I nod. “Yeah, it was but she did try to give us some normal. We used to have family game night and we went to the zoo in every city we stopped in when we were running.”
“There is so much shit I want to ask her and now I’ll never get the chance to,” he muses and I grab the shoebox.
“That’s why I brought this. Theo and I found it while we were cleaning out her stuff. There’s a photo of a little boy in here that I’m almost certain is you along with every report card you ever got.”
He glances over at me. “Can I see it?”
“Sure.” I hand it to him and he takes the lid off, setting it next to him on the dock. “Oh, there’s also love letters from your dad, I think.”
“You think?”
“Well.” I shrug. “They are only signed “M” and I don’t know his name but it seems fairly likely that they are from him.”
“His name is Malcolm,” he says, pulling out the photo and shaking his head. “This was my kindergarten picture.”
He starts going through the letters and report cards in the box and I sit next to him silently, only speaking to answer any of his questions. Finally, he sighs and sets the box down next to him.
“This is all fucking insane. I spent my whole life thinking my mom was a club whore that wasn’t capable of taking care of a kid and I was cool with that. I understood why she wasn’t around and now I find out it was all a lie.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m still learning new things about her all the time. Until we were in that room at the clubhouse, I had no idea who my dad was because she wouldn’t tell me. I didn’t know I had another brother. You and I are in the same boat so I’m always here if you want to talk.”
He glances over at me and smirks. “There is one question I want to ask you.”
“Go ahead,” I say with a nod.
“Is it true you shot Lincoln in the leg?”
I bark out a laugh and nod. “Um, yep. That’s true. Although to be fair, at the time, I thought he was some kind of psycho or something.”
“Naw, I heard the whole story from Fuzz. Seemed like he got what was comin’ to him.”
I smile and point over my shoulder. “I think Smith still has some extra “Team Tate” t-shirts if you want to show your support.”
“I just might do that,” he says, laughing as he turns back to the water. We sit in silence for a few seconds before he turns to the house. “We should probably get back in there. I’m sure Em will have food ready soon.”
He starts putting things back in the box and after setting the lid on top, he hands it to me. I shake my head.
“No, you should keep it.”
His brows furrow. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ve already read them all and she was your mom, too.”
He nods, placing his hand on top of the box as he sighs. “Thank you. I know I probably haven’t been handling any of this well but it’s pretty cool to finally have a brother and a sister.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I tell him, smiling. “Our parents are super fucked up but Theo and I got you out of this whole thing and I’m grateful for that.”
He smiles and helps me up before we walk back up to the house together before he joins the guys and I step into the house in search of the girls. Ali, Carly, and Emma all glance up when I walk in.
“How’d your talk go?” Emma asks and I smile.
“Good. I think.”
“Nix is a straightforward guy. If you think it went well, then I’m sure it did.”
I nod, glancing out into the yard where the guys are gathered and Lincoln catches my eye. He laughs at something Smith says and my chest aches something fierce. I miss the way things were before I knew everything and there’s been so many times in the last week that I’ve wished I could go back.
“You know,” someone says, stepping up beside me and I turn as Ali flashes me a smile. “It’s okay to forgive him.”
“It’s not in my nature,” I tell her and she snorts out a laugh.
“Yeah, I’ve kind of picked up on that but you should try anyway. Lincoln is a good man – the kind that would never make this mistake again.”
I scoff, watching him as he raises the beer bottle to his lips. “He lied to me.”
“Oh, trust me, honey, I know. I already read him the riot act once for what he did to you but I also know he didn’t mean anything by it. He was torn in half by his loyalty to the club and his love for you – something that no one could have predicted.”
“He still should have told me the truth and he had so many chances to.”
Carly steps up on my other side and sighs. “It’s not that simple. This club – they’re a family – and he would take a bullet for any one of those guys just as they would take one for you simply because Kodiak loves you. That’s not an easy thing to betray and I’m sure that it haunted him everyday.”
“Both Carly and I,” Ali adds, “have been through some shit and the entire club stepped up for us without a moment’s hesitation. They’ve taken us both in as family and loving one of these men means that you won’t always know what’s going on but you have to trust him. He lies to you to keep you safe or to keep someone else safe.”
“Say he had told you the truth,” Emma says and we all turn to face her. “When he first met you, if he had spilled his guts, would you have ever let him into your life?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think I would have.”
She gives me a look that screams “exactly” and I sigh as I turn back to the window, wondering if I’ll ever be able to handle Lincoln lying to me regularly even if it was to save someone.
* * * *
“Tate, it’s not safe to be out here,” Lincoln growls, stepping out onto the screened in porch and I grab the pistol out of my lap, holding it up for him to see.
“I just needed a little fresh air.”
He sighs, sinking into the chair next to the door as he studies me. “Did you have fun at the barbecue?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, a soft smile gracing my face. “It was really nice to spend time with everyone.”
“You seem different.”
I meet his gaze and shrug as I remember the talk I had with the girls. “Maybe a little bit. Can I ask you something?”
Shock blankets his face and he stares at me for a second before slowly nodding. “Of course.”
“How much did you know when you started following me?”
“I… uh, I knew your name and Theo’s name. I knew what you looked like and all the basic information like your address. And that your mom had died.”
I think back to the morning I found the camera feed on his phone and the photo of Theo and me on the beach. “That picture you had, where we were spreading Mom’s ashes. Was that when you started watching me?”
“Just about,” he answers with a nod and I sigh.
“When did you learn everything?”
“Tate,” he whispers, leaning back in his chair as he shakes his head.
“I want to know.”