A girl can hope, right?
* * * *
Wringing my hands together, I pace back and forth in front of the living room window as I watch the driveway, waiting for Mason to show up. After my talk with Hannah earlier, I spent the rest of my shift thinking about what I’m going to do about this mess that I’ve found myself in and there are a lot of things that I still don’t have answers for but when it comes to Mason, I know I have to end things. He’s such a good man and he’s been nothing but amazing to me, which is why it’s not fair for me to drag him along as I figure out what’s going on between Noah and me. Hannah was right there, too. I’ve never stopped loving Noah, no matter how much I lied to myself or pushed it down so I didn’t have to face the truth. But that doesn’t mean we’re a good idea.
As far as I can tell, I have two options. One, I accept that Noah and me are “end game” as he said and face whatever the consequences of that choice are together or I disappear. I’m not fond of the second option and leaving Hannah would kill me but I’ll do it if I have to. I’ll run far away from here with a new name and start a whole new life if that’s what it comes to. Anything to avoid the hell that I was in six years ago.
Mason’s Camaro pulls into the driveway, setting off the motion alarm, and I suck in a breath as I position myself in front of the window and watch him park. He steps out and I’m comforted by the fact that he can’t see me right now. I know it’s not much but I welcome a few more seconds to compose myself before I break this man’s heart. I remember the desperate look on his face as he begged me for assurance only a few nights ago and guilt eats away at me.
He steps up on the porch and knocks on the door. I run my hands down the front of my shirt as I turn toward the door. Almost mechanically, I walk over to it and pull it open. He grins.
“Hey, gorgeous. I was thrilled to get your text.”
I allow him to pull me into a hug but when he tries to kiss me, I artfully dodge him and turn toward the kitchen. “You hungry? I thought we could eat.”
“Sure,” he says with a scowl as he follows after me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just a long day at work. A few newborn puppies were left there last night and Dr. Hebert called me in at five this morning.”
He nods, studying me. “Is there something else?”
“Look, Mason,” I sigh. “Maybe we should just eat first.”
His blue eyes roam over my face, searching for answers and after a few seconds, his eyes widen and he shakes his head, stepping back. “You’re leaving me, aren’t you?”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, taking a step back and flinching as the accusation hits its mark. He runs a hand through his hair before he glances up at me with questioning eyes.
“Because of him?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Bullshit.” He turns away from me and paces a few steps before turning back around. “I can’t believe this.”
“Honestly, Mason. I’m not leaving you for him. That’s not why I need to end things.”
He arches a brow. “Why then?”
My stomach does a little flip as I walk across the kitchen and lay my hand on his arm. “The other night you told me you love me and then last night, Noah said the same thing.”
“I knew it.”
“No, I’m not finished. Just listen.”
After a beat, he nods.
“I’m not sure what’s going to happen between Noah and me or if us getting together is even a good idea but when he told me he loves me, it felt different than when you said it and that’s why I have to end this. You deserve a girl whose heart is going to beat a little harder when you say those three words to her.”
Our eyes meet and we stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before he sighs. “Fuck, this sucks. It might be easier if I just lost you to him. Instead, I’m losing you to the memory of him.”
“I know,” I whisper, nodding. “You can yell if you want.”
He sighs and brushes my hair out of my face. “I don’t want to yell at you, baby. And if I’m honest, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
“What?”
“As soon as he came back into your life, I saw a change in you and I’m a little surprised that I lasted this long.”
Tears form in my eyes and I reach up, placing my hand on his cheek. “You’re going to find an amazing girl, who loves you exactly the way you deserve to be loved. I just know it, Mason.”
“Good luck, whatever happens between you and him,” he says before leaning in and placing a sweet kiss against my lips. Tears slip down my cheeks and he wipes a few away before turning away from me and walking out of the cabin. I press my hand over my mouth as a sob spills out of me and I sink into the dining room chair.
God, why did he have to be so sweet about it?
It would have been far easier if he’d just gotten mad and yelled at me.
Even though it sucks and I feel so damn guilty right now, I know I made the right choice. Mason deserves so much more than I could give him and he’s free to find someone that can love him the way I couldn’t. Now, I just have one more issue to deal with.
The motion alarm goes off as Mason pulls out of the driveway and a minute later, it goes off again. I roll my eyes and stand up with a groan. Of course, he’s here. I’ve gotten so used to his truck parked outside lately that I don’t even notice anymore so I’m not surprised that he’s showing up as soon as Mason left. Gritting my teeth, I march over to the door and yank it open. He freezes with his hand raised to knock on the door and we stare at each other for a second before he drops it.
“Did you break up with him?”
I roll my eyes and turn away from him, leaving the door open behind me ‘cause Lord knows he won’t leave, even if I asked him. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Sure you don’t.” He laughs. The click of the door lock fills the space and I suck in a breath as I turn around to face him. There’s a hunger in his eyes that I remember all too well. It sets my body on fire despite all my inner objections and goose bumps race across my flesh.
“What are you doing?”
“You and I aren’t leaving this cabin until we work this out.” He motions between the two of us and I scoff, turning away from him.
Oh, hell.
If I’m locked in this house with him, I’ll never be able to resist.
“Just try and stop me from leaving, Noah.”
He closes the distance between us and I shiver when his breath hits the back of my neck. “What’s wrong, Kady baby? Afraid to be alone with me?”
“Not afraid,” I breathe, trying to ignore the knot of desire forming in my belly. “Just not interested.”
“You don’t sound as confident as you did a second ago,” he whispers in my ear and I barely hold back a shudder. He grabs my hips and pulls me back back into his body. “Stop pretending like you haven’t missed this.”
“Noah,” I sigh and he hums in my ear.
“Fuck, I missed hearing you say my name like that, baby.”