoulder again as I stick a knife in my boot.
“Let’s get this over with and then we can focus on spending some time together. How long are you here for?”
He shrugs. “That depends on what happens at our meeting, I suppose.”
I nod and wait as he puts a holster on before we head out to his car. As soon as we start driving toward the clubhouse, my nerves start to take over and my hands shake. Sucking in a breath, I steel my shoulders and focus on my anger, using it to shield me through this meeting. So what if I’m going to see him again? He doesn’t get to affect me anymore, not after all the mistakes he’s made.
“We’re here,” Theo says as he slows the car and pulls into the clubhouse parking lot. My knee bounces and he glances over at me. “You going to be okay?”
“Yep.”
He points to my knee. “You sure about that? You’re usually more steady than this.”
“Well, this is real not just a simulation so yeah, I’m a little jittery.”
It also might have something to do with the pot of coffee I drank.