“Kady,” Noah calls after me, charging down the hallway and I stop in the bedroom and strip his t-shirt over my head before stepping into the bathroom. I flip the hot water on as the memories continue to bombard me and a soft sob bubbles out of me. Bracing my hands on the sink, I clamp one over my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut as I focus on my breathing in an effort to calm myself.
I can’t do this.
Not today.
“Kady, baby,” Noah whispers from behind me, his touch gentle on my hip before he wraps his arms around my waist and places a kiss on top of my head. He turns me in his arms so I’m facing him and as soon as my head is buried in his neck, it all comes out. Seven years of pain and longing pour out of me, the sound of the shower helping to mask my sobs and Noah just holds me close - letting me feel safe enough to let go for the first time since he got locked up.
“I didn’t know you’d been arrested until Bobby freed me,” I whisper and he pulls back to look at me.
“What?”
More tears fall down my cheeks as I think about how much Noah not coming for me hurt. “On the night I was taken, I was waiting for you to pick me up and I never knew that you’d been arrested or sent to jail. Every night, I looked out of the tiny window in the bedroom of the apartment and I prayed that you’d come for me.”
“Oh, baby,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oliver told me that you didn’t want me anymore… that you’d given me to him.”
His muscles tense as he holds me.
“I didn’t believe him at first but then… the longer I was there, the more believable it became.”
“Listen to me, Kady,” he growls, grabbing my arms and pushing me back so he can look in my eyes. “I will never abandon you. Never.”
I suck in a breath and nod before he pulls me back into his arms. Knowing that Noah and me is a bad idea doesn’t stop me from wishing I could just spend the rest of forever in his arms like this. Nothing feels better, safer than when he wraps me up but the consequences of us getting back together are too real to ignore. The thought makes me cry again and Noah presses a kiss to the top of my head as he holds me tighter - almost like he’s holding all my broken pieces together.
“About last night,” I whisper, pulling back to look at him when I’ve calmed down a little bit. “I still don’t know if it’s a good idea for us to be together, if it’s safe.”
He nods and presses his lips to my forehead. “You listen to me, Kady. That prick is not taking another minute from us and I’m not letting him anywhere near you. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
“Noah…” I start to protest but he silences me with a quick kiss.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”
I startle, pulling away from him, but he doesn’t allow me to get far. “What?”
“If you can honestly tell me that you don’t love me anymore, I’ll go and I won’t come back but if the only reason you’re fighting this is because of him, you can just stop.”
“It’s not that simple…” I interject and he shakes his head.
“It really is, babe. Maybe you’re not ready or you’re still carrying around too much pain to admit that you love me. Either way, I don’t care. You and I are destined, remember? They’ll have to put me in the ground before I walk away from you.”
That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
* * * *
“Hey,” Hannah says as she walks into the back room with a bag of food in her hand. I turn my attention from the puppy greedily slurping on his bottle in my lap to the smell of Mexican food radiating from the bag. My stomach growls.
“Is that for me?”
She nods, setting it on the table in front of me before holding her hands out for the puppy. We trade off and as soon as he’s safely in her grasp, I yank the bag of food into my lap with a moan.
“It smells so damn good.”
“I figured you had to be pretty hungry. Dr. Hebert said that you and Lauren have been trading off twelve hour shifts so someone is with them at all times.”
I nod as I pull the quesadilla out of the bag. “Yeah. I swear, by the time I get done feeding all of them and helping them go to the bathroom, it’s time to start all over again.”
“I think I found a foster home for them today so hopefully you won’t have to do it too much longer.”
“That’s good,” I answer before biting into my food. “I think they will really thrive in a home setting.”
She nods, glancing down at the puppy in her lap. “So… how long do I have to wait before I ask you about the sex?”
“What?” I start choking on my food and she reaches over, patting me on the back and when I can breathe again, I shoot her a look. “What makes you think I had sex?”
Scoffing, she shakes her head. “Please. You’re glowing, babe. The only thing I don’t know is who the lucky guy is…”
“Well, considering I broke up with Mason.”
“I knew it!” she exclaims, startling the little baby on her lap and she soothes him before turning to me with a wide grin. “You and Noah had fireworks going off when I left you two the other day so I’m not surprised.”
“Yeah, yeah… I just feel bad for Mason.”
She winces. “How did he take it?”
“Like a gentleman,” I answer, shaking my head. “He didn’t even yell at me or get upset.”
“Wait, he wasn’t upset?”
The memory of the look on his face pops into my mind and I sigh as I shake my head. “I mean, he was upset but he didn’t get upset, if that makes sense. He said that he knew it was inevitable once Noah came back to town.”
“Poor guy.”
“Yeah,” I sigh, nodding. The puppy in her lap finishes his bottle and she sets it on the table before picking him up and holding him against her chest.
“I mean, don’t feel too bad for him. Mason Barrow is still one of the most eligible bachelors in town. He won’t be lonely long, babe.”
I nod. “Good.”
“You’re not jealous?” she asks with a raised brow and I shake my head as I scowl at her.
“Why would I be?”
She shrugs, a hint of a smile on her face. “No reason. Just making sure that there are no regrets.”
I roll my eyes and go back to my food.
“Are you going to leave me hanging? How did it go with Noah?”
I glance around the back room before scowling at her. “I’m not giving you details.”
“Um, yes you are, bitch, but those can wait till later. Just tell me that it was everything you remember and so much more.”
Remembering last night, I shift in my seat and smile. “Yeah.”
“Oh my God, you little hussy,” she hisses, glaring at me. “I got all the information I need from that look on your face. Makes me want to rush home and fantasize about a man that will come sweep me off my feet.”
“In what world does that describe Noah?” I ask with a laugh. Sweep me off my feet… no. Steal me away in the dark of night and hold me hostage until I agree to be his… yeah, maybe. My mind flashes back to our conversation this morning and I suck in a breath as the smile falls from my face. “I told him about Oliver, too.”