The whole thing is bizarre and I wonder if I drifted off to sleep at some point in the night. Is this just a dream? Or am I really living this moment?
Devlin grabs a piece of gauze off the tray and dabs the incision in my arm as I hiss and try to pull away from him. Arching a brow, he grabs my arm and shoves the needle through my skin as I whimper. It burns the entire time he’s pulling the thread through and the room spins as I try to focus on my breathing. I can’t pass out. I have to remain conscious and ready to flee if I get the opportunity.
When he finishes stitching up the first cut, he grabs the scalpel and positions it adjacent to the first cut before slicing away from it. I writhe on the bed, screaming as pain radiates all the way to my fingers and tears leak out of my eyes. He continues humming the song. He grabs the gauze again and repeats the process from before.
When I’m stitched up, he starts again. Time and time again, he tears through my flesh as my stomach flips and the room spins around me. I don’t notice the camera anymore, screaming through each cut as agony rocks through my body.
“Please, no more,” I choke out when he gets to my wrist and he sighs, reaching up and cupping my face with the bloody glove.
“Even though your pain causes me such pleasure, I am sorry that it’s you on the receiving end of this. You are the one thing on this earth your father cares about and I can’t stop. Not until he experiences my anguish.”
He moves the scalpel to my chest and cuts across my collarbone as I scream and darkness creeps in on my vision. As the needle starts piercing my skin, Lincoln’s smiling face pops into my mind and I wonder if I’ll ever see him again. I spent so much time pushing him away and now, I’d give anything for a few more seconds just so I could tell him how much I love him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lincoln
Night is falling, covering the city in darkness and we’ve officially passed the twenty-four hour mark since Tate was taken right from under our noses. Thinking back to yesterday, I rub my fist over my chest, trying to ease the ache that’s been tormenting me since I realized she was gone. Fuck, what if she’s really gone for good? My knee bounces and I scrub my hands over my face, imagining my life without her in it and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to break down in front of everyone. I don’t deserve her. It was my job to protect her, same as Nora, and I failed them both so miserably that I don’t deserve any happiness in my life. Maybe, if we get her back, I should just walk away. Each time I play that scenario in my head, though, my heart shatters in my chest and just when I think that this can’t hurt any more, it does. It’s an endless loop of pain but everything I deserve.
It’s so fucking selfish but I can’t let her go. Tate is every fucking thing that’s good in my life and I can’t do this without her. I can’t go back to the way I was before she walked into my life. Looking up at the ceiling, I promise God that I’ll be better – a better man, a better partner, a better protector – if only he’ll bring her back to me and give me a second chance. Or third chance, I suppose.
Rodriguez walks into the clubhouse and stops short when he sees me sitting on the couch. He’s been at the station, trying to get a lead on my girl but when his face falls, I know he wasn’t successful. I surge to my feet and storm across the clubhouse, pinning his back to a wall. “You fucking promised me, Rodriguez! You said you would keep her safe and now she’s vanished into thin fucking air!”
“I know, Kodiak. I’m so sorry,” he whispers, hanging his head.
“You’re sorry,” I sneer, taking a step back from him. “What fucking good does that do me?”
“Hey,” Streak says, slapping his hand on my shoulder. “We won’t rest until we find her.”
I shake my head, ripping my shoulder out of his grasp. “Yeah? How are we going to do that? We have fucking nothing!”
I turn away from him and walk across the clubhouse before turning back and running my fingers through my hair. “She could be in motherfucking Chicago by now!”
I meet Nix’s eyes across the clubhouse as he holds Emma in his lap and his face falls, the loss of his sister weighing down on him. Glancing around the room, everyone mirrors his expression. Smith is sitting at one of the tables with his head in his hands and Blaze is posted up at the bar, nursing a glass of bourbon – just like I found him after Sarah’s death. In her short time with us, my girl has wormed her way into all our hearts and none of us will be the same without her. Collapsing into a chair, I bury my head in my hands and fight back tears.
I’ve already lost too much in my life – first, my father and then Nora – and I have no idea how I’ll survive this one. If she’s gone, she’s taking me with her.
God, why didn’t she listen to me?
Why didn’t I insist that I go in there with her?
That’s the worst part. I knew better and I went against my better judgment to make her happy. Now, I’d just be thrilled to have her here with me – pissed or not. The door to the clubhouse opens and I half-heartedly look up, my eyes widening as Dominic King strolls in with two armed guards behind him. Guns come out all over the room, all aimed at him as he holds his hands up and arches a brow.
“Put them away, boys. I come in peace.”
Blaze stumbles off the barstool and growls low in his throat. “You motherfucker!”
He balls his fists up and I flick a look at Moose, who grabs Blaze and wrestles him back into his seat before he can charge Dominic and make a tense situation even worse.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Nix asks and Dominic turns to him, smiling.
“Ah, you must be Phoenix. How nice to finally meet you after all these years,” Dominic says and I glance at Smith, who looks equally confused. We were all under the impression that Dominic had no idea who Nix or Blaze were.
“You know me?” Nix asks, standing up from the couch and moving his wife behind him.
Dominic chuckles. “Of course I know who you are. I’ve always known. When your mother came to me to make her little deal, I had a stipulation of my own. You see, she was taking my children from me so I told her she could never reconnect with you.”
“And if she did anyway?” I growl, my finger itching to pull the trigger as I keep my gun aimed at his head.
“Then I would kill Nix and her precious Blaze.”
Blaze roars, trying to jump off the barstool again but Moose keeps him contained, whispering something in his ear.
“You bastard,” Nix hisses and Dominic just grins like he was paid a compliment.
“Now, who is this lovely creature behind you?”
Emma tries to step out from behind her husband but Nix holds her back.
“None of your goddamn business,” he growls and Dominic laughs as he turns to me. There’s an evil glint in his ice blue eyes and my mind races as I try to figure out why he’s here.
“You must be the man who’s been sleeping with my daughter…”
My lip curls back in a snarl. “I’m her fiancé.”
“We’ll see about that. I brought you a little present.” He holds up a DVD case and I scowl. “You have somewhere we can watch this?”